In the beginning ..

From the age of 1 year or less, the Oral Character layer of energy blocks is formed.
This may occur due to tragic circumstances surrounding the infant including sickness within itself or with its caregivers, a too-hectic lifestyle, emotionally and practically unprepared parents, emotionally distant or authoritarian care providers ... anything which presents a perception to the infant of being abandoned and unloved.

Child rearing practices in some cultures, such as the German, almost demand the development of this block pattern. That is, an attitude is taken that the infant should be made to be independent at the earliest of ages. Crying may be dealt with by leaving the infant to cry itself to sleep. Infants may be spoken of as if they were things rather than people and they may be expected to behave like junior adults in spite of the fact that their physical brain development will not have such intellectual or emotional capability for several years.

This pattern may be present in as many as 30% of persons of German heritage and in 12% of North Americans.

Reality, from within.

A life expectation is assumed by the person who develops such a "character" pattern so early in life.
Essentially, they have never known anything differently and with the automatic responses of the block layer, they remain closed to any further development unless the layer is released. Remember, these are energy block automatic patterns of feeling, perceiving, and responding. They are not carried out by choice. The individual quickly learns to sabotage themselves by developing rationalizations excusing their responses and thereby bypassing the anxieties and guilt of a more aware person.

Being stuck in the infantile stage, is how Lowen refers to this pattern (taking, converted in the adult to compulsive giving with the expectation of return) of sexual development, unable to progress to the adult (giving, receiving, and taking) genital stage. Even after the layer is released, the old familiar patterns will remain as comfortable habits and constructive change will often require the self-discipline of involvement in self-awareness and emotion definition (Sentics) exercises, and/or, choosing to be involved in a relationship that can provide healthy adult patterns of communication and intimacy. Infantile patterns are much simpler and more direct for they involve no sincere consideration for the rights, emotions, and values of anyone else. Adult development demands an ability to go beyond oneself and share the realities of others which we will not always like, agree with, or tolerate.

Adult mature patterns, like emotional sensitivity, may only be activated by their use.
It is not a case of learning the new patterns as it is one of experiencing them, becoming aware of them, appreciating their benefits and then becoming comfortable with them. A person has a capability to walk when they are born. Failure to attempt to walk and failure to practice trying to walk will lead to the ability never being expressed. So it is also with the expression of feelings and the sharing of intimacy.

The Key: Giving, but unable to receive.

The core to understanding this energy blocked character style and its weaknesses which convert potential to disaster is the compulsive focus of the individual on a behavior of giving. The infant unable to receive the love which it needs, not only desires, falls into deepest despair and depression. To defend the infant from continued negativity, their Reptilian Brain, which monitors all of the automatic functions of the body to permit physical survival, creates an energy block layer. These blocks essentially turn the responses of the infant from needing and demanding to needing but never asking. If demanding never produces a positive response, depression and despair result. So the new response prevents a depressing reply by simply never asking.

Yet, internally, the infant has a continued sense of loss.
It grieves for love which has been withheld from it, and now, it is prevented from requesting.
As the rational mind and intellect develop, it appears logical that if one gives to others, they should give back.
Behaviors develop in the physically maturing individual which reverse the earlier unsatisfied need to take ... to a compulsive need to give.

An inability to take or receive in mature relationships and communication results in a denial of the rights, feelings, opinions --- identity, of everyone else. This is often disguised as false humility until further challenges encourage the communication of the individual to become more complex and appear as false empathy. These may be expressed in ways including not being able to receive a compliment, making excuses as to why the individual has done something of merit so as to avoid the responsibility and the credit, asking about the welfare of others as a routine to "show" that they care, speaking of love to hide a desperation for acceptance and approval. The variety of behaviors and wording will vary according to the influence of other blocks which the person has as well as the influence of their Basic Personality.

For the healthy individual, a rejection of their compliment, their feelings, their love, and their opinions --- is, rejection and disrespect. If the person receiving the rejection has felt respect for the Oral Character individual before, or even love, this respect will begin to wane unless they are as unhealthy in their self-esteem to take the rejection as merited. This does, however drive away any healthy persons who like to give to others for their rejected efforts signal to them that their effort is not appreciated.

Those who remain, are those of weak esteem, who, like the Oral Character, may now take the dependency position of believing that in some way they must measure up to the standards of the person they want approval from. This may take the form of subservient loyalty in which the person makes decisions based on what is best for the Oral Character person and not for themselves. The end result is that the Oral Character has driven away any source of real love with obedience and dependency present but fulfilling only as an illusion.

Personality strengths/weaknesses.

The Basic Personality of every person is framed by major traits.
Those traits will dominate the life of that person. In the infantile stage of development, they are crude and forceful.
Progression to the more mature genital stage adult will require a self-disciplining of those characteristics so that they can be effectively and efficiently applied in social environments and result in positive outcomes.

Major personality traits are described and categorized by different authors according to separate lists of names.
Allen F. Harrison and Robert M. Branson write in their "Styles of Thinking" about 5 major Thinking Styles: Analyst, Idealist, Pragmatist, Realist, Synthesist. Some astrologers have referred to a list that includes Locomotive (Problem Solving), Bundle (Specialist), Bowl (Self-Contained), Bucket (Achievement), See-Saw (Consideration), Splay (Individualist). There may be other listings and each list of categories may be able to equate to the others. The important factor to note here is that there are a variety of dominant character focusing traits and that these are not endless.

The infantile stage of development restrains the healthy progression of an Oral Character blocked person by keeping the dominant personality trait at a point of basic and crude simplicity. Without the normal expansion of the expressiveness of this trait, the person remains retarded in their social development. They may be forceful and dramatic as individuals but weak and ineffective as social participants. One example only will be explored here. Try to use the following as a kind of template for you to complete to better understand the others.

The Individualist (Splay) or Pragmatist dominant trait is expressed in the infantile stage of development much as we would expect in the behavior of a 2-year old who is always exploring, challenging, and stretching their boundaries --- being obstinate and strong-willed --- being "difficult" in the eyes of some parents. In the infantile stage, every dominant trait is at a point of weakness.

To become strong, it must grow with the person and be supported by a range of experiences and a toolbox of skills which allow for its constructive and efficient application. In the elementary stage, the individualist is strongly insecure within. It hugs itself, afraid to reach out, afraid that by reaching out it will give up part of itself ... and become weaker and less than it is. This is one of three major displays of the Oral Character blocked person.

Progression to the more mature genital stage of adulthood requires the Oral Character blocked person to do all the things which their energy blocks prevent them from doing. By interacting with others, the boundaries of the "Me + Mom" person become transformed into the "I and Mother" combination. With acceptance and rejection, experience and feedback, interaction and solitude, depression and joy, grief and hope --- the person develops the ability for love. Yet, all of these factors, and thus the result, is withheld from the Oral Character blocked person.

It minimizes its input in order to protect its fragile self, starved at one point of the benefits of love: acceptance, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, encouragement, security, trust. These are the keys to love but the infant looks for love detached from the factors which create it, and so, will never find it. Released of the blocks, the person will have the challenge to express each of the factors mentioned above in order to create love within themselves. Only at that point will they be able to both offer and receive love and maintain a relationship in which love is shared, not negotiated.

A transition stage of individualistic expression will often be required to enable the infantile Oral Character blocked person to proceed to the more expansive, more free genital stage healthy adult. Having been unsatisfactorily expressed and not having been accepted as an individual at a very young stage, the infant-limited adult will often need to go through a stage in which they fully express their Ego, find their personal desires, feelings, fears, anxieties, limitations. Options, choices, and opportunities concealed by perception fogged by energy blocks and denied by locked doors, the individual now finds all doors open and their vision clearer. Where to go? What to do? How to do it? One foot in the past and one foot in the future? So many choices!

The simplest answer out of confusion for an Oral Character blocked person who has now released their blocks is to know where one can go and focus on the Present. The past is dead. Respect it and leave it behind. Plan for the future, dream for the future, but recognize that the future is made in the present. The Healthy Adult description is one possibility of getting a focus on where you can go. If you have a spouse, make sure you are both on the same path: getting rid of your blocks, aware of this and the Healthy Adult page, and acknowledge that you are going to get there together, as separate individuals.

Some persons need to find themselves by themselves for they are not strong enough to do so with others close by. It may take them months or years, but no dependable progress will be made until they do. Others, with a supportive mate and environment, may be able to grow with others nearby. Each must choose what they are able to work with to grow beyond infantile selfish independence into adult shared independence.

Sharing is a choice, not a state of being.
Individuals choose.
Slaves and infants must follow their masters.
Become free to share!

Stability as hidden insecurity.

"I know what I want ... what I have always wanted!"
Change for the Oral Character energy blocked person is extremely difficult due to its early formation and long presence.
The infant never wants to give up anything, only to add. So, the Oral Character adult is often a collector. What they collect may take many forms: diplomas, titles of authority, money, houses, cars, material possessions, gadgets, acquaintances, lovers, causes, trips, memoirs.

Often, the individual will be attracted to a collection style which is relevant to their Basic Personality.
They may have one or more collection focuses but they will seldom change and so become long-term behaviors. Whatever is collected symbolizes the external image of acceptance and approval which the Oral Character blocked person is driven to acquire. Their possessions and achievements tranquillize their desperation for inclusion with the illusion of inclusion in the world of success as promoted in the mass media and the general commercial culture.

The more material wealth and social recognition which a person compulsively acquires, the more that person advertises to the world that he or she is desperate for approval and acceptance. The person who is secure within themselves, usually block-free, does not accumulate to impress others, nor to support their own sense of pride, built on toxic shame feelings which make them doubt their worth.

The inwardly secure person has accepted themselves as fallible human beings capable of change and improvement.
They work best at what gives them and others pleasure rather than working at what brings pleasure to others but displeasure to oneself. They are a benefit to any team for they work with openness, honesty, accountability, and sharing. But, all of this requires risk, courage, and determination --- and these only prove their worth over time.

Waiting, delays, and durations are not in the vocabulary of the infantile Oral Character.
It wants everything now! It only has time to blurt out its viewpoint or demand and then it packs up ready to go.
Yes, the person may give you your opportunity to respond, but it is really not listening. The only information considered relevant to the Oral Character is often the information they have provided.

Illusion meets reality.

Oral Characters bring suffering to themselves and those close to them, and, to their colleagues when they occupy, or are given, positions of authority and power. Unable to acknowledge and work with the feelings, perceptions, and expertise of others, their decisions are mostly founded on their own limited experience and shuttered awareness. The potential for less-than-the-best decisions is high with the potential for shortfalls and failures high. Eventually, an Oral Character leader or manager will fragment their marriage, decimate their army, disenchant their workers, and bankrupt their company.

Intentions are often reversed in the outcome.
Too often we find them in positions of being "priests or mobsters" as one has described the occupational alternatives.
Adolph Hitler is one of the best known well-intentioned destructive examples. Philanthropists, also well intentioned, who have sponsored military revolutions and powdered milk deliveries which brought epidemic suffering and death from diarrhoea are other examples. More positive are those who have devoted their lives to supporting a constructive social cause. Put them in a support position and stay away from relationships with them, unless you are willing to be their next casualty.

Deception or Procedure?

The emotions of the person with an Oral Character energy block pattern are expressed in such a subtle way relative to what the healthy adult character does that it is often difficult to know the real depth of their emotions. Since the greatest impact on others of this negative pattern is at the intimate level, that will be discussed here. To the healthy individual, it may be nearly impossible to determine how genuine the expressions of the Oral Character are. The Oral Character learns throughout life as to what practices, procedures, phrases, and expressed attitudes attract the gender of their choice. As they are always perfecting this repertoire from personal experience and from romantic novels, they have a well polished facade. Indeed, deprived of ever experiencing the deeper feelings possible through true sharing, they believe that this is all that there is to loving; hence, the phrase: "Is that all there is?"

Practical, routine responses in intimacy provide no surprises, no anxiety, a sense of control, and an expectation of acceptance and approval. After all, these are the movements and procedures which have proven successful in the past, or, that others have reportedly found successful, so, they should work! The older the person and the more set the patterns together with the number of other blocks they have which are built on factors such as security, power, intimacy, abandonment --- the greater the sense of disappointment, depression, and rejection felt --- when the old procedures just don't "work" with the new partner. With a loving partner, adjustments and approval can be encouraged and given and some progress made, but only IF the person with the Oral Character pattern learns to think with their heart and acknowledge the right of their partner to be an individual.

What happened here?

Lack of emotional connection.
For the truly mature ("genital stage") adult, becoming aware of the Oral Character's concerns more to "control" them than to acknowledge them can be the first sign of something being wrong. Whenever the relationship is threatened, or the non-Oral character truthfully speaks of leaving from his or her frustration with the lack of acknowledgement from and the lack of desire from their partner, the ease with which the Oral Character can simply set aside the relationship is another signal that something is terribly not what it may have seemed.

Truly passionate positive emotions, for the Oral Character blocked person are usually not possible as the person lacks the experience of honest interaction. This leaves them incapable of real commitment which requires demonstrated honesty, compassion, and forgiveness, not just mouthings of the words. These traits are superficial if they only apply when there is no risk of disapproval, shame, or guilt. In fact, most of the time, a person who stands strongly behind these values risks opposition. The only reason for a healthy adult to stay with a person who has an Oral Character layer of blocks is because they have been deceived, by the trust required for any good relationship, perhaps some naivety, and, the expert acting of their partner. To the degree that the non-Oral person is proud, has been persuaded, and has desired a healthy relationship --- that will be the degree to which they will stay, and suffer.

It is emphasized here that this suffering was never intended by the Oral Character on the victim.
Nor can they empathize with it for they are incapable of such a depth of feeling themselves. Together, the relationship becomes one of quiet desperation and eternal disappointment for both. Apart, there is a tragedy that the potential for two persons to share a great experience of love for the rest of their lives has been withheld and prevented by energy block compulsory behaviors and/or the inability for the Oral Character person to choose with determination to grow even after the blocks have been released.

What you see is all you get!

Physical response is no indicator of genuine adult "genital" love.
A woman and a man may equally masturbate to orgasm with all of their natural lubricants and fluids flowing so such being present is no indicator of anything more than need, capability, visualization, and stimulation. For the oral character, one "makes" love happen, like pushing the right buttons. Most often, the "reason" for intimacy is need, not desire, or, novelty, not development.

Pleasure is carried out as a function, duty, expectation.
There are no higher steps, just better rewards. Their reward is approval, accomplishment, a job well done, rewards of the material world or security and social acceptance, getting what they want. It is all a consciously determined, rationalized, and intellectualized pursuit. Looked at from a distance, it is a strategy of: "How do I get what I want, which is not love, for I am not allowed to have love." The joy which is supposed to be present just never seems to materialize. When the novelty wears off and if the rewards dwindle, loving stops. You only get what you see: the vision, the image, the picture, the show, the illusion.

The healthy "genital stage" adult has little attachment to technique.
For he or she, their focus is on "sharing" love. You cannot share nothing.
The healthy adult first is self-aware and knows what pleasures them, and how, as well as what does not.
They know that they deserve love and they desire love. They freely offer love without expecting anything in return. They have learned to take pleasure from giving pleasure. It is another step higher for them if someone freely and willingly wants to share their own love with he or she. And, with increased joy, the healthy adult receives love from their partner even as their partner is receiving love from them.

This interaction of sensing the wants of the other person, requesting and accepting their feedback, responding, and finding pleasure in one's own participation, as well as in the pleasuring of the other, enhances the physical, expands the emotional and stimulates the spiritual appreciation of the persons involved. The "heart" of the persons so involved is expressed in their awareness of themselves and their partner. What you get is more than the eye can see. There is deep feelings which join the two identities together in trust for and reverence of one another.

I know all, just ask me.

"Intellectual but not wise" defines the typical Oral Character blocked person.
They will quickly offer analysis of any situation without relevancy. There is an intention in others with the hidden motive of looking for opportunities to serve or please with the expectation of approval or reward. Their motive is revealed when the recipient of their advice does not thank them profusely, expresses concern or doubt, or, does not follow their suggestions. At that point, the Oral Character often takes the suggested disapproval of their listener personally. They may become more insistent, angry, or simply withdraw. If the awareness comes later, it is not uncommon for them to make comments about the weakness of the other person for not following the esteemed advice given. This is also why Oral Characters may sometimes like to quote popular or idealistic authors. It allows them to assume the authority of someone else and act as the stand-in to receive the praise.

" It's the thing to do," may be more directly the reason for listening to and offering advice to others than "Perhaps I can lessen their pain or confusion." The travesty is revealed when we observe that the Oral Character offers solutions and advice based on what they would do if they were in what they perceive the other person's position to be. The irrelevancy of this position is demonstrated when the Oral Character blocked person builds a response on the simplest of details. Rather than ask more questions to broaden the picture, and the potential for other options, the Oral Character assumes 90% of the picture and rushes to judgement. Often, the advice offered is irrelevant to the resources of the person in need. At times, the advice may not only be counterproductive but may encourage further experiences which are likely to build more energy blocks for the person in need.

Why do others listen?
When a person is confused and desperate, it is natural to look to others for help.
One is often led to expect, in an authority structured society, that the person who acts like an expert is an expert.
Confidence is 9/10ths of trust after all. And, the Oral Character blocked person is totally confident that they have the only right answer. This projected authority, the result of a desire for approval and a compulsion to give or offer, plus, an over-dependency on intellectualizing everything into neat, narrowly structured conclusions --- proves very persuasive. What is missing is "heart".

What a difference a question can make.
If the Oral Character blocked person were to ask questions and get a more fully complete understanding of the circumstances and concerns of the person in need, they would perhaps be more able to first define if there was anything they could constructively add. The mature adult is humble enough to admit that they do not know the information which is needed and either assist the needy person in finding it, suggest where they may find it, or simply suggest that another person may be more helpful to them. Not so, for the Oral Character. They know, or must appear to know. If they do not know, they make attempts to intellectually construct an answer from their vivid imagination. Yet, a few questions can help one find a valid answer which the person in need and the facilitator work out together through discussion and clarification about the concern. Not so, for the Oral Character assumes that the person in need is a complete dunce, otherwise why would they not have solved their problem, and, why would they be listening?

I will ... IF, you ....

A reaction to abandonment is the foundation of the Oral Character layer of energy blocks.
It presents itself as an extreme need for acceptance and approval. It is perceived by those nearest to it as smothering. Yet it is distantly suggestive of the person who offers to volunteer and commits based on the responses of the faces around them. Signs of approval get a "Go", unresponsiveness yields "Doubt", and negation produces withdrawal. Decisions are based either on an expectation of external approval (from others), or, on personal intellectualization.

Committing to an ideal is an Oral Character blocked person's trait.
Their intolerance and inflexibility, viewed as confidence, persuades others.
In actual fact, it is their strength of will in its determination to do "the right thing" rather than face the pain of exclusion or disapproval, that forms the insecurity that becomes interpreted as authority. Convinced of the "moral" acceptability of a war, Oral Character blocked persons will be amongst the first to enlist. They will speak of duty and honor, but they would not be there if it were not for the expectation of heroism, medals, recognition, acceptance. Other Oral Character blocked persons will hurriedly enlist as they get the approving nods, smiles, and glances of camaraderie from those already enlisted. All will be willing to Give their energy, health, freedom, even life itself --- to be welcomed back home as finally "acceptable."

Giving orders or taking orders, for the Oral Character blocked person is all a matter of what rewards are promised. If a slave will receive recognition, respect, and financial benefit from carrying out his or her duties, they will happily devote themselves to the task given them. That task may range from working on an assembly line to working as office support staff, to carrying out torture on captives in order to win a war. It is all in the line of duty. And, duty is honorable for those in need of honor --- for those who crave respect. Giving orders simply places the source for acceptance at a level of higher intensity. The acceptance here arises from the supreme leader with a lesser yet assumed acceptance arising from all the rest of society.

I don't have any negative emotions!

Acknowledging one's negative emotions takes inner security and courage.
The Oral Character blocked person is not permitted either of these strengths.
With their deeply internalized sense of guilt for abandonment ( I was abandoned because I did something wrong), and, the intense need for acceptance and approval (love me), there is no room for admissions of wrong to oneself and definitely not to any others. That would be like saying that one was consciously doing something so as to be excluded. It would be like an innocent person being convicted of a crime, being given a day pass out of imprisonment, only to commit a certified crime. Who could be that stupid! Not the Oral Character. It has done everything with the best of intentions. If those intentions do not work out, it is someone else's fault. If the recipient of these intentions does not want or appreciate the result, they are simply ungrateful and deserve their problems. Compassion is only acted out here. It is an illusion to fool the world both outside and inside that the person deserves approval and reward.

Recognition and memory of one's negative emotions, for an Oral Character blocked person, rarely surfaces until many energy blocks and/or those of the Oral Character layer are released. It is so horrifying for such a person to face feelings of hate, vengeance, anger, rage, grief, sadness, depression, ... that their expression is denied externally. Often the individual will know in their heart that they have such feelings but these only intensify the guilt feelings associated with the original perception of abandonment and helplessness. As Sentics research has shown us, deny the negative and have difficulty in recognizing it, and you are denied the positive and will have difficulty in expressing those emotions. So, the person caught in the Oral Character starves themselves of quality living out of fear and uncertainty and inexperience.

The best of intentions often yield the biggest disasters.
Intentions are what we think will be acceptable to others and what we expect they will benefit from.
They are apart from reality and in the field of imagination and illusion for we do not confirm them with those we impose them onto. This is doubly a negative when the Oral Character assumes that the person they are talking to has the resources that they themselves have and that they understand the other person's situation with almost no details. Never put an Oral Character blocked person on a Distress Hotline. If you do, before long, their authoritarian approach will be pushing callers to commit suicide, start a fight, or break up a relationship.

If you want status quo lectures about how you are stupid but can learn to be as smart as them by learning from them what they learned, you've got the right number. If you want to hear how you SHOULD have asked for help sooner and then you wouldn't be in such a mess, you've got it. If you want someone to simply tell you what to do and how to live your life, the Oral Character blocked person will tell you. What you will hear is how THEY feel about YOUR situation, how THEY would solve YOUR problem, what all YOUR negatives are and how THEY have all the positives.

Their positives keep making you feel more negative!
Why is that? Why do you become more angry and more depressed?
Could it be because they are not acknowledging you? How much of the time are YOU talking versus THEM talking?
Their attitude of authority is likely to drive your feelings of depression into hopelessness; to drive your desire for salvation into victimization feelings; to drive your desire for negotiation to a solution into a resolution for aggressive or passive action. Avoid good intentions. It takes a spiritually and positive-centered person to concentrate on what options you have rather than what options you have lost. Go for a listening ear that can provide acknowledgement and feedback ... someone who RESPECTS you!

An accident that will happen?

Wanting and getting what one does not deserve becomes guilt.
If the oral character needs love which has been denied to it as an infant, and has been forced to live with the attitude (by way of the energy block) that they cannot ASK or invite such love, they will also follow cultural norms which enable them to suggest this miscommunication. Much of what is termed "romance", "flirting", or "playing hard-to-get" are all part of the "games" which Oral Characters are often compelled, by their blocks, to play.

The deception for the other participant is that they think the "game" is just a casual and polite way of indicating an obvious sexual attraction. The reality, for the Oral Character, is that the game is just a game. It is a way of asking for love in such a manner that later, the request can always be denied as only "just fun". There may be a fine line between rape, sexual provocation, and seduction here. If the Oral Character begins to feel guilty during the sexual escapades involved, they may change their minds about continuing and say so to the other participant. After much in the way of enticement, the other participant may misinterpret this "change of heart" as simply another tactic in seduction, and continue. It is always a question of when, for the Oral Character, novelty turns to guilt. At that point, the previously "enjoyed" sexuality is no longer acceptable. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, seldom years --- it is all just a matter of time.

God, give me what I want!

Prayer is a technical ritual for the Oral Character blocked person.
There may be many words spoken to the expectation that God will make all things right, eventually.
As the Oral Character believes that they are doing everything perfectly ... how could there be any other positive options ... the projection and rationalization is made that doing good by MY standard will eventually be rewarded by MY standards. But, is it a request, or, is it a statement?

Describing to God what WE want and expecting that want to be fulfilled is making ourselves of greater authority than God. We are not interested in what God may want, only what we want. As the Oral Character projects values, feelings, and standards onto those people around, so also are personal norms projected onto God. The prayer so oft expressed by the Oral Character blocked person is "Give me what I want, or, I will persist in my choices until you do give them to me." This is a prayer of setting oneself apart from others, of being treated better than others, of being approved of and rewarded for sitting on the chamber pot like a proud princess or prince. The thought never comes to mind that perhaps the disappointments, setbacks and failures may be the result of an error in one's expectations or assumptions, and, that one would best ASK for clarification.

The matured "adult", without the limiting Oral Character energy blocks, prays instead with humility, accepting to put oneself second and accepting responsibility for one's errors, reverence to acknowledge the wonder of God which provides opportunities to help others to a better life, and faith to demonstrate commitment to the reward to be granted which will bring all life into greater harmony. This is a plea and an expectation of coming together, of contributing to the whole, of giving, not to receive, but, because one knows that one is already receiving and will continue to receive ... as long as one asks, and, accepts.

Intellect workers to please.

Excellent technicians flow from Oral Character blocked personalities.
Oral Characters work best independently for they have little tolerance for criticism.
They often master practical skills and routines which require introspection, analysis, detail, and precision. They are always pleased to receive encouraging comments and personal attention although they most often do not acknowledge such. They need to have an immediate indication of their worth in what they do and this can be most easily provided by the completion of work routines that are straight-forward. Laboratory procedures, installation procedures, troubleshooting procedures, telephone procedures, repair procedures, surgical procedures, --- procedures for just about anything --- provide an illusion of stable and assured reward.

Supervisory positions requiring the enforcement of rules, written or unwritten, derived from superiors, onto a staff with whom they interact with largely devoid of commitment or compassion, beyond that of the approval offered through "duty" are well suited to Oral Character blocked persons. Their greatest concern may become a need to save face, to not be seen for what they really are. Revealing their true self-concerned core would threaten to convert those who give them daily approval, both those of greater and lesser authority, with a sanction to treat them in return as little more than numbers. That penalty of reality could find them excluded, passed over, or fired. For this reason, Oral Character blocked persons will devote great effort to the appearance of concern and loyalty for their workers, because, "it is expected of them."

More perfect than perfect: that is our aim.
Often, this block pattern of behavior is supported by other blocks which encourage perfectionism.
Referenced by John Bradshaw in his "Healing the Shame that Binds You" as "toxic shame" induced, the Oral Character seeks to be perfect with the expectation that by being so, no possibility for exclusion or non-acceptance will remain. Yet the behavior is both acceptable and a failure. No matter how well one is skilled or how great one tries, one will never be perfect. Inwardly, the prize can never be attained, or if attained, cannot be kept. So one is set up to fail, continually, or eventually.

If one expects perfection from others, they also will never measure up, and will suffer the abuse of the intolerant Oral Character who is either always chastising others for their faults, or, lauding oneself for being better than others, or, always making comparisons between who is better and who is not good enough. The lack of heart is demonstrated in the inability of the Oral Character blocked person to take into account the personal variations applicable, in reality, involving capabilities, resources, opportunities, support, choice, and energy block influence. Instead, judgement is made on singular factors which relegate others to the level of things, or numbers.

No army, industry, office --- in our commercial and technical world, can exist without technicians, and so, there are always openings for Oral Character blocked individuals in cultures whose focus is on quantity, materialism, and power. For the same reason that such blocked personalities contribute greatly to these areas, they fail in interactions in which heart, wisdom, quality, spiritualism, and humility dominate: healing, parenting, partnerships, intimacy.

Insensitivity and non-sensual.

For any degree of sensitivity, one must have trust.
How can you allow any measure of credibility to another person, and thereby listen to them, if you assume that you cannot trust them? How can you reveal your weaknesses that you want to improve and strengthen to another person if you fear they will use this intimate information to discredit you to others? Without trust, any interactivity is formalized into rituals slightly more complex than robotic exchanges: predictable, reactive, cause and effect, typical. The person who has an energy block layer which gives them an Oral Character reacts with distrust to the whole world. As an infant, they came into the world trusting in receiving love from their caregivers. Instead, in their hour of greatest need, they were abandoned. That was their total universe, and so it will be until they release these blocks, or, overlay them with conditioned behaviors. The danger in the latter is that the new behaviors will never be entirely comfortable and any great challenge will disburse them. Balancing is the only sure key to freedom.

Secondly, you must be open to and willing to receive feedback and touch from others.
The Oral Character blocked person cannot receive except during times of novelty and "out-of-character" alter-ego expressiveness. At those times, the compulsion of separateness and emotional starvation experienced and structured by the Oral Character becomes too great and a temporary lapse into naughtiness takes over. This is just as compulsive as the main theme of the block layer. For a short period, the compulsive need to suck in food, or clothing, or movies, or books, or baths, or sexual expression, or travel, or alcohol, or cigarettes, or talking, .... becomes a release, a fad, a romance, a novelty ... a pleasure! It is the desperation and intensity with which these activities are engaged in, without any follow through into the longer-term, which displays the apparent deception, illusion, and emotional emptiness of the Oral Character.

Love and pleasure are wanted but denied so as not to be refused or penalized while often partly, or totally concealed expressions are carried on in the background, often at random. Such binges can be involved in intensively for a few minutes (cigarettes, food, bath), hours (alcohol, drugs, purchase of personal articles, books), or days into months (sexual romance - affairs, travel, work, writing). The destructiveness of such diversions is that in the end love is not found and the pleasure obtained is never enough to truly satisfy and bring contentment. After another period of self-denial, another "affair" will have to happen so that the Oral Character can cope.

Thirdly, you must want to share and not feel guilty about receiving or taking what is offered.
The Oral Character feels deep within that it is not worthy. If it cannot reject or refuse or delay what is offered, it will feel guilty for having accepted it. Guilt for a compliment earned. Guilt for a sexual relationship offered. Guilt for buying too many things. Guilt for eating too much. For anyone who is observant and block-free aware, this is evident and such a person may relay this to the Oral Character blocked person. Every block is an addiction and addicts seldom admit to their addiction for to admit to it is to assume responsibility for it and how can one assume responsibility for a compulsion which twists reality into illusion and makes illusion reality.

The guilt obsessed Oral Character responds by saying that they are "good enough", almost apologetically, that they are "great", that they don't need to change, and won't, and, that they can get along fine on their own until Mr. or Ms Right comes along. This is alter-ego denial. People who feel they are worthy go out and get the rewards of being an adult: love, togetherness, trust, empathy, openness, sexual sharing. The Oral Character may talk of these a lot in reverse proportion to what they have, or, they may never talk of these, except with negativity.

Experiencing in a favorable way the benefits of interacting with others is a fourth factor, arising from the former ones. This can take any form similar to and including discussion, shared planning, teamwork, partnership, adult sexuality. Touching for the Oral Character blocked person is a matter of poking, prodding, scratching, rubbing, manipulating, tickling, massaging ... doing! It is not something with any more enjoyment than that it is "done" for someone else. An exchange for something wanted. Perhaps a fantasy that by either being very passive, or very active, one is expressing love ... but this is infantile love, in reverse.

Adult love involves shared "touching" with the focus on the other AND on oneself.
The block-free adult enjoys the "touch" of touching and is pleasured by what one is doing while also sensing deeply the responses of the person they are sharing with. The adult likes to caress and hold, and hug; the Oral Character avoids caressing and stays apart. No Oral Character blocked person will admit that they don't know how to touch or how to carry on a constructive discussion. How can they? They have never allowed themselves to be involved in such ... always holding back, being guarded.

The closed door... locked within.

Without the ability to receive love there is little opportunity to develop self-awareness and even less opportunity for the Oral Character blocked person to develop an awareness of the needs of others. If you do not know yourself and cannot fully experience your own emotions, fears and anxieties, how can you be sensitive to acknowledge and empathize with the feelings of others. If you cannot acknowledge those desires and needs which others have which are different from yours, how can you expand your awareness and options to include these findings.

The Oral Character suffers from "tunnel experience" in which others are perceived as a mirror image of oneself. One is not secure within oneself to withstand the ego and superego challenges of others who are different. Being over-sensitive to rejection by being over-needy for approval, the Oral Character sacrifices growth, freedom, contentment for an illusion of security bound by limits on the self. "Don't ask for what you may not receive" is the mantra of the block layer. Yet, how often will one receive if one never asks? And how long will one receive if one never acknowledges the offer and the presence of love. Love cannot abide a vacuum. Unlike the Oral Character behavior and attitude, love cannot exist as a defence against the world nor as a deception which manipulates the trust and acceptance of others. Nothing is allowed to come in, so, growth is limited.

Broken promises, despair, defeat.

When a person with Oral Character blocks "soldiers on" for decades and never reaches the good times they have projected for themselves, or, has reached them and then lost them, the true inner reality of the blocked person is often revealed. "No longer Mr. or Ms. nice guy!" is often the thought, or even the verbalization. The person may now make the demands openly that were previously veiled in deceptive, manipulative, or obtuse wordings.

The darkness of the present and the hopelessness for the future which the Oral Character blocked person perceives only leaves the past as less depressing. The past constantly fills the majority of the person's consciousness. The "good old times" often sound better than the reality, and may even take on imaginary proportions. Of course, everyone must have something pleasurable in their past from the millions of experiences which they have had. Yet, the failure to live in the present and build for a future shows the great distance that the personality of the person has travelled in its unfulfilled demands.

Blame, guilt, and toxic shame are spread widely.
Why do you never call?
Why do you never visit?
You look terrible (let me make it better)!
Why do you never take me anywhere?
After all I did for you (which you never asked for)
Why don't you make my life all it should be?
The fallen Oral Character blocked person oozes insecurity, rejection, want.
All efforts have been targeted upon getting approval and acceptance through any and all means, yet, by external judgements, the promise of reward for voluntary sacrifice, has failed.

Reward comes always to the person with inner security for they represent the motivating force and it is that force which determines the degree of success and the relevancy of the effort. For the Oral Character block driven person, reward is projected as a "logical" mechanistic response which is "supposed to" flow from the external motivating source which may determine the degree of success of the choice and the relevancy of the choice, and reward accordingly.

Example:
The Oral Character blocked person may return to the office and bring me a coffee.
The expectation is that I will profusely thank them, enjoy the coffee, and think favorably of them always in the future.
Perhaps I will overlook their tardiness, be less critical of them, reciprocate in kind, or better! Yet, the Oral Character blocked person has not taken note of the fact that I rarely drink coffee, that I usually take milk and sugar in it (they brought none), that I particularly do not like strong coffee (they brought dark roast), that I never order a large coffee (they brought a jumbo size), nor, did they phone and ask on their way in if I would like one (because I just finished my one coffee for the day at a board meeting).

I find myself in the manipulated position of having to thank the Oral Character for something I clearly do Not want, or, of assertively, and, hopefully, as tactfully as possible, informing them that I just had a coffee, appreciate their consideration but would rather they call first on their way back to the office next time so that they don't spend their money needlessly. Even at this, the Oral Character blocked person may take my "negative" comments as a rejection of them and with inner vengeance determine never to buy another coffee for me and perceive me as harsh and abusive. The infant will be unmasked by their future behavior and comments. Oral Characters are most comfortable in co-dependent relationships in which each party plays the game of stroking each other with insincere compliments in order to get insincere compliments. Everyone is nice, and everyone is lying. When the lying stops, the fangs come out, the gossip starts, and the one telling the truth is victimized.

Rewards and Losses.

Materialistically, the rewards are often great.
The Oral Character blocked person may receive dinner dates, evenings at parties, expensive clothing, jewellery, a great amount of admiring attention (acceptance), introduction to socially or politically powerful persons (approval), business and financial favors, marriage proposals, marriage, a parental partner, a financial resource, children. Eventually, there may become an awareness, perhaps after years of emotion deadening relationships, that love, as the oral character knows it, is no great thing.

If worship-like approval is not given from a spouse, the parent may stifle the emotional development of their child in order to keep them emotionally dependent. Satisfying the child's every need for affection and material security, the teenager remains a child, and then, the adult remains a child --- in terms of coping skills. The child-adult, unable to give love for they have always only taken, is prepared to have children in which he or she will encourage an Oral Character block level to form. And so, the pattern repeats, alternating, in this instance between generations. One extreme setting the stage for the opposite extreme.

Intolerance for others is a summation of the Oral Character block layer and those other blocks built to support it.
Authoritarianism, distrust, perfectionism, self-guilt, and often suppressed anger encourage the person to project their negativity into imaginary expectations of whatever seems confusing and threatening to them. Any close relationship is threatening because it holds the next potential source of rejection and abandonment. The closer the relationship, the greater the expectation, and, the greater the expectation, the greater the anxiety.

Eventually the anxiety must be reduced and the easiest way for the indirect communicator is to make the negative happen: Believe that what could happen, has happened. Victimize the other person, who is usually innocent, with accusations and threats verging on phrases which dare the other person to make real what the Oral Character blocked person already has accepted as real.

The healthy person often expresses anger at the lies and insults coming from one who was respected and believed trustful and honest. Attempts to clear the air through presentation of fact often fall on closed ears. Whether ever revealed to the target of this aggressive reaction to a feeling of total helplessness and hopelessness, the Oral Character is likely to hold a grudge towards the other person for the rest of their life. No one but they will understand why. This is one of the most dependable ways of destroying a marriage, relationship, or friendship. Eventually, the Oral Character bound person will drag themselves and those close to them into a life of quiet desperation.

Each, for different reasons, will lose the present.
The Oral Character will yearn for the memories of the novelty of the initial romance.
The Healthy person will yearn for escape from the constant rejection they now find themselves facing into a future of reconciliation, or renewal outside this relationship. Without releasing the blocks, reconciliation will never be more than temporary and the Oral Character will make the self-fulfilling prophesy of abandonment come true.

Growth, to become whole.

Blocked behaviors are compulsions.
You do not change them through reading, rationalizing, discussion, or argument.
It is abusive to ask or demand that someone change attitudes, behaviors, or perceptions over which they have no control.
If THEY are fortunate, they have control over deciding to get rid of their Energy Blocks. If they get rid of enough they will eventually release the Oral Character layer, if they indeed are an oral character. The Higher Self Guided system of Balancing described on this site is not the only way to release blocks, just the most effective way.

Motivation is one of the best and cheapest ways of assisting a person who has an Oral Character energy block layer.
It is not easy. It demands the courage to be honest and truthful with the person in order to give THEM a chance at a much happier and fulfilling life. Oral Characters always assume that other people feel as they would if they project themselves into the position of another person, as they "see" it. The reality is that their assumptions are Usually Wrong. What they "see" the other person's circumstances to be are often built on minimal and irrelevant information. Only feedback would clarify this viewpoint, but, they will not ASK.

Trust-building and sensual expression workshops can help.
Unless the Oral Character block-free person makes the effort to expand their range of experience, their life experience will remain as narrow and shallow as it always has been. These forms of skill are mandatory for the development of positive adult stage of maturity perceptions and behaviors. You can choose to continue to act as an infant and only experience what an infant experiences, or, you can choose to expand your awareness, skills, interactions ... and live a fuller life.

Gossip!
It may be very subtle and persuasive in its eloquence but a lie is a lie.
What is more, they will defend to their grave that what THEY feel is what the other person Must feel! Question their statements about other people. Did they ask the other person directly? Their statements, often made with a conviction of authority, often persuade others to accept and harbour views about others which are no more accurate than gossip. Seen as a friend, they will promote you in the eyes of all others. Seen as a threat, they will warn others, to "save" the others. Chances are they will never admit to being gossips. They only tell the truth, as they know it --- and they never go to the source. Insist on the truth. Get the truth. Why become their slave?

Insist on being Assertive!
Stand up for your right to have and express your own feelings.
Depending on what other energy blocks the individual has built, they may deny you the opportunity to express the emotions they have the most difficulty with. Their reasoning is that they don't have such emotions, so, you should not either. And should you dare to share emotions of anger, depression, or frustration with them ... they may simply penalize you by walking away to abandon you, demeaning you to put you out of control and them in control with a sense of power, or, not acknowledging you or your emotions and raising their volume in order to drive you away.

If such arises, don't expect miracles.
Unless they release their blocks and build some awareness, they will likely never respond constructively.
You can ask to meet and talk at a later time when both of you are less upset. You can write statements describing your feelings and expressing your concerns, but, be careful, Oral Characters with their diminished emotional sensitivity and expressiveness may see you as "weak" for your feelings and your awareness of them.

A personal brief, going back.

The truth is very humbling, and, very empowering.
Because of birthing difficulties, I acquired Oral Character energy blocks.
For the first 37 years of my life, I forged ahead being nice and doing selflessly for others.
The acknowledgement of others was shyly refused, rationally minimized, or insecurely avoided.
There was little cultural awareness of assertiveness to that point and other blocks which I had against anger and violence left me to take a passive stance when others mistreated me. I worked compulsively for "rewards," and hard, to work off the anger and depression which hung in the background. There were times of joy, achievement, happiness, laughter --- but never enough. There was always something missing, something not attained, something not good enough.

My will for approval and acceptance drove me to the top of one career after another.
My obsession with technically making my wife happy, my customers happy, my friends happy, my neighbors happy, my relatives happy ... eventually drove me close to a nervous breakdown. Everyone else mattered except me! And, when I was down, it seemed as though no one cared. And since I had always been the strong silent person, no one believed that I needed help. And, perhaps in the past, when they had offered help, I had refused. Since I never asked for help and was shamed to receive it, this is likely.

I had a choice:
Fail by trying to satisfy everyone else --- which was impossible, for each had different and sometimes opposing demands on my time, resources, and energies --- OR, take responsibility for My life, find out what I wanted, make that a primary consideration, and fit the expectations of others in as they were relevant. Accept myself, take control of my life, accept that some people would reject and disapprove of me, and, that others would like me for who I was, not what I had or what I could do for them.

I chose success.
I had enough of failure, I was ready to risk for success.
So began my long struggle to prepare for a mature adult "genital stage" of living.
Eventually, pushing myself in that direction enabled me to develop the skills and acquire the information necessary to put together the Higher-Self Energy Block release therapy and to release the Oral Character block pattern from myself. Once you have Grown beyond the infantile Oral Character, you never want to give up the fuller, more dynamic, more contented, more sharing lifestyle of the mature adult.

Change, not on my life!

The Long Path?
Even after the block pattern has been released through Balancing Therapy or some other means, the mature adult pattern of behavior and perception must be Grown into. Awareness must be allowed and encouraged to develop. This takes risk, courage, and patience --- something infants do not have. The Oral Character blocked person seeks to buy everything, interact from a distance. They will buy tapes, videos, movies, books, seminars, courses. Intellectually they will know more but have little means of integrating it and little ability to utilize it.

A lot of effort can be wasted learning about possibilities which one's blocks will prevent one from doing.
That can produce depression, shame, and guilt ... and throw one back on one's lack of positive self-esteem. Do your best to get rid of your energy blocks as the first priority. How fast, and if you develop traits of adult maturity, the "genital" stage of giving, receiving, and sharing --- will depend upon whether and when you grow to be all that you can be.

Oral Characters have always shut themselves off from the benefits which could make a transition to mature or "genital stage" behavior an easier progression: asking, sharing, feedback, teamwork, accepting. It is easier to condemn oneself to change only when forced: as an extension of traumatic conversion. When a failure of dramatic proportions happens, and the well worn behavior and attitude style must be acknowledged as a contributing factor, only then may the Oral Character be freed from false pride into humility and begin to reach out.

Often in utter desperation, some persons refer to this stage as feeling as if their whole identity and personality are disintegrating. The reality they discover later, is that it is the walls of the prison that have kept them from feeling the constant inner fear of disapproval and rejection which are crumbling. The inner self is growing and exposing itself to all that reality has to offer, both the negative and the positive.

The shorter path is for the person to rid themselves of their energy blocks and with determination and commitment place themselves into an environment in which they will be challenged and allowed, and encouraged to be a mature "genital stage" adult. There is no social or workplace environment suitable for this in our modern society, unless, you form a new company, institute "mature" policies of communication and behavior, grow all employees to "adulthood" through exposure to Balancing, assertiveness, meditation, sensory awareness, and trust-building exercises, seminars and classes. It is not impossible, but unlikely.

The better fast-track path is to enter a relationship with another person who already is in the mature stage, or, who is as committed to getting there as hopefully you are. As an intimate partnership, you will be tested, exercised, and rewarded on a daily basis for sharing. You will need to develop skills, as mentioned above --- skills that your Oral Character energy block layer have likely made impossible for you in the past, and difficult for you in the present to acquire. Don't be surprised if the first 3 to 6 months seems like a torture test for both of you. The biggest enemy you will each have is your own Egos, SuperEgos, and Basic Personalities. IF you both commit to following Spiritual Guidance first before either of your desires, you will have the best opportunity for success. Whether you have such access and opportunity or not, a primary commitment must be made for the benefit of "US".

" Putting others first in the service of oneself", is the hidden agenda of every person controlled by the energy blocks which dictate the Oral Character behavior. Few persons with this block layer will admit or recognize this reality but, on close observance, others know, and may come to avoid us for it. Unless we are willing to put ourselves second in the service of others, we are not ready for mature adulthood and its benefits.