In the beginning ..

A Healthy Adult begins as a Healthy Infant.
Well prepared parents who are secure within themselves, and largely energy block free, have gained an "US" focus which places the survival, security, and happiness of the family ahead of individual desires or cultural expectations. Parents of healthy adults recognize that their infant is physically helpless and requires a lot of care. They recognize that their infant has very minimal emotional experience and will express itself with the simplest of emotions until it can expand its expressiveness to more complex patterns.

Healthy parents also recognize that their infant will fare best with a consistent emotional and physical environment and they will attempt to maintain this. Such well-prepared parents are also aware that the patterns of behavior and attitude that their infant is exposed to will imprint it with behaviors considered acceptable by their dominance, and, remain free of energy blocks or build them according to the persons and environments they are exposed to and the manner in which the child is comforted at times of confusion.

A Healthy Lifestyle encourages the development of a Healthy Adult.
Anything that the infant and child are constantly exposed to becomes the "normal" for them. That perception of "normal" may include any pattern of emotional expression or physical change that occurs about them. For a healthy adult to develop, an environment in which there is variety without extremes and intensity is most positive. The infant, and later the child, learns to adapt and be flexible to the changing waves of emotional and physical temperature. It receives encouragement to cope with the inevitable disappointments and negatives and lots of opportunities to experience the positive as a result of the coping skills it acquires and is mentored to develop.

A tragedy that the Healthy Parent seeks to avoid is a turbulent environment. Decisions are made which stabilize the amount of time the parents spend with their infant and child and how often they change their residence. These will differ from family to family depending upon occupational skills and income. If a job promotion must be bypassed, it is. If a smaller house than one would like must be coped with, it is.

Time is taken and planning is used to carefully select caregivers who will work with the child on a longer-term basis. Of course, grandparents and other relatives are a given but, they also must attune themselves to the standards of the parents. Failure to do this results in their infrequent exposure to their grandchild or other association.

The parents recognize the value and danger of consistency.
They create and revise their child-rearing practices together and respond in harmony. They keep the positive practices of their parents and replace the negative ones while being open to learning and developing new practices which keeps them growing towards being the best that they can be. Whatever the child is exposed to with greater intensity and with greater frequency, that it will take to be normal and acceptable. A healthy parent's choice is not to allow their son or daughter to be encouraged with destructive loser tactics, attitudes and behaviors. The lifestyle is made to fit the income, not the reverse. The lifestyle is targeted for quality of experience for all members.

Childrearing practices are supportive.
The infant is accepted as largely helpless and time is taken to cuddle it and stimulate its physical, mental, and emotional development through constant touching. Attention is given to the cues which the infant displays which indicate when it is ready to begin asserting its independence with the associated need for standards, rewards, and discipline. It will benefit from learning about its boundaries, by coping with disappointments, by enjoying successes, by taking responsibility for its actions and feelings, and by learning to express itself though the honesty and directness of responsible assertiveness --- all mirrored in its parents and other caregivers.

This pattern of lifestyle and childrearing is unfortunately unique apart from most industrialized countries. Energy blocked-parents and materialistic-based cultures do not promote it. We see the result of such loss in endless numbers of broken and unhappy relationships, homes, an obsession with the physical and material levels of life and high incidences of depression, anxiety, intolerance, routine, and apathy.

A healthier and happier development and lifestyle is possible. The requirements are awareness, such as that provided here, opportunity by getting rid of energy blocks, and choice with determination and a willingness to learn and practice more constructive patterns of perceiving and interacting. You can lead a horse to water but it will be his or her choice whether any of the life-giving fluid is taken in.

Reality, both subjective and objective.

Subjectivity is the only reality which the infant knows. As a healthy infant grows, in a healthy environment, it adds to its awareness and perception the views expressed by other people. To the extent that many others share these externally valued and expressed perceptions, cultures call them "objective". Eventually, a healthy adult will acknowledge that they have an individual point-of-view which fits their experiences and their choices and options, and, that some major and many minor viewpoints of influence are also expressed and potentially valid for others.

A great amount of choice is available for a healthy infant and with it coping skills must be developed in order to work with the huge amounts of information which will become available. As the person grows, physically and mentally and emotionally, he or she is prompted to make decisions as to what is desired, or interesting, or important, or valued by them. Sometimes errors are made as acknowledged by a negative result which defeats one's intentions or goals, results in a destructive outcome, or makes an experience or result less beneficial and more frustrating.

In a positive surrounding, such errors are taken as a normal way of learning and the outcome is remembered for a later time when such a memory may help in choosing a more relevant solution in a similar circumstance. Working with and past disappointments is encouraged and rewarded. The past is not enshrined but worked with to help fashion the future through decisions in the present. Success is acknowledged as learning from one's errors.

Growing beyond the infantile stage of sexual development finds the person expanding their infantile "receiving only" stage to the adult (giving, receiving, and taking) genital stage. As abilities expand, so also must one's degree of self-discipline and one's flexibility of communications. Interaction with others becomes more possible and more beneficial than the previous singular desire to survive by taking in food, attention, sensation. Emotional expression broadens as the experiences of the individual increase, and, in a healthy environment, the child is encouraged to express itself in positive terms and its emotions are acknowledged.

Never are they told that they should not have emotions or that the emotions they are feeling they do not have. Adult development demands an ability to go beyond oneself and share the realities of others which we will not always like, agree with, or tolerate. Yet, the genital stage developed adult recognizes that each individual is unique and that variety allows for the potential of constructive interaction with great variations of background experiences, current opportunities, and prospective futures.

The Key: Giving, Receiving, and Sharing.

The core to understanding a healthy character style is its strength in perceiving, communicating and interacting. Having received adequate love as an infant, it is not love obsessed. A normal desire has not been turned into a compulsive need. With an inner security of self-acceptance and acknowledgement from others around it, a healthy adult can easily choose to take those risks involved in honestly and straight-forwardly interacting with others.

Building on its errors and disappointments of the past, which it learned to cope with constructively through mentoring and support, it possesses a confidence of experience that something beneficial can often arise from errors. With this attitude, risk is a minor consideration with the weight of decision resting only on the potential benefits with the known weaknesses, revealed through past errors, being accounted for, or, on a choice of accessing and following Spiritual Guidance, if one has developed the skills required.

Conversion of potential to success is a positive expectation of a healthy adult. The Reptilian brain core, unhampered by the restrictiveness of energy blocks, raises few defences to a consideration of new directions and options. The focus is on resolution rather than on defence. A sense of inner security enables a healthy adult to earn trust and give trust based upon honesty and caring expressed through openness, consistency, and carry through. There is an humble acknowledgement that input from persons who are somewhat knowledgeable on the issue at hand is likely to expand the number or potentially successful decisions for consideration as well as obtain feedback about what kinds of difficulties or weaknesses may attend a selection thereby enabling their exclusion from the beginning.

It takes greater time to request and utilize feedback than to go-it-alone. Going it alone frequently results in having to perform the function or re-develop or re-deploy something many times with lost effort and resources. Utilizing feedback expands one's experience-based knowledge with the reward frequently resulting in time saved by the decision proving out correctly the first time with minimum use of effort and resources.

This ability to give, take and receive in mature relationships and communication results in an acknowledgement of and respect for the rights, feelings, opinions --- identity, of everyone else. This is often expressed as true humility and empathy. These may be expressed in ways including providing and receiving sincere compliments as well as criticisms.

With the focus on truth and honesty rather than on approval and acceptance, a bond of trust is built between such adults which provides for acceptance even when differences must yield disapproval. A valid indication of healthy adulthood is demonstrated when the individual can concentrate on how better to improve themselves rather than how to defend themselves from improving.

For the healthy individual, an acceptance of their compliment, their feelings, their love, and their opinions --- is, acceptance and respect. If a person receiving a compliment or a criticism shares respect for the individual giving it, or even love, this respect can only grow and become stronger and result in a stronger positive self-esteem forged of self-awareness connected to the social realities around them.

The healthy shame of criticism and rejection exclude the unhealthy toxic varieties of shame which include blaming, gossip, and victimizing. Other healthy adult persons are attracted to such an individual while infantile stage adults are repelled by their own tendencies to project and to exaggerate the meanings of the words and actions of the more developed healthier adult.

Personality strengths/weaknesses.

The Basic Personality of every person is framed by major traits.
Those traits will dominate the life of that person. In the infantile stage of development, they are crude and forceful. Progression to the more mature genital stage adult will require a self-disciplining of those characteristics so that they can be effectively and efficiently applied in social environments and result in positive outcomes.

Major personality traits are described and categorized by different authors according to separate lists of names. Allen F. Harrison and Robert M. Branson write in their "Styles of Thinking" about 5 major Thinking Styles: Analyst, Idealist, Pragmatist, Realist, Synthesist. Some astrologers have referred to a list that includes Locomotive (Problem Solving), Bundle (Specialist), Bowl (Self-Contained), Bucket (Achievement), See-Saw (Consideration), Splay (Individualist). There may be other listings and each list of categories may be able to equate to the others. The important factor to note here is that there are a variety of dominant character focusing traits and that these are not endless.

A positive progression from infantile to adult development will result in a basic and crude form of character expression becoming more flexible by the incorporation of social skills and self-awareness so that the traits can be optimally shared with others as well as extending one's own confidence and effectiveness. A healthy adult is one who has expanded their dominant traits to a point of inner security such that self-awareness limits doubt and self-sufficiency enhances one's self-esteem.

A person who can fully look after themselves and who is fully aware of and expressive of their emotions tends to build a reserve of such energies supported by their joy of activity and accomplishment. It is from this reserve that they can freely offer assistance and support to others without expectation of reimbursement. This "overflowing" of behavior is a true indication of genital stage mature adult development.

The Individualist (Splay) or Pragmatist dominant trait is expressed in the infantile stage of development much as we would expect in the behavior of a 2-year old who is always exploring, challenging, and stretching their boundaries --- being obstinate and strong-willed --- being "difficult" in the eyes of some parents. In the infantile stage, every dominant trait is at a point of weakness.

To become strong, it must grow with the person and be supported by a range of experiences and a toolbox of skills which allow for its constructive and efficient application. In the elementary stage, the individualist is strongly insecure within. It hugs itself, afraid to reach out, afraid that by reaching out it will give up part of itself ... and become weaker and less than it is.

Progression to the more mature genital stage of adulthood requires a person in the infantile stage interact with others, the boundaries of the "Me + Mom" person become transformed into the "I and Mother" combination. With acceptance and rejection, experience and feedback, interaction and solitude, depression and joy, grief and hope --- the person develops the ability for love.

It maximizes its input in order to strengthen its fragile self, encouraged by the benefits of love: acceptance, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, encouragement, security, trust. These are the keys to love that an infant looks for and grows with, express each of the factors mentioned above in order to create love within themselves. With this awareness and these skills, one becomes able to both offer and receive love and maintain a relationship in which love is shared.

A transition stage of individualistic expression will often be required to enable the infantile person to proceed to the more expansive, more free genital stage healthy adult. Having satisfactorily expressed and having been accepted as an individual at a very young stage, the infant progresses through a stage in which they fully express their Ego, find their personal desires, feelings, fears, anxieties, limitations. Options, choices, and opportunities are revealed to their perception through the risk of personal experience.

There are many directions to choose from.
There are many skills to learn. There is much to be acknowledged in oneself and in others. Step by step and error by error, the infant grows by acknowledgement, reflection, feedback, disappointment, and elation of success. One foot is lightly stepping from the past while one is lightly stepping into the future. There is a calm and self-directed assurance of action in the present. So many opportunities! So little time! Excitement abounds on a daily basis, even hourly.

Stability within oneself.

"I am finding who I am and my place in the world!"
Change for a healthy adult is not difficult for its has been rewarded from an early stage for making improvements and advancements beyond its errors. A healthy adult carefully assesses the practical and personal value of its purchases. Relevancy is primary for wasted resources eventually equal wasted time and effort together with needless disappointment and lost opportunities.

Attachment to the physical is in accord with present worth for a healthy adult lives in the present. Resources found useful and enjoyable in the past but no longer of benefit are reallocated by sale, sharing, charity, or disposal. Resources believed to be useful for the future are planned for and worked towards with their acquisition being deferred until the time of usefulness, appreciation, or unusual opportunity is close or has arrived.

Adding, exchanging, giving away, and discarding provide a dynamic quality to the lifestyle of a healthy adult. Diplomas, titles of authority, money, houses, cars, material possessions, gadgets, acquaintances, lovers, causes, trips, memoirs --- are cherished for their present value. And because the present is ongoing and links the past to the future, there is a continuum of experience which grows and intensifies the quality of one's experience with each of these. Often, the individual will grow in their appreciation of quality of experience and relationships to bypass the more infantile stage of quantity purchasing, possessing, and taking.

The longer-term behaviors of healthy "genital" stage adults continue to grow and change as the individual constantly strives for improvement, balance, and contentment. Acting out this goal for the person of positive self-esteem brings increasing inner security, self-acceptance, and self-confidence in their ever strengthening and expanding future. Success is often considered on the basis of how fully one interacts with others and their surroundings rather than how little the interaction and how much there is to show for oneself. Infantile stage adults advertise the success they desire. Genital stage adults live success.

The inwardly secure person has accepted themselves as fallible human beings capable of change and improvement. They work best at what gives them and others pleasure rather than working at what brings pleasure to others but displeasure to oneself. They are a benefit to any team for they work with openness, honesty, accountability, and sharing. But, all of this requires risk, courage, and determination --- and these only prove their worth over time.

Waiting, delays, and durations are part of the vocabulary of a healthy adult, along with schedules, deadlines, urgencies, timeliness, and immediacy. It knows that some achievements depend on the input, support and choices of others. Those forms of support are powerful but must come together over the time required to build trust and confidence. Thus, the mature adult recognizes that the more self-sufficient aspects of their desires can most dependably and immediately be served by themselves, while also recognizing that more extensive and powerful wants can be best an outcome of time, group effort, and commitment.

Feedback and input is sought and evaluated for time and resources saved can extend the potential for success and the degree of benefit of the proposed activity or project. Neither Rome, nor any other city, was built in a day, yet, I can cook myself a nutritious and delicious meal in 10 minutes.

Reality and Consistency.

A healthy adult brings joy to themselves and others.
Finding joy in all that they do and choosing to do what they do with a sense of positive expectation, healthy stage adults radiate their calm, contentment, pleasure, and, enthusiasm to those around them who can acknowledge these qualities. Acknowledging their own feelings of depression and sadness, with sensitivity and caution --- enable their positive expression of life to radiate their inner security.

Aware of the real weaknesses, faults, and difficulties attached to many potential opportunities, they can adjust, remedy, diminish, or exclude these potentially devastating influences and can clearly determine success. A healthy adult acknowledge and copes with weaknesses. An infantile retarded adult denies weaknesses and loses opportunities. There can never be equality between infant stage and genital stage adults for one denies self-responsibility and self-direction while the other is proactive about both.

Acknowledging and working with the feelings, perceptions, and the expertise of others, the decisions of the healthy stage adult are founded on a collective experience and expansive awareness. The potential for best-of-the-best decisions is high with the potential for shortfalls and failures low. As the present expands into the future genital stage healthy adults, leaders or managers will stabilize and strengthen their marriage, preserve their army, motivate their workers, and profit their company.

Intentions are carried through to positive outcomes.
Genital stage healthy adults utilize their great communication skills and their ability to positively interact with other positive people to enable wide-ranging benefits to groups and to society. Not attracted to or motivated by a need for power, position, or authority --- they will often be found holding a range of positions, each according to the benefit of their Basic Personality and resources. They will shy away from causes, revolts, and conflicts while taking an active role in promoting freedom and equality for the individual. Due to their attitudes and lifestyle, they will often be flexible and intelligent enough to focus their energies for self-sufficiency and the common good. Their efforts will benefit many but seldom will you hear their names.

Minimized exposure to the general population, which is energy-blocked and committed to status-quo ideals and materialism, is often part of the chosen lifestyle of the healthy stage adult. This allows them to maximize their spiritual energies and balance their emotional and intellectual energies. While such jobs exist in many industries, they cannot be categorized by title. A job by title in one company may have entirely different spiritual overtones in another company. Over a period of years, the same job within the same company may radically change in its applicability for a healthy adult.

A healthy adult seeks to do their job with effort relevant to the benefits and one of the benefits is doing what one is Guided to do and/or what one finds joy in, many may be found in professional or semi-professional positions in the service and healthcare fields. Few will be found in industry. Many will find flex-time hours, job-sharing, permanent part-time positions, working from home, and contract styles of working favorable. Wherever they are, they will exhibit a measure of independence, enthusiasm, and teamwork placed into balance.

Adaptability, flexibility, relevancy.

Flexibility and self-discipline in the expression of one's emotions translates into relaxed fulfillment of desires for a healthy adult. Emotions are expressed and perceived clearly with little avenue for misunderstanding and feedback and sharing further eliminate the potential for negative outcomes. Consistency of positive interaction leads to an expectation of the positive and an increasing bond of trust.

Together, this expectation of a positive future built on one's shared communication and a willingness for both parties to be humble enough to focus on growth and improvement rather than on protecting one's weaknesses and insecurities provides an environment in which joint growth can keep the individuals pacing together and provide them with the confidence and hope to cope with disasters and potential traumatic experiences when such arise.

Radiating from inner security, a healthy adult is courageous and self-aware enough to acknowledge their feelings and beliefs and express them directly to others. There are no interaction "games" of indirectness and role segregation by gender, age, or instituted authority. For the healthy adult, equality is not only a norm but a requirement for interacting with others.

It is a frustration for them to interact with energy-blocked persons for the latter skirt issues, speak deceptively of what was intended rather than of what took place, use irrelevant statements, gossip, and threaten to imply acceptance or exclusion, and, project their own insecurities and feelings onto those they are interacting with. For a healthy adult, such indirectness is not only a waste of time and energy, it is manipulative and dishonest. A healthy adult shuns illusion and grasps reality tightly to wring the most life from it.

Dynamic personalized responses in intimacy provide opportunity for surprise, novelty, a sense of sharing, and an expression of respect and joy. The risk of such variety and innovation together with the mutual satisfaction of the parties involved continues to prove the value of the healthy adult relationship by its constant provision of joy and ecstasy. Times of sadness, anger, frustration, and regret serve to highlight the more positive experiences, and, by their constructive use, make the positive increasingly more frequent.

What is developing here?

A strong emotional connection by way of sharing.
A truly mature ("genital stage") adult, finding a relationship threatened, will truthfully speak of their feelings and outline the options for resolution which they perceive. They ask for feedback and imply and expect that other parties may be able to suggest other options not yet considered as well as acknowledging the benefits and disadvantages of what they have already brought to the table.

Anger is defused, frustration is alleviated, and the commitment demonstrated by both parties in their striving to maintain the best of relationships rather than the best for themselves as individuals --- leads to a strengthening of the commitment safeguarding the relationship. Each knows what they are freely receiving and willing to give and each respects the others desires and abilities with each providing encouragement for the other to participate in harmony.

Truly passionate positive emotions, for a healthy adult translate into a capacity for real commitment, which requires demonstrated honesty, compassion, and forgiveness. These traits are expressed honestly for they are applied regardless of risk of disapproval, shame, or guilt. In fact, most of the time, a person who stands strongly behind these values risks opposition. Yet honest acceptance is also often the outcome and it is that diamond which makes sincerity worth the effort.

It is emphasized here that this joy is never intended by a healthy adult as a consequence of their actions. Rather, by choosing their involvement and their forms of interaction out of joy, with an expectation of sharing joy, the result can seldom be anything less than the great joy of combined love.

Together, the relationship becomes one of daily expression of emotional fullness and eternal hope for both. The absence of energy blocks enables the healthy responses which promote excellent communication and strong commitment which form a foundation for the excitement, challenge, and fulfillment of a quality experience of living ... a total experience of disappointments lessened through sharing and joys and successes expanded through sharing.

You always get more than you see!

Physical response is no indicator of genuine adult "genital" love. A woman and a man may equally masturbate to orgasm with all of their natural lubricants and fluids flowing so such being present is no indicator of anything more than need, capability, visualization, and stimulation. For a healthy adult, love is shared, not made to happen. Each individual through sensual self-awareness, feedback, and empathy --- find joy through the intimate knowledge that their giving is being received and enjoyed by another. While the infant rejoices in receiving and the Oral Character blocked person rejoices in giving, a healthy adult rejoices in giving and receiving in a dynamic mixture of sharing. The healthy adult desires intimacy without compulsion or obsession.

The healthy "genital stage" adult has little attachment to technique. For he or she, their focus is on "sharing" love. You cannot share nothing. The healthy adult first is self-aware and knows what pleasures them and how as well as what does not. They know that they deserve love and they desire love. They freely offer love without expecting anything in return.

They have learned to take pleasure from giving pleasure. It is another step higher for them if someone freely and willingly wants to share their own love with he or she. And, with increased joy, the healthy adult receives love from their partner even as their partner is receiving love from them.

This interaction of sensing the wants of the other person, requesting and accepting their feedback, responding, and finding pleasure in one's own participation as well as in the pleasuring of the other enhances the physical, expands the emotional and stimulates the spiritual appreciation of the persons involved. The "heart" of the persons so involved is expressed in their awareness of themselves and their partner. What you get is more than the eye can see. There is deep feelings which join the two identities together in trust for and reverence of one another.

I ask, listen, learn, and share.

"Open and wise" defines the typical genital stage adult.
They will often request extensive detail and feedback from those who ask for their advice. By their own experience and self-awareness, they know that small details can dramatically change the relevancy of an option. They know, again from experience or feedback from others, that all opportunities, challenges, and decisions hold negatives as well as positives and if someone is only focusing on the positives or the negatives the resulting expectation is likely to be inappropriate.

They know that relevancy, the fit of the best solution for a particular individual for a desired outcome is more important than any amount of time, energy, or resources devoted to an unsuitable solution. You cannot make something work which never could work. You can make something fail that could have worked if you overlook important ingredients through single-minded obstinacy, lack of feedback, lack of experience, denial, or indecision. A healthy adult is focused on winning.

A clear motivation enables a healthy adult to inspire the participation and confidence of others. Intentions are open and freely shared. They invite feedback with a willingness to acknowledge, negotiate, and improve. Valid criticism is seriously considered and often utilized, with humility. Disapproval is comfortably attached to the strategies, tactics, designs, or plans under review.

There is an assumed partnership quality of working through to find the best solution rather than a striving to maintain authority or supremacy. A healthy adult takes responsibility for their actions and beliefs. They are not slaves to the ideals of others, nor the rules and regulations of institutions. They will be aware of and respect those patterns of choice. They will choose according to personal relevancy for a constructive outcome which accounts for their abilities, resources, and commitments.

"Listening is an art, if done effectively, for it demands that one integrate the words spoken with the tone of voice and the gestures. Then, one must go beyond the present and maintain a linkage with other known statements which have led up to the ever expanding present. To this, one must search for patterns of knowledge and personal experience which may add meaning to our extend the meaning of what has been and was is being said. With all of this focused awareness, one must determine when the most appropriate time has arrived to test and determine if what one thinks one has heard, as per personal interpretation, is aligned with the meaning which the speaker is attempting to convey.

At that point, a question of clarification, a statement of acknowledgement, or, an exclamation of approval or disapproval is made to signal one's respect for and attention to the speaker. Acting too early shows insincerity. Acting too late demonstrates disrespect. The art is in the choosing of the timing. The nature of that optimal timing varies from individual speaker to speaker, from statement to statement, and in accord to the stress loads of the environment.

A healthy adult employs listening and feedback to maintain the optimum of knowledge transfer between two or more persons. Questions are asked to broaden the picture and the potential for other options not yet spoken of. Advice is largely offered as it is requested and is relevant to the resources of the person in need.

How does one respond?
When a person is confused and desperate, it is natural to look to others for help.
One is often led to expect, in an authority structured society, that the person who acts like an expert is an expert. Confidence is 9/10ths of trust after all. The genital stage healthy adult recognizes first of all that he or she, while wanting and willing to assist, may be unsuited or insufficient for the task, yet, is willing to risk humbly for the benefit of the person seeking clarity.

The healthy adult is assertive and will often preface their input by taking responsibility for their participation. They may note that what they are adding to the conversation is their personal opinion based on knowledge gained by through their experience, second hand directly from others, or, that contained in references. They may often assert that the person who is now listening to them is in no way obligated to follow their suggestions. This approach acknowledges the freedom of the other person to make valid choices and take responsibility for themselves, and, one's respect for them. The healthy adult expresses true, selfless caring: "heart".

Wisdom is knowing when to listen, when to ask questions, when to discuss, when to describe, and, doing so.

I will when I enjoy and am ready.

A response to love is the development of a healthy adult.
Such persons are relaxed and flexible in their independence and their degree of interaction. Depending upon the maturity of those around them, they may be acknowledged and respected for their strengths, or, shunned and feared by those who feel threatened by their calm and inner security. A healthy adult volunteers and commits to action from an inner desire based on self-awareness of one's strengths, interests, and resources. There is an inner certainty of joy within the outcome and of completion in the offer. Decisions are made without anxiety or fear and take little deliberation.

Committing to values is a characteristic of a healthy adult.
Tolerance and flexibility towards others while confidence to one's own beliefs enables a healthy adult to preserve their individuality without being threatened by and without threatening the individuality of others. Social standards and abstract ideals are accepted for what they really are: representations of generally accepted illusions of what is expected would be adopted within an intellectualized perfect social structure. There is often little "heart" and little tolerance for individuality of skills, experience, or resources within such confines. A healthy adult will be very aware of these dynamics and variations and in an appreciation of them will recognize that the greatest values of all for peace, harmony and happiness are those of freedom and equality.

Self-directedness dominates the decisions and attitudes a healthy adult. Before all others, a healthy adult will strive to discipline himself or herself ... always looking for ways in which to maintain one's spiritual and one's positive coping skills as well as practicing and improving such skills for ever increasing strength. Secure and focused within oneself, the healthy adult can then take a firm position in support of those activities and those choices which by their timeliness and application are relevant to the display of and encouragement of attitudes and behaviors of freedom and equality in and towards others.

There is a constant dynamic in such a direction for what may be timely today may be inappropriate tomorrow. The application and carry through of similar programs are often different enough that on close examination one proves abusive of the rights of others while the other encourages values while respecting the rights of those involved. There are few simplistic decisions here, only relevant ones. One must often have the courage to stand alone and for that even one's enemies come to respect your strength and conviction. Respect is the first step in constructive and persuasive communication and from that beginning adversaries can sometimes develop into strong supporters.

Leadership is a form of service for a healthy adult.
There is an acceptance that others are transferring their power and choice to you on their confidence that you have the skills and will find the knowledge required to best direct developments for the maximum benefit of the whole. Such responsibility is taken keenly and selflessly by the healthy adult manager who also recognizes that each of his or her supporters must do their part and must accept and fulfil their responsibilities if success is to be attained.

Leadership is regarded as a team effort in which those agreeing to be led acknowledge freely the performance and character of the leader as their best alternative to anarchy. The healthy adult leader demands honesty and openness, and, returns honesty and openness. Requests and assignments are thoughtfully given with some allowance for feedback. There are few orders and demands made here for such demonstrate a lack of confidence, sharing, and respect between a follower and a manager.

I feel all of my emotions!

Acknowledging one's negative emotions takes inner security and courage. With a deeply internalized sense of belonging ( I am OK and am valued), and, a desire for acceptance and approval (love me) tempered by one's own sense of self and definition of values, there is always humility to acknowledge one's wrongs and ask for forgiveness as well as the pride to acknowledge ones achievements. There are no best intentions. There are best efforts built on planning, cooperation, and the recognition that even as others have choice and all knowledge is not known, the potential requirement for adjustments and change along the path must be anticipated rather than denied or ignored.

Recognition and memory of one's negative emotions provides a form of self-awareness feedback for a healthy adult to gain clarity about personal insecurities, personal weaknesses, abuses received from others, abuses directed towards others by others, and occurrences in which one's energies have been strained too far in one or other direction. This awareness is required if the healthy adult is to live a vibrant and interactive life with exposure to the negative energies of others as well as the insufficiencies which make every human less than perfect.

It is humility and reverence plus a positive determination to bring contentment to oneself and others which enables a healthy adult to face feelings of hate, vengeance, anger, rage, grief, sadness, depression ... and convert them through choices of action and inaction into feelings of empathy, forgiveness, relief, joy, hope, and love. We are not born with this range of expression nor these strategies for self-renewal. Our progression from an infantile stage of development to one of a healthy adult is a challenge for ourselves, our family, our culture ... to encourage within us the inner security necessary to risk error and rejection in order to reap benefits we can only often imagine before we experience them.

The strongest foundation on which these strides can be taken is a belief in a benevolent all-powerful creative and maintaining identity existing everywhere around us which wants for us a life of fulfillment and contentment if we choose to learn to work in balance with it rather than for ourselves or for others. The path is easiest for those who have faith in such a God-force and that is most easily acquired from the behaviors and attitudes of parents, caregivers, and friends who mirror this belief through their behaviors.

What you believe in is mirrored by your actions for all to see. Ultimately, personal experience of Spiritually Guided and Spiritually given benefits translates into the strongest of faiths. The secret of reaching that source of ever available joy is taking the risk to be humble, reverent, self-managed, and a willingness to ask --- what God wants for you, rather than what you want for yourself. Reverence is an emotion. We most clearly and strongly experience those emotions we choose to acknowledge and practice and in accord with the frequency and duration of those practices.

Their positives keep challenging your negatives!
A healthy adult is a spiritually and positive-centered person who concentrates on what options you and they have rather than what options you or they have lost. They are a listening ear that can provide acknowledgement and feedback ... someone who respects themselves and you!

Truth = Consistency.

Wanting and getting what becomes positive inspires confidence.
A healthy adult wants love and has learned to love themselves and the life force of the universe which is within them and all life. They have an attitude of openness and expectant trust towards and in others. They are aware that there are many others in the world who are cruel, emotionally deadened, self-centered, deceptive, manipulative, and harsh.

Yet, their awareness also includes the realization that until you make contact with someone, interact with them, and demonstrate your own worth through openness and trust, there is little encouragement for others to express the same back to you, and, you will not know who actually will. A healthy adult knows that there is risk of disappointment in such an expression of love. They also experience tremendous joy when they encounter gems capable of expressing the love they have for such leads to sharing and sharing is the greatest form of human acceptance and respect.

Truth sharing establishes trust between healthy adults. Trust encourages the continuation of interactions and greater sharing. Truth acknowledges the real person complete with their prejudices, weaknesses, misunderstandings, and needs. The open sharing of these, when accompanied by a humility to respect and hear and provide feedback --- provides an opportunity for the conversion of prejudices into empathy, weaknesses into strengths, misunderstandings into clarity, and needs into self-sufficiencies and desires. The real person with no pretenses, also contributes the more direct positives of acknowledgement, approval, and acceptance.

Honesty yields consistency for regardless of the time of day, the season or the year, what you are wearing, or how much money you have, or who the remark is being made to about you ... a statement once made remain the same. There is no wasted time or effort and no confusion attached to the truth. Judgements change only as your attitudes and behaviors change for the truth is relevant only according to the time at which it is defined. This stability and relevancy both encourages consistency of behavior, consistent reward, consistent encouragement, and consistent hope.

With truth, friendships and relationships have an opportunity to grow, remain stable, become stronger, and become supportive through the best and the worst of experiences. For a healthy adult, the acknowledgement of the rarity of honesty and of deep love make their goal a dream which the self-directed, self-assertive, and self-motivated individual knows they can realize through their contribution. They know never to ask of another what they are not willing to give of themselves. And, as they are prepared to give, so they will ask.

God, give me what you want for me!

Prayer is a reverent acknowledgement for the healthy adult. The words are unimportant. It is the feeling which counts. It is the reverence which one feels for a creator who has given one choice and yet is always there to Guide. It is a reverence inspired by a parent who is more concerned for the benefit which the child can bring to itself and its surroundings than for the benefit that the child can bring to the parent. Prayer, for the healthy adult is also an expression of humility for one's ignorance, shame for one's weaknesses, sorrowfulness for one's failures, grief for one's losses, joy for one's successes, thankfulness for one's opportunities, gratitude for one's forgiveness, and commitment to improvement.

Asking God what is wanted of himself/herself is a personal challenge to one's ability to manage one's identity such that one recognizes in the question that the answer may bring hardship and sorrow for often it is through pain that we learn the awareness and the skills needed to improve our spiritual strength. This is a prayer of acknowledging to God our sense of oneness with all humanity and the universe, of accepting that our actions and inaction influence the greater whole, of the equal treatment and opportunity for each before God, of facing challenges which we can resolve, but are not obligated to. Each chooses their speed and receives their benefits accordingly.

The matured "adult", prays with humility, accepting to put oneself second and accepting responsibility for one's errors, reverence to acknowledge the wonder of God which provides opportunities to help others to a better life, and faith to demonstrate commitment to the reward to be granted which will bring all life into greater harmony. This is a plea and an expectation of coming together, of contributing to the whole, of giving, not to receive, but, because one knows that one is already receiving and will continue to receive ... as long as one asks, and, accepts.

Knowledge developers who share.

Competent workers and participants typify healthy adult personalities. They work equally well independently or as part of a team. They will not take any position which they are not prepared to master or for which they do not have the abilities or interest to succeed well in. Once involved, they will be sincere, enthusiastic, open, honest, and willing to negotiate best ways of carrying out their assigned duties. Their feedback will always provide a means for early detection of potential problems so that these may be minimized or eliminated.

They will demand the authority to match their responsibilities. They will support others who ask for assistance. They will often offer suggestions for improvements in the operation or structure of the company or its activities without expectation of reward. They will tend to bring an added sense of calm and confidence to the environment they are in unless they are frustrated in their efficiencies by a lack of support from other personnel.

Where a non-spiritual environment is present, often in bureaucracies, the military, many industries, and many political positions, you will find few employed there and they will often be considered undependable as they place relevancy and effectiveness ahead of authoritarian command structures and adversary and competitive strategies. Unwilling to "play" the deceptive and manipulative tactics of coercion, threat, secrecy, disinformation, denial, gossip, routine, chain-of-command, and the end-justifies-the-means, there is a tendency for their honesty and openness to threaten and frustrate such power structures and encourage anarchy.

A good sense of self-discipline and self-direction enables the healthy adult to occupy positions which have longer-term completion dates with few pointers available during the work period to provide a means for easy pacing or immediate rewards. In fact, they may find immediate rewards to be somewhat distracting, frustrating, and tedious for such disrupt the flow of work and tend to reward fragmented, temporary, or routine work procedures.

Managerial, supervisory, consultive, and investigative positions will often benefit from the healthy adult's participation. There is an expectation that there may be a time in the future when their client or company, in response to market changes or incompetent direction, may have to terminate or not renew their contract without reference to their performance. Their sense of stability rests in their inner knowledge of what skills and resources they have together with their constant monitoring of their industry and the economy.

"Heart" is demonstrated in the ability of the healthy adult to take into account the personal variations applicable, in reality, involving capabilities, resources, opportunities, support, choice, and energy block influence. Such personalities contribute greatly to interactions in which heart, wisdom, quality, spiritualism, and humility dominate: healing, parenting, partnerships, intimacy.

Sensitivity and sensuality.

For any degree of sensitivity, one must have trust.
One finds credibility in another person, and therefrom listens to them. There is an assumption that you can trust them? You reveal your weaknesses that you want to improve and strengthen to a healthy adult as you have confidence that they will use this intimate information to assist you. With trust, any interactivity is personalized into dynamic conversations of great variation in terms of length, timing, topic, and complexity: innovative, responsive, relevant, special.

A willingness to receive feedback and touch from others is important.

A sincere interest in others and an inner security is demonstrated by a genital stage healthy adult by way of receiving physical and emotional pleasure from both touching and being touched. This is a big step outward from the infantile stage retarded adult who can only give for there is little physical pleasure to themselves from the touching they provide. As such the touch which they provide to others is mechanical and cold compared to that of the more sensitive healthy adult. The infantile approach is one of initiating whereas that of the adult is one of initiating, involvement and sharing, more involvement and sharing, mutual pleasuring, and mutual contentment. The difference represents a staggering variation in degree of quality.

The healthy adult utilizes a proven strategy to maintain a high quality of experience which forgoes simple achievement.

• Access;
• Duration;
• Frequency;
• Personalization;
• Honesty & Openness.

Access is required for sensuality to be expressed.
Whether one is sensually involved in maintaining their garden or in appreciating the physical nature of their mate, one cannot touch unless one is present. The healthy adult chooses to plan for sensual experiences in our modern demanding commercialized world. He or she knows that what is not planned will often be overlaid by other requests which are made in urgency at the last moment. Planning ahead includes providing for backup at those time when one wishes to enjoy private and personal time for refreshing and rejuvenating oneself.

Without access, the garden becomes overgrown with weeds and the desired plants die. Without access, a positive experiences of a relationship diminish and negative emotions are encouraged to develop. Misunderstandings, lack of acknowledgement, and demonstrated lack of attraction can easily grow from short absences to longer ones, until, the individuals in the relationship find sensual expression and appreciation in other locations or through other avenues. The healthy adult enjoys sensual expression and recognizes its manifold health benefits. They maintain a balance of sensual expression such that desire is met and prevented from developing into the negatives of need or apathy. Equality ensures respect.

Duration of experience is required for sensual experience to be expressed in a quality manner. Either too long or too short a duration can be damaging. A gardener who tends to his plants once in a season never develops the awareness nor knowledge of his or her plants so as to nurture them through health and growth to maturity. too much time in the garden may result in the soil being turned, agitated, and broken so often that the plant becomes insecure and weak and susceptible to being broken and dying. Overwatering the plants may lead to their rotting.

Underwatering can result in a plant dying of imposed drought. They may become broken from lack of support or smothered from too much restriction. Pests may rob the plant of its nutrients and cause it to be distracted into building scars and defences rather than being allowed and encouraged to grow. The forceful application of too much fertilizer or insecticide may result in the roots or leaves of the plant being burned and withering. Without a balance of interaction between the gardener and the plant, both lose an opportunity for a long quality experience and finish with disappointment and discouragement.

Duration of sensual experience with a mate, for a healthy adult, likewise demands a balance of interaction which proves satisfactory for both. Too short an experience will deny the potential for personalization, feedback, adequate stimulation, focused pleasuring, resolution and relaxation. Anything made more brief than the fulfillment of these steps indicates a lack of respect for the other person and a lack of appreciation for sensual expression itself. Durations become too long when practices become routine or compulsive for these indicate a lack of fulfillment from one or both parties and a concentration on the needs of one rather than on the pleasuring of both. Constancy increases one's sense of stability and security.

Frequency of sensual experience is an indication to the other parties concerned of the degree of importance placed on this form of sharing, on the degree of attraction between the parties, and the degree of desire to give, receive and share this form of love. A skill only improves with practice. If the practice is not maintained the awareness and practice of the skill become more and more awkward and less and less pleasurable and effective.

As an art form, whether tending a garden, providing a massage, or painting a picture ... the less often one engages in the activity, the less often one exercises ones own creativity and sensual expression. The further one separates oneself from this form of perception, stimulation, and involvement ... the less aware and appreciative one becomes until the activity is set aside altogether. Lack of frequency has resulted in a diminishing of the enjoyment gained until the potential for enjoyment has become an effort and a sacrifice. For a healthy adult, sensual interaction is engaged in on a frequent basis in order to maintain one's creative energies and to expand one's positive emotional and physical expression of life: hope is a belief in things to come.

Personalization of sensual experience enhances a healthy adult sensual expressiveness. A skill becomes an art when each participation in the experience is personalized for the audience or for the recipient of the effort. Experiencing in a favorable way the benefits of interacting with others can take any form similar to and including discussion, shared planning, teamwork, partnership, adult sexuality. Adult love involves shared "touching" with the focus on the other AND on oneself.

The block-free adult enjoys the "touch" of touching and is pleasured by what one is doing while also sensing deeply the responses of the person they are sharing with. The adult likes to caress and hold, and hug. Individual differences exist as well as daily and hourly differences in sensitivity and preference. For a healthy adult, every experience is looked upon as a new experience growing forward from the previous ... new discoveries, old appreciations, current creative expression: joy is a celebration of sharing!

Honesty and Openness of sensual experience bring relevancy and newness to the participants. Shared sensual experience, for the healthy adult is something not to be tinged with guilt or shame. The healthy adult acknowledges that they are a person worthy of sensual expression which is as normal and necessary to the infant as food itself. Each participant is open and direct about what forms of touch and which areas touched are more pleasant and less.

There is no expectation for the other person to have to uncover some shameful secret or that by partaking in pleasure there must be some wrong involved which is worthy of guilt. Rather, healthy adults freely communicate to one another what forms and variations of sensual expression pleasure them and as to when there are changes in the selection of these options. Each participant seeks to provide the best experience for both with the recognition that this can only be possible if each recognizes the desires and dislikes of the other and communicates their own openly: sharing is an expansion of the possibilities available to each of two to endless variety.

Love and pleasure are wanted, accepted, responded to, shared, and provided.

Doors: some open, some ajar, some closed, none locked!

Self-awareness and an empathy for others is accelerated by the movement of the infantile stage person into the genital stage healthy adult. Knowing yourself develop easily and without anxiety or fear if those near you accept your emotions and mentor your positive expression of them. Encouraged to adopt expressive and communication forms which provide one with the freedom of expression and experience within the self-discipline encouraged by the feedback of others, an infant grows to accept and allow for the desires and expressions of others.

Through interacting, the infant quickly learns what brings pain and joy both to him- or herself and to others also. Even as it has been mentored, so it comes to be able to mentor others. It confidently relays the acknowledgement and acceptance it has received to others, who, in turn, respond back in kind. This dynamic of recirculating feedback provide an optimal advancement of awareness, communication skills, and an ability to deal with both the pleasant and the unpleasant reality surrounding them.

A healthy adult luxuriates in interacting with others who understand a spiritual perspective and have few energy blocks. One is secure within oneself to withstand the ego and superego challenges of others who are different. Being secure within themselves, rejection and approval are coped with often. Growth, freedom, contentment become the rewards of a self with limits which are continually being tested and extended. "Ask and you will receive" is the mantra of a healthy adult.

And, asking often, many opportunities will come to the healthy adult --- sometimes disguised by the individual's Ego or SuperEgo as challenges. The healthy adult continues to receive love from those around him or her because they acknowledge the offer and the presence of love from others. Love grows where it is expressed and accepted. Love invites one to experience the world and invites the world to be experienced.

Through one's openness, interaction with others, self-directedness, positive self-esteem, self-awareness, and positive expectation --- the healthy adult finds doors open to him or her, finds that others unlock doors for them, find that they can help others unlock doors, receives invitations to enter, and have the option to close doors for privacy and meditation. Few doors stay locked to the healthy adult, especially if they have access to, ask for, and choose to follow Spiritual Guidance.

Offers and few promises.

Healthy adults offer to help or to provide whenever they recognize a situation which they determine would support their values, would benefit in potential success from their contribution, and whenever they have the time or financial or material resources to spare. They acknowledge that cultural practices have changed over the past decades and that a toxic dynamic has arisen in which persons in need feel compelled to ask for a loan instead of the charity which they really need.

There is usually little likelihood that such a "loan" will be repaid. Often, the loan is for a small amount of money, but, small amounts given and taken often tend to add up. Each time the recipient breaks their promise of return, their self-esteem lowers and their worsening image of themselves weakens their spirit with guilt. Soon, they may be asking for a loan without the least intention of repaying it. Healthy adults seek to break this spiritual degrading pattern by freely offering what can be given and refusing to make small loans.

Unsuspecting persons may give something they cannot afford to do without in the longer-term. When the recipient delays in reimbursing the lender, then avoids or ignores the lender, frustration and anger rise into view for a commitment has been broken. Healthy adults know the score in our North American culture: Give what you can do without and don't expect it back. Don't arrange small informal personal loans. Just give them the money and wish them well, or, give them nothing.

Promises have also fallen in value through widespread misuse.
So common has the misuse become in North America that some speakers warn against using the word "promise" for they believe that person who do use it are clearly being deceptive and have no intent whatever in honoring their words. A lack of endemic unassertiveness and Oral Character development has prompted many people to respond to a request for assistance with a promise of help, to quieten the person asking in a polite manner. Energy blocked persons fail to be able to acknowledge the reality that promising a needy person assistance and then abandoning them is far worse than being honest and rejecting their request outright for lack of resources or personal choice.

When they can assist, they rightfully mention that they will try .... They acknowledge their lack of control over the future and over the choices of others while fully intending to complete the task volunteered for --- as they have many times in the past. Others may not like their use of the word "try" as seminar leaders have warned their audiences also of its misuse and usual lack of positive meaning. Healthy adults, free of energy blocks, get the job done, if it is possible.

The joy of the present and the hopefulness for the future which a Healthy Adult experiences leaves sadness and depressiveness in the past.. The present constantly fills the majority of the person's consciousness. "Now" is reality. Something pleasurable is being built now upon the millions of experiences which they have had.

Healthy shame is spread thinly.
What can I improve to avoid that mistake next time?
I must make better plans so I can get more accomplished.
I wish I could offer more and do more.
I am not as sharing as I would like to be.
I should thank others more often for their assistance.
I would have less problems if I ....

The Healthy Adult builds on their inner security to acknowledge their own weaknesses and by taking responsibility for them develops a motivation that encourages them from within to improve with a reward of greater self-acceptance. Internal judgements, pacing, and honesty urge one ever onward to greater successes.

Reward comes always to the person with inner security for they represent a motivating force and it is that force which determines the degree of success and the relevancy of the effort. Healthy adults recognize that there is no so-called logical cause-effect success without great persistence coming from within oneself. They know that they alone may not be able to bring all of their efforts to fruition and they also know that they can ask others for help, and that their help will sometimes be the little extra that was required for success.

Rewards and Losses.

Worlds are unfolding for the mature adult.
The Healthy Adult individual recognizes that there are potentially thousands of influences which may contribute to the outcome of any personal effort. One's choice of activity and involvement also grows out of a large number of interests, values and awareness which the genital stage adult has come to automatically consider through their lifestyle. How do they feel? Is the timing optimal? Does it fit their personal structure of values? Do they have an interest in it? Does it need to be done? Are they prepared? How does it fit in with other priorities?

What other options are there?
Is one rested enough? How long will it take? What do others want? Is there an urgency? Are the resources available? --- and many more considerations. Having grown over many years to gradually incorporate each of these facets into the thought process, they now activate automatically and the solution comes to mind almost effortlessly. While others may be troubled, anxious, confused, or simply unaware of such considerations, the Healthy Adult forges ahead with focus and inner calm. Rewards of awareness and involvement is clarity and breadth of achievement.

Materialistically, the rewards are often slow and unpredictable for the mature adult. A mature Healthy Adult strives to keep a balance between physical, emotional, spiritual, and social life involvements. Time is planned for personal rest and enjoyment breaks interwoven with often intense work schedules and networking social appreciations. With such a wide-ranging focus, one's concentration on the materialistic and the physical is not obsessional with the result being that the Healthy Adult appears to others to be slower in accumulating material wealth. In fact, the Healthy Adult has few anxieties about material wealth, choosing to enjoy what is available in the present rather than focusing on what could be available in the future. Living largely in the present, the Healthy Adult makes Life happen rather than waiting for it to happen.

Quality of life is an obvious focus with enjoyment and contentment experienced on a daily basis rather than being deferred for later binges. It is unlikely that the Healthy Adult will periodically feel a compulsion to "get away" to the bar, the casino, the arts, the cottage, a travel holiday, an affair, a new car or boat, or a buying spree. For the Healthy Adult, such represent desires rather than needs. They can be planned for, if determined to be positive, entered into in a mode of relaxation rather than frenzy, luxuriated in, and, easily left behind with the experience well consumed. A reward of balancing one's lifestyle is a Life which is dynamic.

The healthy person expresses anger from time to time along with a full range of other emotions. A Healthy Adult is aware that there are constructive and destructive applications of all emotions. There can be a relevancy for their application. Anger can bring change to circumstances which are frustrating and abusive. Hate can bring commitment to creating widespread change away from destructive practices to ones which are more supportive. Grief can allow us to remember the goodness which we have enjoyed and allow us to package those memories with thankful reverence to support us into the future.

Anxiety can alert us to the fact that there are decisions which we should make yet are experiencing confusion about the alternatives and could benefit from more research, planning, meditation. Fear can signal to us that there is a potential for harm unless we choose to take action or avoid action, but choose we would be better to do. Anger expressed at times of relevance can be quickly resolved with an equally Healthy Adult partner or associate. With resolution and acknowledgement, the emotion quickly fades away to be replaced by relief and joy. The reward of full emotional expression is a more dynamic life.

Growth, to become whole.

Flexibility, openness, and sharing create an environment for constant learning and always expanding awareness. Such is growth from the infantile stage of development to the genital stage to beyond.

Energy blocks are carried and increasingly added to much of humanity through poor coping skills in an environment which we continually complicate and in a materialistic community in which abusiveness has been tolerated for centuries. The most dramatic step one can make for their greater freedom away from the fogging and obsessional addictive attitudes and behaviors mandated by energy blocks is to release such blocks. The Higher Self Guided system of Balancing described on this site is not the only way to release blocks, just the most effective way.

Motivation is one of the best and cheapest ways of assisting oneself to make the effort to grow into a happier and more contented life and lifestyle. For motivation, you need to know where you have been and where you would like to go. The clearer your focus and goal, the easier the journey will be. Take an hour and write down on a piece of paper a summary of your life to date.

What have you done?
When and for how long were you involved?
How did others benefit?
How did you benefit?
What did you learn?
What have your strengths been?
What have your weaknesses been?
What are your losses and gains?
What have others done for you?
What would you do differently?

Take a second sheet of paper and write down a summary of what you believe life could be for you. Remember, the outline of the Healthy Adult described here is a possibility for anyone who wants to walk the walk, talk the talk, and, live the life. All it requires is commitment from a person who believes that they are worth the effort, that God is gracious and loving, and that with a little help from others --- they can grow through learning to increase their awareness and skills --- to become a professional at living life to its fullest. Choose your future carefully. It requires your participation in the present and your continual determination to grow and blossom. It is all a matter of choices. Your Choices!

Compliments!
The truth can free others from bad habits, inadequate skills, and, reward them for their achievements. People can only improve themselves and their environment if they are aware of options. Sometimes, you may see their options more clearly than they do. A helpful suggestion may change their life or improve their day. It will be their choice to benefit from the opportunity or to carry forward as they always have and get what they have always got. If we all help one another, we all move forward faster than we can by ourselves.

Every day we meet someone who is doing their job in an exemplary way, who show us respect, who do something special for us, whose very presence may bring us joy. You can either show your appreciation by acknowledging them or you can deny them with your apathy. Denial discourages. Acknowledgement encourages. Show you care. Provide others with joy. Their joy may lead to more involvement which can lead to more joy .... You can either be a catalyst to making the world better, you can be a sponge --- always absorbing and never giving back, or, you can be a fire --- always giving where you are not wanted. The world you face tomorrow will be the world you have helped to create today.

Ask for what you want, Respect others, Decline what you dislike.
Be assertive! Stand up for your right to have and express your own feelings.

Change, for more life!

The Path!
Growing to be the best that you can be takes risk, courage, and patience.
It requires honest and open interaction with others and with yourself.
Intellectual humility enables you to expand your awareness.
Integrating and an ability to utilize your skills takes practice.
Awareness of reality brings depression, shame, and guilt ---
--- but it also provides an opportunity for joy, pride, and contentment ---
--- positive self-esteem and minimized effort for maximized achievement ---
--- optimized living.

A Healthy Adult has ideally always been encouraged and have chosen to involve themselves in the world around them. That involvement has given them the benefits which could make a transition to mature or "genital stage" behavior an easier progression: asking, sharing, feedback, teamwork, accepting.

Becoming an erotic stage healthy adult may require exposure to Balancing, assertiveness, meditation, sensory awareness, and trust-building exercises, seminars and classes. The inner self must grow and expose itself to all that reality has to offer, both the negative and the positive.

Staying a healthy adult is easiest if one enters a relationship with another person who already is in the mature stage, or, who is as committed to getting there as hopefully you are. As an intimate partnership, you will be tested, exercised, and rewarded on a daily basis for sharing. The biggest enemy you will each have is your own Ego, SuperEgo, and Basic Personality. IF you both commit to following Spiritual Guidance first before either of your desires, you will have the best opportunity for success. Whether you have such access and opportunity or not, a primary commitment must be made for the benefit of "US".