Top INDEX
• Truth means ...
• Truth changes Elitism into Abuse.
• Truth changes Self-Hatred into Vengeance.
• Truth changes Violence into Reverence.
• Truth changes Fear into Courage.
• Truth changes Ignorance into Strength.
• Truth changes Weakness into Persistence.
• Truth changes Deception into Reality.
• Truth changes Past & Future into Now.
• Truth changes Satanic into Spiritual.

• -Focus-: Monographs on Toxins and Enhancers.

Truth means ... INDEX

TRUTH ...
There is what people want to hear,
There is what people want to believe,
There is everything else.
Then, there is the Truth.

The Truth means Responsibility,
Which is why everyone dreads it!

Truth changes Elitism into Abuse. INDEX

I was 8 years old and going to public school when a life changing event happened.
A brother and sister, Siska and Sasha, were from a northern European family who farmed in the "flats" north of the school.
They were several years older than myself and Beverly Musselwhite who they invited to join them in some secretive play.
Somehow we came together and like many small children we were happy to be welcomed by others into a play group.
It was after school and Siska and Sasha took the lead in our walking down the road towards the homes of Bev and I.
At one point Siska suggested that we go into the end of a hedge row, about half way to my place.
He seemed to be aware that the enlarged round end of the hedge, next to the road, would be hollow inside.

Once inside the tiny, likely 5 foot diameter space, Siska said he and his sister had seen their parents having fun.
Many children want to mirror their parents in some behavior or activity as a means of being "grown up".
Children, in many cultures, and certainly then, in the early 1950s, had less freedoms, less respect, than adults.
Siska described how they had seen their parent press their pubic areas together in happiness.
It was a seemingly "adult" activity as the parents had done it in expected privacy, spied by the children.

So we partially striped and in more embarrassment than anything else, laughed as we pressed our groins together.
Siska and Sasha took the lead and automatically choose each other partly by their larger size and familiarity.
That left Beverly and myself to try and mirror them. It was the first time they had tried this mirror of their parents.
With all of the laughter, the woman who lived on the farm whose hedge ran down her lane to the road heard us.
Next we heard her shouting from a distance, wanting to know what we were doing in her hedge.
We emerged in a panic doing up our trousers, as none of us had been naked.

We ran off our separate ways with the panic that we had been discovered on private property.
But the woman projected from what she had seen that there was much more to our activities than the reality.
Likely by the next day, my parents were cautioned that we had been caught doing ???
Like a wildfire burning through the dry brush of a sexually repressed and bored neighbourhood, drama became excitement.
Soon everyone who was an adult or teenager had heard that we had been having "sex". Within a short while, it seemed as if everyone in the nearby village of Queensville knew the story. No one ever asked either of the 4 of us what we had been doing. Assumptions were made. Verdicts were levied.

I enjoyed reading. My parents had an encyclopedia collection and there was a tiny library in Queensville.
I, by my Basic Personality, have always been drawn to the Spiritual. I was intently reading through the Bible at the time.
I had completed most of the Old Testament. I had no adult mentors or coaches to discuss anything with, including the Bible.
A young teenage boy approached me on the street in Queensville and eagerly questioned with great awe if I was the boy who had experienced "sex". I was shocked and appalled by such an accusation. His question pushed him into my classification of a "bad" boy. I liked girls and saw no difference at that age between a friend who was a girl and one who was a boy ... though boys tended to be more competitive than sharing. When I was later attracted to a girl because we shared the same intellectual interests, a neighbourhood boy, who was jealous and wanted to be viewed by the girl as smart and protective, whispered something in her ear. From then forward, she shunned me. Taking this bit of fact from my neighbour, she shared it with some of her girlfriends. Near the same time, as we were getting off the school bus one afternoon, he taunted me with some reference to the "act".

I eventually picked up the meaning of the veiled accusations and assumptions which everyone seemed to know about.
Having read in Deuteronomy that persons who had sex, unmarried, were to be executed, I determined that as a committed Christian, I was to be executed. And, as an even better Christian, since no one else was making an effort to execute me, I must do it myself. First, I hated myself for having had "sex". Then I tried suicide with a knife to the chest. But God held me back and I could not plunge the knife. Now, I hated myself the next few years because I was a coward. My hate for myself was as intense and growing as the intensity of my Old Testament belief.

Truth changes Self-Hatred into Vengeance. INDEX

As had become my pattern of response to intense fears, I determined in my early teens to find out more about this thing termed "sex". I had already ordered a self-study course on SCUBA diving, by mail, and had also ordered self defense manuals and became a book club and magazine subscriber. In a Popular Mechanics magazine was an ad for a book "The Encyclopedia of Sex". I ordered it. I discovered that "sex" was a normal human function, not a satanic aberration. It was what enabled the conception of and birth of children. Most revealing was the fact that "sexual intercourse" was required for what had been termed "sex" then and for a long time since. Sexual intercourse required the male to have an erection. When Siska, Sasha, Bev and I had played at being adults, neither of us boys was yet capable of an erection. That would occur for the first time, for me, about 3 years or more later. None of us had experienced sexual intercourse! So, all of this time, we had been socially sentenced to a crime we could not have done. I had attempted suicide because of such a verdict. I had HATED myself for years because of the innuendos and accusations levied by supposed friends, neighbours, peers, and strangers to protect others from me and to Exclude me.

All these years of self-hate now became reversed.
The much later movie "First Blood" portrays the emotional sense I felt.
But I didn't hold vengeance against just ONE person who had abused me.
I wanted to destroy Queensville and everyone in it, and more.
I researched through large dictionaries and encyclopedias for references to explosives ... which invariably included their chemical formula. I purchased books by mail which outlined spy-terrorist tactics and how to make a silencer, from Paladin Press. I had self-defense sheets which detailed how to kill another person with any of 10 targeted punches. I had hated guns previously and even cried when I was given a 22 caliber rifle for my birthday. Now, I cherished guns and weapons. All of this was internally shocking to my Spiritual side.

Truth changes Violence into Reverence. INDEX

My Spiritual side won.
I would SAVE the town and community from my hatred.
I would use some of the information I had gathered to kill myself.
I did not want to disturb anyone else with my suicide so making a silencer for my rifle seemed to be the perfect solution.
I devised a silencer. One night when everyone was away from home, I took the rifle with silencer attached outside.
It was to be a simple, straight-forward, near silent termination. I decided to test the silencer so I shot in the direction of the farm forest. I had not completed the construction in a best way. The shot rang out like a tank canon might sound with the noise echoing back from the bush. Well, this was not going to be OK. It would wake or disturb the neighbours. So, plans postponed. What had not been a concern earlier was that the side door I had left the house by was self-locking and had locked behind me. No way back into the house! I had to get back into the house before the family came home and put away my rifle. The kitchen window seemed to be the best option. Yet, it was strongly glued shut with many layers of paint. With a great amount of energy I managed to force the window open and enter and shut it before being discovered.

I would later regard this as another protection from God because of what happened next.
Immediately, ALL of my desire for vengeance and hatred towards the community and others disappeared.
I had no further thoughts of suicide connected with the community wide abuse I had been exposed to.
It is likely a significant part of the unconscious attitude that encouraged my choices to move away and take a non-farming job.
I was safer in the surroundings of strangers, foreigners, and non-relatives. It certainly contributed to my NEVER dating anyone from this home community and my first three marriages being to non-Canadians (Scottish, Armenian, Guyanese).

These "community" reactions, as you can read, can cause an immense amount of suffering.
They are a human species tendency. "Religious" persons often remember selectively what they want to believe and conveniently forget or rationalize away what they don't want to be held responsible for. Authority structures encourage cultures to treat humans as if they were gods ... unquestioned and revered. Even until today, though with much less intensity, few individuals will question the statements and conclusions of their doctor, minister, priest, politician, bureaucrat, history books, written reports, medical test results, or, personal errors. The reverence for human leaders has pushed God behind the curtain as someone to drag out when we are frustrated with what WE have created and rescue us from the problems and conflicts WE have forced into existence.

In Genesis, the human species abandons God for Satan. We have been Satan's children, genetically, ever since.
Major anthropology and sociological writers have declared since before 1940 that the adoption of herding and agriculture was the greatest downfall of humanity. Concerns about overpopulation have been written about for more than 600 years. God gave us Choice. We still have it. Satan binds us together with Pride and potential abandonment by others. I was most fortunate. My community taught me, by their consistent abuse, that God was my greatest friend, mentor, and Authority. And, God has never abandoned me and always answered every question I have had, once I learned that I could Ask and Listen.

Truth changes Fear into Courage. INDEX

At about age 12, i was driving a tractor through the field pulling a straw rake which gathered the loose straw and turned it into a windrow leaving the stubble exposed behind and the straw easier for the baler to pick up and compress and tie into bales. I suddenly saw a 3 foot garter snake rippling through the stubble ahead in an effort to escape the approaching mechanical peril. It was the first snake I remember seeing. There was little in the cultural memory available to me at the time beyond that of snakes being dangerous, poisonous, and aggressive. The sight so horrified me that I began to hallucinate the presence of snakes amongst the real vision of the lines of stubble which appeared to me moving as I drove over and past them. Snakes seemed to be everywhere! I became so frightened that I had to leave the field for a time.

I recognized that this extreme fear was not something I could allow.
I was expected to go back into the field and continue the raking almost immediately.
It was my job. It was my responsibility. It was my only reason for living. A good defense was needed.
I needed a way to dependably kill any snake which I believed threatened me, or could threaten me.
What became my response to any future fear or confusion or anxiety took form ... research all data.

In this case, I read through and examined all the information I could access about snakes.
I borrowed every book on snakes from the local library after finding little of value in the dictionaries and encyclopedias at hand. In looking for the weaknesses of snakes and how to most efficiently kill them, I also learned of their benefits in keeping rodent and other pests to humans minimized. I learned of their sensitive areas just behind the jaws which my holding GENTLY would paralyse them. Anything of a tighter grip could permanently injure them. Most snakes in North America were NOT poisonous including none in my home area. This was the beginning of turning Fear of the Unknown and of the culturally victimized into a Respect for Reality. Part of that reality was the fact that Truth usually includes both positives and negatives for us. And, there were few lifeforms that could be considered created only for negative or destructive purposes.

Increasingly throughout my teenage and adult life, I learned that a Discernment of the destructive, normative, and positive traits and factors associated with any lifeform were important to the most efficient, effective, and overall constructive choices. I eventually learned that these variables proved to usually NOT be absolutes. Changing situations and environments and interactions demonstrated that what was most relevant as an action and choice some of the time, might be quite different under other circumstances. I developed both a Respect and Compassion for snakes. Most of the time, most of them made no effort to harm people. It was often our clumsy disturbance of them that resulted in their reactive efforts at self-defense.

In order to become confident in my interactions with snakes, I made it a necessity for me to find snakes, capture them without harming them, and to hold them strongly yet gently ... and then release them. For a short period of time, I hunted for garter snakes around the farm building foundations and anywhere else. Once caught, I knew that I could cause them great pain and permanent injury if I held their sensitive behind-the-jaws spots too tightly .... so I was very careful, and developed a sense of compassion for them. At the time, I was likely well informed about 38 North American snakes of which at least 7 were considered poisonous. Most of the poisonous species had special colorful markings or made distinctive rattler noises. And with the exception of the rattlesnake, all of the poisonous ones were in the southern USA. This was in the mid to later 1950s. By the 1960s, North Americans, especially in the USA, were importing and making pets of poisonous and "anaconda" type snakes. As the decades progressed, these pets grew and their owners became less enchanted with them. Many were released into the "wild" which often was a nearby forest or abandoned lot. Few were ever taken to a vet, a pet shop, or, killed. Today, 2018, an irreversible and uncontrollable infestation of Burmese pythons is eliminating all local wildlife from the Florida everglades.

Years later in the mid-1970's when I was building my first house, the children of a neighbour cornered a snake near the foundation of their house fireplace. They were banging at it with long-handled shovel and sticks and had quite irritated and cornered it. They were quite determined to kill it. I went to its rescue. I stopped their thrashing at it. I did my best to grab it safely by quickly running my hand up its body with the purpose of grabbing it in its weak spots. But, by this time it was super-stimulated and reacted super fast. Just short of its head, it whipped around and snagged onto the web of my hand between thumb and forefinger sinking its fangs deep. I gently took hold of it behind the jaws and forced it to withdraw its fangs and relax by calmly applying pressure. I then carried it down to the lagoon about 75 feet away and gently released it into the grass. The teenage boys were alarmed that I had stopped them killing this "poisonous" snake and that I had best get to a hospital quickly as the venom would kill me. I took my chances. I did not think that it was poisonous, but this was more a hope than a certainty. I remained calm and when I had no alarming symptoms for 30 minutes, I considered myself safe. If it had been poisonous, it had likely expended all or most of its venom attempting to defend itself before I came along.

Truth changes Ignorance into Strength. INDEX

In mid-2015 and until the end of 2016, I was given an opportunity by God, through prayer, to lessen international political conflict. "Political" indicates that it pertains to a group of people, usually organized, and often defined not only by their nationality, race, religion, profession, gender, income, or other obvious category but also according to their dominant beliefs and attitudes. Conflict arises when 2 or more groups hold attitudes and beliefs which contradict each other, or, too often ... one group holds the other responsible for their lack of equality or freedom while the other group consider their opponents as losers who want what they deservedly have. There is ALWAYS some degree of Truth to the declarations of each tribe-like group. The one has lost something significant that they had. The other believes that they have sacrificed for what they have ... which is often a factor of material wealth, and, the power to use resources to limit the members of their opponent group access to the opportunities they have "created" for themselves.

In my experience, God never offers us an opportunity unless we can do it, often bolstered by our Basic Personality strengths which God gifted us at birth. Those strengths orient us towards certain kinds of interests, issues, skills, and experiences. If we CHOOSE to extend and integrate those aspects of learning we can increase our ability for awareness, discernment, and utilization. While there are not an infinite selection of Strengths, there is an infinite personalization of those given to us and how and what we Choose to concentrate on, and that our community provides us access and encouragement, or, ridicule and abandonment from. Every Strength is mirrored by a Weakness. A person, from my tuition, can be given from 1 to 7 Strengths. The potential activity and involvement of these will further depend upon the relative strength of one's Identity Factors (Ego, SuperEgo, Reptilian Structure, Personal Spirit, Basic Personality). I have provided an overview of these elsewhere. One may have strong, weak, or moderate characteristics for any one, several, or all Identity Factors. God would like us to do our Best with what we have, both within us, and, around us. More is not required. In my experience, doing my Best with the constant mentoring and feedback of God has enabled me to live longer, help more people, and learn more than I could ever rationally hope for.

I have always had a wide set of overlapping interests.
Discovery (being OPEN to new or different information and experiences) rather than Exploration (SEARCHING for something you want to find) has always been a dominant tactic for me. Typically, my peers, and often my neighbourhood, had no interest in my selected topics. Pre-teen and through my teens I read the Bible, intensively, 3 times. In my teens, I added many classical spiritual texts including the Koran, Bhagavad Gita, Confucius, Mencius Ko, Taoist writings, Buddhist ethics, and others. To these, I added commentaries and in-depth analyses of many Old and New Testament "books." Several times, in my teens and twenties, it was suggested to me, usually by ministers, that I become a minister. I would go on in my late teens to attend 12 churches in an outpost community to gain a better understanding of their differences. In my early adult life I became a member of 3 Protestant congregations: United Church, Unitarian, Mormon, Latter Day Saints. In each, I intensively became involved in the study and discussion of the principle worship manuals they used. My understanding of the Message of Jesus Christ was that we be TOLERANT of others. That requires empathy. You cannot have empathy if you have no similar experience and are ignorant, or worse, misinformed, about those who profess differences.

At the same time, I studied and took home study course in Ju Jitsu, Karate, Aikido, kick boxing, and other self-defense routines. There were no in person courses available at the time anywhere within my limited economic and transportation reach ... and not likely even across Canada. For a time, the interest of a fellow teen from a nearby village, Bill Welman, came to practice Ju Jitsu with me on the back lawn. He later expressed his great thanks for the opportunity after he joined the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police). He invited me to join the force. During my late teens, I intensely studied long barrel guns, hunting techniques (including tracking and least pain killing of game), survival in challenging environments, spy driven sabotage scenarios. I felt threatened, unconsciously. And I was with a whole community victimizing me from malicious and untrue gossip.

Geography became my top interest and high marks subject throughout High School with History a close second sometimes.
Excellent teachers made a significant difference. Mrs Stewart had lived through much of the history she described to us. Maria Bajnocy had travelled widely and could convey why locations of resources and industries were important to economies and survival. In my early 20s and 30s, for hobby interest, I studied about 20 American aboriginal nations, tribes, and bands. I felt strongly that I could understand their beliefs and practices. Understanding never meant "supporting." It was an opportunity to see positives and negatives in many areas of human endeavour. I was attracted to 8 languages but without classes to participate in and native speakers to practice with, interest was as far as it went. I volunteered one winter to teach English to immigrants working in Thompson, a Northern Manitoba mining town. I read extensively in the subjects of Anthropology, Sociology, and Psychology ... all areas I further studied at university after working in business services for 12 years.

From my "people" challenges in my birth community, together with extensive Customer Service training and effective work, added to by the clients I worked with over a 25 year period with the Balancing Therapy I founded (with God's help and direction), I could be empathic with almost anyone. Empathy, in my experience, is a primary step in reducing or resolving CONFLICT. Now, God gave me many specific directions daily on which nations and locations to focus on, the history of the people there, the political and commercial influence of armaments availability, and, the regional experiences and sources of group abuses, violence, and dynamics with human authorities. Typically, two major "tribes" emerged. They were intolerant, reactive, revengeful, proud ... the legacy of much satanic "religious" and political teaching together with historical messages of gossip. Patterns of interaction emerged that cemented Conflict and sabotaged Peaceful, respectful, community membership.

A veiled description of one of the "events" that I was able to influence will mirror all of them.
Through an awareness of Non-Violent Communication protocols, I knew that powerful groups imposing power (restrictions, violence, torture) on their opponents, and, victimized groups imposing reactionary, personal rage-driven destruction of the representatives of the Authoritarian led populace (often against easier civilian targets than direct government representatives) predictably led to greater and greater military and police presence and restriction in the host society, and, larger and larger "defense" budgets. No one every seemed to work DIRECTLY with the reactionary and rebellious forces, who, by God's direction, were the only ones capable of change. The political leaders, policing, and military were almost always uniformly highly Intolerant. Like an authoritarian parent taking action in a circumstance of life-and-death risk, one's son or daughter obeyed immediately and fully, or, they were beaten physically or emotionally to threaten their being abandoned, disowned, or, worse.

In this particular African country, the original inhabitants had followed a necessarily itinerant herding lifestyle.
For centuries or millennia, they had freely traversed large distances in order to take their herds from one ample feeding area to another while allowing grazed areas to recover before revisiting. Within the past 150 years, Europeans, displaced by overpopulation and/or looking for greater freedom of choice and greater possibility for economic betterment, had INVADED the region. They began setting up towns in support of commerce and introduced intensive farming. Crops are NEVER secure from theft and vandalism from wild animals, wandering herds, or, band organized humans. These kinds of itinerant herdsman respect their environment and cannot imagine that anyone could "own" nature. Fences went up. Traditional pathways to resources were severed. Fences and crops were precious to the farmers and urbanites, and, imprisonment to the herders. Violence ensued from ignorance and pride on both sides.

Inevitably, individuals, and even families, were murdered on both sides of the fencing.
With population growth of the urban and farming areas, political representation was needed to solve "community" problems.
The urban and farming adults were given "citizenship", land ownership, received services of infrastructure and protection in exchange for taxes, and a VOTE on policies instituted by the government. As to be expected, all of the laws favored the urbanites and farmers. The herders did not OWN anything, purchased from the leadership of the "Invaders", did not profess allegiance to "foreign" rulers, did not trade in currencies (that could be used to pay taxes), and, were incensed that they should be expected to give up their heritage in favor of this "un-natural" disrespect for land and individual. When it came to more recent times (2015), the children and teenagers of the herding community had been raised on stories of how their grandparents and tribal members had been murdered, their herds slaughtered, their friends threatened and beaten, and, how technology had been used to entrap them with hidden explosives, bomb them from planes, and excluded from their traditional self-sufficiency use of the lands. of course, the more times that these stories were told on each side of the fence, the more they tended to be dramatized with embellishments, and the more the next generation were imprinted with HATRED and intolerance for their enemy.

Enter an armaments marketer, largely, in this case, selling weapons for American and Israeli companies.
It could just as easily have been one or more companies from ANY of the former federal republics of the Soviet Union, China, Pakistan, any of the European nations, including Scandinavia, and any of a number of South American nations. Sometimes, the "Suppliers" worked with the sanction, and even encouragement of their host country. At other times, they sold arms illegally to countries or 'terrorist" groups declared "off-limits" by their host country. And, sometimes, they sold arms to "off-limits" groups with their host nation quietly mentoring them as to how to get around the restrictions. First, there is a higher than average profit markup on armaments than most other economic products. Second, there is always repeat sales. One requires more and more bullets and missiles for practice, even in "peacetime." Thirdly, one is usually selling to countries of rebel groups who are poor on cash, so there is DEBT. A sale can bring a profit of millions, or, tens of millions of dollars. Plus, who will sell you parts and ammunition for those weapons. And then, if you, as the purchaser, OWE them monies, they can "request" that you make certain political policy decisions which may not be BEST for the citizens.

What happens if you lustfully NEED to generate business? Isn't that the ethic of "competition?"
One strategy is to take an undercurrent of conflict and stoke it from embers into coals and then into a wildfire.
As the armaments supplier, and/or, manufacturer, you send in "undercover' agents. These persons encourage the rebellious youth to take a desperate stand. Their heritage group has been victimized for generations. They are being denied a participation in the government which sets laws they must obey to avoid further victimization by penalty or torture. You increase their frustration and anger into rage. You begin supplying arms to them and perhaps even suggesting urban targets to bomb or groups to shoot on. With the beginning of the civil violence, our hero arms dealer makes closer connections with the officers of the government. You alert them to the "possibilities" of exaggerated violent events. They need to defend themselves with armaments and the training of troops. They don't have much money. Do you have a deal for them!

The next tactic in the scenario, as an arms dealer proudly shared with me, is to create a "9-11" event with the social and political impact of the twin towers (actually 3) destruction in New York City. For the arms dealer, this is a godsend, for he (usually male) controls ALL the levers. A manipulation of the leaders of the "oppressed" facilitates their preparation for an unforgettable event. After all, for the arms dealer, 9-11 spawned a many trillion dollar market for armaments and security services, mostly used against groups of people who were civilian and innocent. And, it amplified feelings of abandonment, abuse, economic loss, and desperation in the American taxpayer into paranoia, rage, and vengeance (all satanic characteristics). It is always easiest to manipulate and lie to people who are distracted and disoriented ... and the above negative characteristics enable that.

I am contacted by someone I have assisted earlier.
They have suggested my services to the leadership of the rising and intensifying "terrorist" group.
Would I assist - counsel this group if they are interested. My prayers indicate "Yes."
So I volunteer to open communication. First, I must do my research to determine who is involved.
I find the histories mentioned above. I find the armaments dealer. I find the government officers involved.
Amazingly, I find the target for their "EVENT". If successful, it will murder as many as 4,000 civilians, more than 9-11.
My involvement is a referred anonymous offer of "Wisdom" which I know from my past experiences and from God.
I have been given technology that cannot be traced to me and I am independent so I have no human employer to satisfy.
I can be secure within myself because I have isolated myself so that I can not be threatened or extorted.
I am coping with a health condition which will see me die if I do not choose to do my daily colon flush.
And, I am working as a volunteer for God. What could be better?

In speaking with the "terrorists" I can empathize with them. I know their REAL history better than they do.
This impresses them that I actually honestly and sincerely CARE about them. I LISTEN more than I talk.
I describe the above scenario with names and places and they KNOW it is the Truth. They are shocked.
Why would the armaments dealer/company want them to impose mayhem and violence of the civilians?
Because, if the EVENT is big enough, it will cement the deal with the government for a sale 100 times larger than theirs.
Because, when you challenge a powerful, legitimated authority with violence, you give them every excuse to multiply their Aggressive efforts against your organization. Soon after the EVENT, you will be looking at civil rights absent search-and-seizure. Government agents will be trained by the armaments Host country "experts" to torture your members and their families without mercy. Yes, they are well resourced. They began by learning from the Nazi SS officers who agreed to work with them in exchange for respect and freedom versus sentencing and execution. They have perfected their manuals ever since as they provided training to Ferdinand Marcos in the Philippines, the Shah in Iran, Saddam Hussein in Iraq, American soldiers in Vietnam, Noriega in Panama .. and many others. You won't win anything except more grief for your people and more and greater sanctioned terrorism against you by the government. Why would you want that?

They agreed with my considerations. They would stop the EVENT.
But these kinds of satanically stimulated groups of YOUNG misinformed men are easy to motivate and almost impossible to educate. The plans have been made, The weapons are in play. The target is chosen: the largest shopping plaza in the capital. Do the leaders have control of their "fanatics"? Partly. Time is running out. Electronic communication is limited. How big a garden hose do you need to stop a wildfire? They make their best effort. Out of a volunteer force of about 80 fighters, they are able to PAUSE and restrain all but 16. The freight-train of rage is coming into the "station". If there were more time, the leaders might have even gave the word for these "Committed" troops to be executed by their comrades. But there is not. They go ahead. In addition to all of the terrorists being killed, about 65 civilians are murdered. It is a splash but not a slaughter. And when the government officers hear my story, indirectly, they back out of the arms deal that would have forever indebted their nation. Maybe 3 thousand lives were saved. Every life is important. And, the leaders of the rebels are now much wiser and better prepared for a more peaceful and negotiated outcome. Sometimes, in order to be heard, one does not have to disrespect others and focus on negatives.

Of course, there is a potential threat to me.
No dealer wants to lose an 80 million dollar sale with repeat purchases.
No armaments manufacturer wants to slow their product line and have lower annual sales figures.
Few government politicians in countries with major armaments production corporations want to post lower GDP figures.
Some will even sell the soul of their countrymen for the BIG deal they have made.
Christ didn't lie to save himself. He asked God what was Best that He could do, and he stayed with it.
How many Christians really LIVE their faith instead of picking and choosing how little or much they will Respect that they did NOT Ask their God about?

Truth changes Weakness into Persistence. INDEX

In my mid-teens, I wanted to make monies to enable me to afford some adult and self-sufficiency items including clothing. Working on the farm, my parents could only offer $50 per month with room and board for full-time summer months. This was an improvement over the 25 cents per week I was given as an allowance in my pre-teen years, and above the 50 cents and $1 per week that I later lobbied for ... but not enough if I were ever going to afford a degree of independence. By referral and suggestion I applied to work during a summer for a paving company, Miller Paving. That summer, they had a major roadbuilding project in the region north of the town/city of Ajax. The construction camp was located in what became more familiar as the east Markham area. The camp consisted of a number of mobile homes for families and more permanent employees, a wash-house of communal showers and toilets, a portable office, and, a number of portable bunkhouses for temporary workers. The bunkhouses typically included two levels of bunks down each side of the "trailer". There might be 8 or 10 men per trailer. The office assigned you to a trailer and there were no changes.

The bunkhouse I was assigned to had a fellow in his late teens or early twenties as one of the sleepers.
He had a car and often drove some of us to the work area daily. Beforehand, we typically ate breakfast at a preferred restaurant on the way, bought a package lunch, and had supper at the same restaurant. To save money, I purchased some dried food items and took those along for my daily lunch. The young fellow noted, often spoke crudely, from my innocent perspective, about sexual activity and teenage girls in the localities we worked in. His idea of a good time was to entice or persuade a local girl from a property adjacent to the road we were building to go with him to have sex in some secluded area. This attitude and behavior he considered normal. Those who were unenthusiastic to these forms of lifestyle, like myself, were considered immature, ignorant, and unfriendly. I quietly excluded myself though my face likely showed my disapproval.

What I learned more clearly later, both from exposure and from a long and consistent history of human interactions, is that persons who are intolerant, prideful, and abusive to others often see themselves as a somewhat deserving elite who should get whatever they want by aggressively pursuing it. When they encounter others who don't share their attitudes and behaviors it is almost reflexive that they become defensive. Their authority is threatened so they must make an example of the "outsider" so as to keep their peers in crowd controlled acceptance ... an example of the bully who by physical force, or, usually, the threat of same, gets others to follow along.

One late afternoon after some of us had returned to the bunkhouse, this young fellow threatened another fellow who was closer to my age. The threatened person would either fellate him on his upper bunk, or, ... any number of forceful things would happen. He was convincing enough and the victim was scared enough that he got his way. I was in my upper bunk half a trailer away. It must have been obvious from my non-verbal communication that I was NOT in favor of this and did neither respect nor fear this bully. The next day, or soon thereafter, in a similar situation in the bunkhouse, he approached me and demanded the same of me. There was no way that I was going to be "raped" and I was determined to resist to the death. He saw that I was not going to submit willingly and I suggested by my actions that I would physically defend myself by pushing myself back against the wall in my bunk and fending off any attempts to force me out.

One on one had not worked against me.
The next day, he brought an older associate with a grease gun.
Together they were going to force this disrespectful peer to accept their superiority, power, and desires.
I refused again with the same tactic of burying myself as tightly against the wall and being defiant.
Grease ended up on my sleeping bag, and I naively shamed them for dirtying the sleeping bag.
Eventually, they left.

I was now terrified.
What tactic were they going to do next?
A large hill of crushed rock (sand) had been accumulated nearby from the yard crusher.
I took my sleeping bag, went up to the top of the hill, and dug out a coffin sized hole.
Placing my sleeping bag in the bottom of the dugout, I could sleep unseen from anyone unless they came right up to me. No one else walked up there and I carefully approached it each evening and left it each morning by a non-direct route to conceal it as best as possible. Several days later, I intercepted another young fellow working at the camp who was a few years older. He also, for his own reasons, had not wanted to bunk in or overly associate with the crude clientele. He and another fellow had set up a tent in a forested area at the north end of the camp, adjacent to the housing for permanent employees. They invited me to join them. I did.

Work continued. I was not going to the bunkhouse any longer. I was "appearing" in the morning in time for a ride to the worksite. Authority figures do not like confusion nor "outsiders". Several nights later and we were attacked by three drunk persons descending on us and kicking us through the tent walls. They had noticed where one or more of us had gone and planned the attack. They wanted us to come out of the tent so they could beat us up. With the tent falling and the kicks and yells continuing, everyone had to exit. When I emerged, a fellow put himself squarely in front of me. In fear and defensiveness, I raised my hands as if to begin punching back. At that moment, terror gripped me. I had earlier educated myself in how to kill others. I had full confidence in this untried ability. I now feared that if I entered a fight with any of these attackers, I would kill them. I could not just stand there and let them beat on me. I could not fight them and kill them. So, I ran away.

This interaction became another dramatic experience demonstrating that if one possessed beliefs and attitudes that were different from the majority or those in control, one could only maintain one's different beliefs by excluding oneself from one's peers. I could either accept being raped, adopt swearing and abuse of women, accept a lifestyle of preying on others for one's own pleasures and benefits, and, reinforce these behaviors against others, or, I could exclude myself. Going home, then, usually meant hitchhiking. Eventually, after a few other continuing experiences, I hitchhiked home mid-week. The management wanted to know where I and the other two had gone and were not at work. This became a concern for the family friend who had recommended the job at the paving company to my parents.

The paving company manager had contacted my parents to see if they knew where I was.
It was several days later when I arrived home. I couldn't tell them what had happened, like many or most victims feel too ashamed and fearful to tell the truth in case of exclusion yet again, and/or, recriminations from those who had perpetrated the abuses. I never returned to the paving company. With persistence, I had maintained my ethics and religious beliefs. I was not going to be forced to do something I found so abhorrent and previously unheard of to me. And that included killing someone, or multiple persons, even in self-defense. The truth of the correctness of my beliefs gave me strength and courage.

Truth changes Deception into Reality. INDEX

If your really want to change yourself or the larger human world, or ecology ... it will only happen if you face reality ... and Reality is the Truth. It is easy to consider and obsess on what we WANT the truth to be. It is easy to accept what we want to HEAR. Both suggest that we, as individuals, are either on the Right track and have not made any errors and simply need to refine our Choices, or, that we are on the Right track and other people or forces ... perhaps even God, are acting against us. Within our North American culture built on a forgotten base of exclusion and abandonment together with a sanctioned robbery from and murder of aboriginals ... we have lost our basic self-esteem to that of elitism, pride, intolerance. Most immigrants from Europe in the early years of colonization were social rejects: abandoned children and homeless persons scrubbed off city streets and criminals offered a choice of "travel" or be executed. Such "immigrants" were almost always "dropped" into their new land with no social skills, few communication options, desperate destituteness, devoid of natural birth control and sexuality awareness, and little respect for themselves, their family members, their herd animals, neighbours, or, others. This is the 90% who never got an opportunity to write about their challenges and successes. That is largely because they had few successes, experienced much abuse, and those who were privileged to read and acquire books would not have been interested.

Myths are the stories we tell each other as part of a tribe in order to develop a sense of belonging and acceptance amongst the membership. If we share a legacy that mandates that we are SPECIAL, that will help bury the personal and cultural shame, guilt, and exclusion that permeates our past. We never take responsibility for that Past because historically that is not what homo sapiens do. Perhaps generations later we intellectually attempt to move forward from a parent's ills to forge a bond between disparate parties through forgiveness and reconciliation. It is an ethical ideal, yet so far (to 2019), the intent fails. As one example, South Africa, the social and political interactions of deception, manipulation, abuse, and conflict simply has changed hands. The abused groups of the Past have become the abusers of Now. The earlier abusers seek to bury and euphemize their participation in the Past. But the Past DID happen. Huge numbers of PERSONS were beaten, robbed, tortured, murdered ... for some rationalized expectation that if they were not us, they were our enemy. Myths enable us to make "friendly" sense of the dynamics of Conflict, Confusion, and Ignorance. It removes fear and uncertainty and humility and injects the satanic alternatives of Authority, Intolerance, Pride ... and the Elitism to decide what is best for others we know little about, and to impose our Self-Centered values of Belief.

Let's consider just 4 of dozens of known and often duplicated examples of "modern" Myths.
Common to MYTHS, as the word and concept are used here are these factors.

1. Myths are partial truths.
   They are not often total fabrications of details to support anti-truth realities.
   Often the ratio of truth to imagination and projection proves out at 10% Truth to 90% fabrication.

2. Myths rely upon authority structures for their acceptance.
   These are often our political, educational, medical, government, and religious institutions.
   Surely they would not lie to us, these human gods to whom we pass our integrity for their Acceptance of us?
   Even when these gods are proven to be liableless, cheats, and persons working AGAINST the public good and our freedom of equality ... we continue to hope that it is just the few and not the structure and the imprinted satanic beliefs that could be the weakness. So much easier to victimize the individual than to hold the authority structure responsible.

3. Myths survive by infecting all proponents of Truth with an identity of rebel, reactionary, weakness, and self before social identity. All of the characteristics of the proponent of the myth are projected upon their adversary. Rules, principles, guidelines, policies, and ethics are all subverted to Personal Inadequacy. And, if the Truth advocate is blameless, then the "authority" ... who will have more media attention and exposure and much more potential for fund raising, lobbying bribes, financial support from "polluters" ... will simply repeat their deceptions and lies often enough to IMPRINT on the listener that they are the more Powerful, and, that Power makes Correct.

4. Myths offer Drama, Excitement, Distraction to those of us who are dulled, depressed, tired, and obligated by the social entity we have either been born into, attracted to, or sold out our choice of identity to form, explore, modify, and commit to our own personal values and beliefs. Laws and regulations which impose restraint on us are often broken, bandaided, and avoided by those with the privilege of power, money, influence, and, an attitude that they are OWED, as justified by their perception of the sacrifices they have made, or, the unequal treatment they have received ... although such inequalities they freely impose on their membership, followers, adherents. If the MAJORITY of the population, in order to feel "OK-Normal", must smoke tobacco or other depressants, drink alcoholic and other stimulants, invest in risk and gambling, seek multiple interactions with others for solely physical satisfaction, make illegal "allowances" in return for personal benefits, and lustfully conceive children for social acceptance ... then we have a most unhappy basis to our society.

North American MYTHS.
Yes, other countries, races, religious communities, and "Tribes" have their own also.
They may share ours, have some form of alternative, or, elect to accept the direct opposite.

• Material luxury, a wealth of military power, and, a mythical political history signify cultural and national leadership.
  

  History, even that only not obliterated by the victors, acknowledges that almost every human political empire has proudly projected these before their failure and dissolution. This is true of the Mayan, Incan, Jewish, Roman, Portuguese, Belgian, Spanish, French, Ottoman, British, Russian, German, multiple Egyptian, multiple Chinese, and others. Being PROUD to join this list of LOSERS does not seem to be very wise.

  The USA is currently basking in this limelight to the denial that its economic "wealth" is largely underpinned by having each of its citizens be responsible, in regard to deferred taxes and national debt, for more income than they will ever make. Treated as an indebted individual, the USA would be forced into bankruptcy by the lender. Unemployment realities are constantly paraded inaccurately as those who are no longer looking for employment (given up out of despair) or have been disqualified from statistics for some other rationale (such as not being a registered voter or a legal immigrant) are Unemployed, yet NOT recognized. Suggestions are that the True figures would be double what is reported. And while promoting itself as "Democratic" it has become the global example of the FAILURE and Weakness of such a "Democracy."

  It took 30 YEARS to change a "war against Drugs" Congress mandated directed imprisonment policy, even though it was KNOWN by the 4th year that the result was to increase incarceration by 700%. With a reported 90% of its electorate favoring increased gun ownership restrictions (2018), the House of Representatives (of the people) expressed NO interest in considering such law making.

  The USA entered the Vietnam War, first by economically and militarily bolstering the French colonial government (while being approached for support by the Vietnamese Independence who revered the USA constitution to the point that it duplicated it) so that the American desire for the creation of NATO would include the French (without whom it would not have formed).

  ALL authoritarian and dictatorships are smiling in the shadow of an American "Democratic" government which cannot resolve the reality (continuously betrayed both by the responses of the President and by an increasing list of Guilty associates of the President) of holding responsible, as it would presumably do for any citizen, the MANY documented instances of illegal acts and the many THOUSANDS of Lies which its President has made. Dictators can point to their followers the Leadership of being able to make policy changes and activate them within hours or days, never years.

  NONE of the above suggests Leadership, or, anything to be Proud of and rest other's perception of one's integrity on.
  
  

• A Readiness to Destroy others is a Protection for oneself against attack.
  Noted by military officers and researchers in the Pentagon Papers, quoting from the early 1950s, killing CIVILIANS in war simply amplified your enemy numbers. Kill a family member or close friend, or respected associate and you have just made ALL of their relatives and friends into YOUR enemy. This advice has yet to be included in military policies and social imprinting, as politicians frequently pass edicts to murder any number of COLLATERAL civilians as long as one trooper falls. The exception is when you so devastate the local population that you likely murder most of the civilians who comply to this close relationship description. We humans have made a virtue of this "carpet bombing" from the beginning of WW2. First, the British 80% destroyed a number of German cities. Then the Russians murdered villages and battalions of SURRENDERED soldiers. Then Germans murdered millions of mentally ill, disabled, gypsies, Jews, and surrendered Russian and Polish soldiers (No, they were not just Jews.) Then, it became "acceptable" for the Americans to obliterate Japanese cities while the Japanese were asking for peace. And, the massacre of many Vietnamese villages by paranoid American troops was just "normal". The murder of hundreds of thousands of suspected socialist and communist sympathizers in Indonesia was politically accepted and PROMOTED as almost a national duty. No long present nationality (200+ years) is innocent of such accepted spiritual abuses ... yet most have been perpetrated by persons and governments declaring themselves to be "Christian". Christ and God would not have approved, according to the spiritual texts that speak for them.

  The reality of the less massive and more individual murdering of civilians out of a fear that they MIGHT gain majority sympathy for political change against the abuses of dictators, monopoly corporations, and torture/intelligence dominated regimes is no less a part of our CONSISTENT human history. In Uruguay, the Spanish conquistadors dispensed with the weak ideal of converting the aboriginals into colony members/slaves. They simply invited all of the aboriginals to a peace meeting, and then massacred them. No future aboriginal discontents, demands for land rights, displeasing inter-racial couplings, reactionary civil rights agitators, group sources of infectious diseases (brought by the colonists). Most other instances of authoritarian, resource hungry invaders elsewhere were piloted by leaders who considered their own culture unsurpassable in advancement. They were bringing "civilization" to the unsophisticated (self-sufficient, resource respectful). So they imposed policies intended to either invite some form of cultural participation (often religion), added to that imposed cultural replacement (as in Canada), or, discarded and imprisoned them on lands too small to afford hunting and too infertile to enable farming (reservations). Sometimes accidentally, and more intentional in modern times, infected "ambassadors" were sent into the villages of the in-our-way peoples to biologically murder up to 90% of their population. Murder is so much more "civilized" than war. In the mid-1960s and for decades after, infected missionaries were financed on their missions into Brazil's Amazonia so that commercial corporations could access the mineral resources, and, later, so that the impoverished urban Brazilian colonist/citizens could be given "free" land to farm.

  The Cold War, chiefly between the USA and the USSR, following WW2, was built on a foundation that nuclear weapons had won the War from the Japanese and that opposing political systems (Communist socialism against Fascist Capitalism) could not tolerate the presence of the other. The members of each were taught/imprinted with the belief that their Authority structures provided the best benefits for their citizens, and, the best form of Democracy. The historical reality experienced since, and increasingly revealed in documentaries and the reappearance of film and written resources is that BOTH failed to uphold their Proud ideals. Bribery, theft of government monies, money laundering, sale of armaments to "enemies" by deception, satisfaction of "big money" lobbyists against the benefit of the citizens, brain-washing of the populace through irresponsible media sanction, and, a constant barrage of character assassinations of the "enemy" populace amplified risks and encouraged conflict. Millions of citizens were placed at significant health risk to build weapons of mass destruction (nuclear weapons, poison gas canisters, biological warfare tools, missiles, sabotage). The Truth is that nuclear weapons have NEVER won a war. The war was over when the bombs were dropped on Japan. The Japanese military had advised their leaders and emperor that they had enough fuel for 3 years of war. That included the 10 square MILES of gasoline storage tanks in Manchuria that Soviet saboteurs blew up in 1942. So where do you think they were after 5 years? Destroying others, or preparing to destroy them, simply out of hate and vengeance and pride offers NO protection. It simply stimulates FEAR in the enemy so they will build more species destroying tools to use as reciprocal bully threat, like 2-year-olds fighting over who can use a particular toy.
  
  

• A bullet kills instantly.
  How fast a bullet can kill a human is dependent upon WHERE it strikes the person, WHAT it has been fired from, and if the person has significant medical care almost immediately available. Until the mid-1970s, being shot with a single bullet from either a hand gun or a long gun (rifle) was relatively safe unless a major organ was struck, and, medical aid was not available. Individuals survived WW1 with bullets lodged in their organs and even in their heart muscle, often healing with no after-effect symptoms and not realizing the presence of the bullet until many decades later it was revealed by an x-ray. Teenagers interacting within USA urban gangs sometimes presented at hospital emergency departments for the latest in as many as 8 shootings with the confidence that they had obviously recovered fully from the previous seven. If a major organ was not hit, their chances of survival and recovery were high. A New York city policeman in the early 1970s was shot in the heart, at close range with a revolver. He remained calm and used pressure to restrict blood loss. He was almost immediately taken to a hospital, and survived. That all changed in the mid-1970s.

  In response to the usual technology acceleration posed by military/armaments competition, bullets for assault rifles acquired an exponential advancement in killing power. The new design meant that the bullet twisted and spun around on impact, cutting through tissue like a hot, spinning knife blade cutting through butter. If the bullet was 2 inches long (and was often longer) and less than a 1/4 inch in diameter, it made a cavity of 2 inches in diameter. This maceration of tissue and bone made symptom-less recovery impossible. If struck in a limb and with great medical aid available, one could live by amputation. A head wound was immediate death. A torso wound in the killing field meant a death in immediate to several hours time. The tissue destruction made wound recovery nearly impossible. If you lived longer, like some Canadian and American soldiers in more recent Afghanistan conflicts, you might be transferred to the field morgue, alone, and, alive! This came to public awareness when the attending nurses complained that this was not respectful of the troopers for them to be left alone to die. Bullets were similarly fashioned for handguns, yet their performance was poor, partly because handgun accuracy becomes more inaccurate as the caliber increases, as the weapon is equipped to be repeating, and as distance from the target increases.

  Yet for all of this TRUE history, North American audiences have been, and continue to be (2018) exposed to movies and serials over the past 80 YEARS which almost NEVER waver from the shot-and-immediately-dead optimistic scenario for the shooter. American soldiers in Vietnam were shocked when their adversaries kept advancing on them at close range even after they had shot them multiple times, unlike the movie fantasies they had been imprinted with. American and Canadian soldiers were horrified in Afghanistan when they observed the physical devastation that their bullets imposed on suspected enemy who were often civilian women, children, and, men. Suicide rates amongst Westerner troopers have continued to rise, partly for this repeated shocking experience. Yes, you can die from a bullet IF you are shot with an assault rifle and significant medical help is not quickly available. People die in the shorter-term from blood loss; they die in the longer-term from sepsis (infection). All the other fantasy media shootings imprint us, perhaps intentionally, the false expectation that handguns can EASILY keep us safe from an attacker. Yet, accidental killings of family members in the USA from in residence defence against suspected invaders is annually in the tens of thousands. So, why regulate handguns or rifles?

  LINK: My Monograph on Physical Shock, including Ballistic Shock.
  
  

• Space flights to distant locations are possible for humans.
  Two giant swaths of radiation, known as the Van Allen Belts, surrounding Earth were discovered in 1958.
  James Van Allen, a physicist at the University of Iowa, discovered these radiation belts after the launch of Explorer 1, the first U.S. satellite. Very little effort was made to understand the belts until 2017, 60 years after their discovery. It was then found that the belts are constructed differently and serve to shield the Earth from TWO forms of high energy radiation (cosmic rays). Some spacecraft, are more vulnerable to destructive influence — especially when a solar storm hits. At worst, spacecraft can short out due to an electrical overload. Communications can also be disrupted. The belts are located in the inner region of Earth's magnetosphere, which extends out to over 24,000 MILES altitude. The shape of the Earth's magnetosphere is the direct result of being blasted by the solar wind. The solar wind compresses its sunward side to a distance of only 6 to 10 times the radius of the Earth. The solar wind drags out the night-side magnetosphere to possibly 1000 times Earth's radius. The radius of Earth at the equator is considered to be 3,963 miles (6,378 kilometers). Technically, one is NOT in space until they are beyond these shielding influences and most satellites cannot survive the radiation of true Space.

  Military and political aims, backed by government funded technical armaments industries have promoted the reduced, yet considerable hype of the commercial necessity, human sense of superiority, and military utility of satellite surveillance and potential human "space" travel. Solar cells, integrated circuits, and sensors can be damaged by cosmic radiation. Geomagnetic storms occasionally damage electronic components on spacecraft. Miniaturization and digitization of electronics and logic circuits have made satellites MORE vulnerable to radiation, as the total electric charge in these circuits is now small enough so as to be comparable with the charge of incoming ions. A satellite shielded by 3 mm of aluminium in an elliptic orbit (200 by 20,000 miles (320 by 32,190 km)) passing the radiation belts will receive about 2,500 rem (25 Sv) per year (for comparison, a full-body dose of 5 Sv is deadly to humans). The ISS (International Space Station) maintains an orbit with an altitude of between 330 and 435 km (205 and 270 MILES) at the very lowest and most shielded part of the geomagnetic field around the Earth.

  The "Space Industry" has garnered trillions of dollars of taxpayers funds and debt.
  Fantasy Sci-fi movies and serials imprinting their audience and the culture with imaginative possibilities for which we are totally unprepared is one avenue of expenditure. The generation of new technologies for the armaments manufacturers and for surveillance satellites has enabled us to become more aware of how we as a species are destroying our home, yet, we have done nothing adequate to reduce the devastation ... much of which is permanent. Another predictable pattern, we have talked long in conflict about accepting any degree of responsibility such that we are now past (2018) any possibility of slowing the accelerating climate and ecological changes. Yet entrepreneurs, often strong on the promotional side rather than the practical realities, accumulate and waste billions of dollars that could have long ago reduced human suffering and conflict. The myth is just one more nail we have driven into the coffin for our species.
  
  

  LINK 1: The Myth of Space Travel, for humans.

  LINK 2: Relative destructiveness of Cosmic Radiation

  LINK 3: Cosmic Rays & Human Health.

Myths distract us from the Truth with self-deceptions.
It is so much easier to deny our responsibilities and continue to play god with the satanic confidence that exchanges Pride for Humility and Disrespect for Reverence. We have learned and been taught, and teach our children ... if you ignore problems long enough they will go away or be remedied by others. There are no others. It is on par with the childish bullying we make no effort to reduce: If you tell the lie loud enough and long enough, the masses will believe it.

Truth changes Past & Future into Now. INDEX

Much of this section was recalled when I spent 10 days in a hospital in early November, 2018.
Part of the following was included in a Report which I submitted to the Lethbridge Chinook Regional Hospital later that month in an effort to offer them new insights and options towards a more effective client-centred service.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is acquired when a person has an intense experience which they are unprepared for, cannot consciously and quickly determine a preferred response for, and they feel pushed into taking an action or inaction which later may seem to be less than ideal. That is, they may be feeling desperate, life threatened, terrorized, or confused (often an experience involving physical or emotional violence or threat of) and the action taken is later questioned consciously by their sense of morality, imprinting, or, social values. For those familiar with a little of psychology theory, one cannot make a decision based upon their personal values (Ego) or social values (SuperEgo) so their Reptilian Structure (Id or Physical Survival) which takes action according to associations between elements of the Present situation and Past experiences ... imposes a solution. I learned a highly effective means of releasing these addictive/compulsive patterns of decision making decades ago, first to help myself, and then to assist hundreds of other persons. These are ADDICTIVE patterns. Conscious choice and behavior modification have little influence over the result or in reframing memories to enable change. I had released ALL of my PTSD-type Energy Blocks decades previously.

During the 1970's, I was employed for a large multinational minicomputer company as a Customer Engineer.
The work required me to drive long distances, sometimes hundreds of miles, sometimes along long stretches of expressways, to and from my customers. There, I would inspect, test, and repair their minicomputer. I took an interest in the machine operators, managers, and business owners. Often, listening to and acknowledging their current conflicts and frustrations "cured" the machine problems by resolving their internal distractions. I began having experiences of driving long distances, both during the day and at night, after which I had NO memory of the drive for dozens of miles. Once, it even happened with a trainee associate sitting in the passenger seat and me intending to point out a favoured restaurant when we passed it. My memory and consciousness were blank from about a dozen miles before the restaurant until as many after. My main concern was that I would involve others in an accident.

I ended up speaking to an Internal Medicine doctor at the Joseph Brant hospital in Burlington, Ontario.
It was early afternoon and I had stopped in for a short appointment on a Friday between a work trip and returning home.
The doctor prescribed an immediate Lumbar Puncture operation to rule out any brain tumor or problem.
Soon, I found myself in a hospital bed, first speaking with a psychiatrist, and then having a Lumbar Puncture.
I was given NO preparation for the operation; NO advisories as to how long I would be in the hospital; NO cautions as to what I could do or was best to do, or would be dangerous following the operation. No forms were signed and i was not admitted. It seemed like it would be a simple 20 minute or so test.

Following the operation, within 30 minutes, feeling a bit stiff and being an active male in my 30's, I got out of bed, did some knee bends, bent over and touched my toes a number of times, and, headed for a walk up and back down the hospital corridor. On my way back down the hall, two doctors passed me by and queried if I should be out of bed and walking? They provided no further information to place their query in perspective. A nurse came in, after an hour, and when she heard of my "exercising" she expressed concern. Her experience and knowledge was that persons who had Lumbar Puncture surgery were NOT to move for 12 hours or longer. Those who had moved anytime during that period, and sometimes longer, experienced a headache so severe that they might end up vomiting and becoming greatly distressed.

I was in a room shared with another man.
He had heard my conversation with the psychiatrist and my concern that I might endanger others in an accident.
Having survived a severe accident himself and now undergoing the latest in a long list of surgeries, he disliked my presence and apparently asked the doctors to transfer me to another room. I ended up in a two bed room by myself later on a Friday afternoon. I was given no further information as to when I was going to be allowed to leave and go home. The doctors involved quietly left for their weekend without seeing me. I was beginning to get a bad headache. Again, I was given no information on how long I was expected to remain at the hospital. I later learned that the on-duty nurse was to have given me pain medication, but, there was none available and her shift was changing ... so she left a note for the next nurse. That nurse never saw the note, nor did anyone notice it in the next 60 hours (2-1/2 days, Friday afternoon to Monday mid-morning) or so. No one checked my pulse. No one offered or brought water or food.

The magnitude of the headache escalated.
The room darkened as nightfall came. For the rest of the weekend, from Friday late afternoon until Monday mid-morning (2-1/2 days), no one queried about offering me water or food. A nurse entered the room several times during that interval, never turned the light on, and, as I remained quiet, assumed that I was sleeping. Even during the day on Saturday and Sunday, the dark drapes were drawn and the room mostly dark. Throughout that time, the severity of the headache was such that if I moved a sharp pain cut through my skull like a knife. I could not blink. I resisted taking a breath. Speaking suggested an exercise in self-torture. Even the act of swallowing resulted in a feeling of skull rending. The emergency call lanyard hung on the wall 3 feet away. Moving a millimeter resulted in pain as one might associate with the image of a needle or nail being rammed through their skull. There was no sleeping, just 60 hours (2-12 days) of constant panic of movement and repeated torturous pain. If moving my lips set off another crescendo of pain, crying out for help suggested insanity.

To gain an appreciation for what this may have been like and how well you might have coped, consider this test.
Lie down on a bed in a darkened, cool room. Instruct anyone nearby or likely to check on you to NOT disturb you.
Imagine that any movement you make, even a blink of the eye, will result in an immediate sharp pain.
Expect that such a pain will be as you might suppose it would feel like to have a 6-inch heavyweight pin driven swiftly through your skull. Then, tense every part of your body in an effort to prevent any movement. Use effort to hold your eyelids open and unmoving. Then, consider that you will have NO indication of how long this experience will last ... minutes, hours, days ....? Record how long you have been able to maintain this position, even though you do NOT have the immediate REACTION of searing pain as a constant enforcer.

Monday morning arrived.
After more than 60 hours with penetrating severe pain with every movement, no water, no food, no sleep, constant darkness and silence, no end in sight ... I was broken. I took the rotary blades from my razor (I took a razor everywhere with me as I was best to shave 2 or 3 times daily and I was often away for all or most of a day), somehow, and used all of my remaining strength in an attempt to cut my left wrist. All of my strength and my wrist seemed to be harder than steel. I barely made a mark and slightly scratched the skin. Again, somehow, and in embarrassment for my failed effort, I moved my wristwatch from my right wrist to my left to cover my attempts. Somehow, my mother had found out that I was in the hospital and had come to visit me. She noticed the wristwatch anomaly, looked, and called the doctor. I was soon transferred to the Psychiatric unit. As far as I was informed, NONE of the persons responsible for my care were ever held responsible for their part.

The hospital records will show, if anyone seriously wants to check, that for 60 hours (late Friday afternoon to mid-morning on the Monday) I was placed into a small 2-bed hospital room. Any doctor, surgeon or nurse with any experience with a patient who has had a lumbar puncture operation that went wrong (ANY movement within 8 to 12 hours after, let alone a series of calisthenic exercises within 20 minutes after)... will be able to confirm that what follows, for the patient, is extreme pain that often justifies high potency painkiller drugs. I received NO drugs of any kind. No one ever offered me food or drink or questioned if I would like any. There was NO water in the room. I never went to the bathroom. During all of this time only two nurses entered the darkened room. They never turned on a light, never asked anything, never checked my pulse or other vitals. I could have been paralyzed, in a coma, or dead and no one would know. If a light had been turned on, they would have seen that I was most tense with my eyes wide open as if experiencing terror. This was a modern hospital in an economically advanced country.

The police had noticed my car in the parking lot on Saturday and after checking the registration had called my wife.
Isobel was accustomed to my sometimes arriving home late at night from a distant customer. When I failed to show up on the Saturday, she began to worry. I had not mentioned the hospital stop to her as it was only supposed to be a short stop on my way home in mid-afternoon. The hospital staff had taken very little information from me. I had not signed any papers authorizing the surgery ... so how dangerous could it be. I had not completed any papers for contacts in times of emergency ... so no one had been contacted. Sometime on Sunday, the police figured out that I might be IN the hospital. My wife had become distraught and gone to stay with a local girlfriend as I was missing, the police had not contacted her yet, the hospital had not contacted her. Somehow, they reached my out-of-town mother before my in-town wife. My wife became even more distressed and confused when the hospital told her that I was in the psychiatric ward due to a suicide attempt! She was not told anything about the Lumbar Puncture surgery, the medical muck ups, and the long torture I had endured.

The likely TRUE impact of these defensive miscommunications by the authorities only struck me more recently (late 2018) decades after the incidents. I had, at the time, dealt with the challenges in what had proven to be the best survival tactic for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I had coped with the immediate challenges as best as possible, I had sought to become aware of my experiences and their meaning, I had recovered to normal, I had closed my consciousness and attention to the incidents. I had released the energy blocks associated with the experience that otherwise would have had me reacting to anything similar in the future with extreme and irrelevant destructive actions. While I have personally experienced a number of PTSD incidents in my life, I have never had the nightmares or reliving episodes so many others become plagued with. Others frequently fail to RESOLVE these terrorizing experiences through awareness, discernment, empathy, compassion, and relevancy, and especially energy block release ... so they carry them forward ... which both re-enacts them and increasingly intensifies them. I had dealt with these for myself. Many PTSD victims NEVER want to talk about their traumatizing experiences. To even bring them into consciousness is to relive them, and, possibly retraumatize one. No one ever approached me from family or friends and asked for clarification or offered assistance. That indicated that they were neither confused about the happenings, outcomes, or realities. But that was a lie.

The response of my wife at the time had always been confusing.
She had abandoned me. She never visited me in the hospital after learning where I was.
She never asked me about what problems I might have had to take me to the hospital or why I ended up in the psychiatric ward. She did note that she had been quite confused and distressed at the time. She had gone to stay with a girlfriend whose husband worked as a smelter furnace tender. We never talked about it. I did not want to relive it and felt that everything had been resolved. She was too confident, ashamed and embarrassed to raise it. Apparently, what my wife, Isobel, most of my relatives, and likely some persons from work were told was ... that I had come to the hospital and checked in as suicidal. Nothing about the 60 hours of torture. Nothing about my mother finding me in a bed in a solitary room on the 3rd floor surgical floor on Monday morning.

Definitely at that time, authorities were almost never questioned for their interpretations or descriptions.
They were human gods incapable of error, self-centeredness, defensiveness, and abuse. Decades later, we know now the truth is that many of these "authorities" are guilty of one or more of these acts and choices one or many times. Yes, then as now, most suicide attempts occur at home or away from a hospital. Yes, a few suicide prone individuals do go to a hospital, doctor, or therapist to ask for help with deep despairing, hopeless, depression. No one seemed to ask that IF I had gone for that purpose, why did my mother visit me on a SURGERY floor 70 hours after I had arrived. It was only AFTER her visit that I was taken to the Psychiatry ward, drugged heavily for the residual pain and exhaustion I had.

Not surprisingly, my wife and I drifted apart emotionally.
Even though neither of us had ever had an out-of-marriage close or intimate relationship, I requested a divorce when it seemed to me that she no longer had love for me. For me, with my sincere membership in a Protestant Christian church and familiar with their religious and human interpretation of sacred passages written by men dozens of years after the reality, in a language unlike English, it meant marriage for life and a divorce meant no more intimate relationships EVER. Yet, it was more emotional pain to love with someone who seemed to be emotionally separated from one than to live by oneself without the daily evidence of and reminder of apparent rejection, or, lack of caring, apathy, and indifference. It would be DECADES before my sisters heard the Truth. By then, my parents were both deceased.

And then there are the longer-term pluses for me.
It added a third pillar to why Isobel and I eventually divorced. She thought I had gone crazy and no longer could view me as her stable ROCK. I met other patients in the psychiatry ward and came to see them as PERSONS, not weak oddities.

I was placed in a room with a former Vice President of C.I.B.C. We became friends.
He showed me his local house where thieves had apparently put holes in his ceiling and walls looking for the gold he had secreted for his retirement.

A woman that was admitted after me was placed in a "private" room after being traumatized by spousal abuse.
The night of her admission, she had experienced an attempted rape from an also admitted-as-patient priest who had entered her unlocked door.

A woman was estranged from her husband because she was experienced uterine problems because of complications with hemorrhoids that deterred her from sex. Yet no one seemed to draw the connection of how to help her or them.

A mother was there with a handwashing compulsion because her infant had died of a disease and she had been told that it was because she had not provided a clean enough surrounding. The answer of the doctors was to administer shock treatments. She was terrified of having any more. They had done little to assuage the compulsion. Every time she had a session, more of her memory disappeared. She could no longer remember her husband, how they met, what they had experienced together. He was a stranger. Her two young children were also strangers to her. She feared losing a memory of who she was.

According to one "inmate" most patients would be returning after being discharged as well.
His understanding was that they could only survive so long "outside" and then they would return to be recharged.
I later read in more than one psychiatry journal that psychology and psychiatry had a failure rate of 80%!
I was later extensively tested by a professional career counselling service. They determined that I shared a HIGH degree of interests, skills, and knowledge with 5 professions: Psychiatry, Sociology, Surgeon, Detective, Librarian. Most persons apparently only aligned with one or two professions. Why would I choose to go into a profession with an 80% failure rate? I did take psychology at university as one of my combined BA honors program. I was increasingly deterred from psychology when I was given a B- for a term paper because I had done too much work. The professor explained that I was supposed to have written a lightly researched paper no more than 12 pages long. I had written a 60 pages thesis on Cognitive Dissonance that was graduate level material. But I was an undergraduate!

After a number of weeks in the ward, exposed weekly to Group Therapy, and daily to Art Therapy, I began to help others.
My psychiatrist, with whom I had never spoken previous to my "Recovery Interview" advised me that it was time for me to go home as it was not my responsibility or place to be helping others ... even though I seemed to be skilled at it.

My Past and Future, to those who "knew" me had been decided by the LIES told by others who were perceived to be human gods. Apparently no one thought to ask God or me for the truth. With God's help and direction, I made the best of it; not everyone does.

Truth changes Satanic into Spiritual. -- Balancing therapy INDEX

During the 1980s I acquired Hypersensitivities.
That is when your body/Reptilian Structure reacts with symptoms as if you have been exposed to a concentration of a substance that is 10 to 1000 times stronger than it actually is. This reaction comes directly from the Reptilian Structure having previously formed an Energy Block in response to a past trauma. Traumas are intense experiences which are enveloped in confusion, fear, survival, and, Pause. These are experiences for which the consciousness of our Ego (personal needs and wants attitudes and beliefs) and our SuperEgo (social needs and wants attitudes and beliefs) are responsible for making a decision and taking an action based upon their connection of present realities/factors with past realities/factors.

That is, you use your learning and personal experiences to rationalize, project, or, associate your awareness of the Present with what has proven successful to yourself or others in the Past. In the case of a trauma unresolved, our Consciousness (Ego and SuperEgo) Pause in confusion and inability to decide. As our Reptilian Structure is responsible for our Physical Survival, it is pushed into taking action, for which it is not designed. It Associates PRESENT awareness factors with PAST responses which resulted in Success (Survival ... you are still alive) and reacts with a repeat. The Action/Reaction is often not the Best and can be irrelevant and even destructive, yet, in an emergency, something which has "worked" before, in what is Associated as a similar circumstance is better than Waiting for a catastrophe.

I was fortunate to meet a husband and wife who had been previously a Priest and a Nun.
They were hypersensitive themselves and leading a group of hypersensitive activists.
They conveyed to me the sense that one could develop a SKILL of Asking God for Answers and receiving those answers.
They had found, for themselves that by using a pendulum, they could determine a Yes or No, accurately, to Questions.
They understood the process as Asking God and receiving an answer from God as translated through a Pendulum.
For me, the main benefit was knowing that one could Ask God on a Personal level and receive a direct Answer.
HOW one received that answer and confirmed that it had not been interfered with was a Personal discovery.

I was also fortunate to have maintained contact with a previous wife, Ayda, whom I had chosen to divorce.
Even before our marriage, some of my best friends cautioned that they did not feel confident of the union.
But, as many modern dramas depict, love, or lust, or emotional need .. can be easily deceived and blind.
As an optimist, I never looked for negatives and frequently made excuses for the weaknesses of others.
Both before and increasingly after our marriage, Ayda seemed to delight in both exaggerating small things into significant accusations and telling lies to my friends, and possibly her relatives, which made me appear to be immoral and manipulative. Truth was my sensitive spot. This is a situation in which if one denies the accusation they usually look MORE guilty, and, not responding to the lie is too often understood as acknowledging it as true. Like the question: "Do you still beat your wife?" to be answered with a "yes" or "no". As there seemed to be no way forward, I elected for divorce.

Ayda, I discovered after being divorced for a time, had become involved with another man ... whom I was shocked to hear abused her spiritually. That can be where another person asks or demands that you say or do something that normally your ethics would not allow you to consider. You decline and may exclude that person from your life, or, change your ethics and comply, or, react from the foundation of one or more energy blocks and willing follow the other person's choice for you, as if you had been hypnotised ... although in all fairness to hypnotism, persons hypnotised cannot be made to do anything which directly challenges a strong personal belief. If you believe murder is wrong, you cannot be hypnotized and forced to commit a murder. Here, the energy block reaction was for Ayda to follow the requests of this man because he was ASSOCIATED with the reality that he Accepted her. Every few months she had called me, usually at night, and we had spoken about her life and experiences and stresses. Each time I would do my best to counsel her with what I knew were the options involved, and what I considered to be most positive for her. She would agree ... essentially to leave this abuser. Nothing happened. The cycle repeated several more months later.

Ayda experienced a personal reality of empowerment personal choice, awareness and action.
I passed by her on the street one day, we stopped, and spoke briefly. She had left her abuser! Even more surprising, she had met a doctor in the congregation of the church she had returned to attend whom she had known for decades. This time, their communication and interaction had been revolutionized. In a month, they were engaged. In another 6 months they were married. They were very happy and very acknowledging and supportive of each other. I was most happy for her, and, impressed. What had happened?

Ayda had met a pair of therapists who had developed a skill of using a special set of homeopathic remedies to release "Energy Blocks". By muscle testing the client and asking questions they gained direct answers. In this way, they could determine what kind or personal or historical trauma had been acquired, when, and what the Reptilian Structure of the person required in order to release it. Essentially, the "energies" in the specific homeopathic remedy indicated were used as a catalyst by the person's Reptilian Structure to neutralize/release the Energy Block and its energies. One outcome was that the compulsion Ayda had to be attracted to her lover, and then be unable to negotiate with or leave that person when they became consistently abusive ... had been removed. Then, she had both Awareness, and, Choice.

This dynamic of understanding WHAT an Energy Block was and its ability to CONTROL one's attitude and behavior in very specific ways, together with the Awareness that anyone could ASK God questions and receive best answers presented when my hypersensitivities became life threatening. I had 36 hypersensitivities at the time with 6 being life threatening. That is, I experienced exaggerated physical symptoms when exposed to any of 36 types of foods, smells, beliefs, or, additives (to drinks, foods, nutritionals). One of the life threatening ones was a chemical insecticide-fungicide that had been in common use for 60 years to sterilize surgical tools and rooms, and, utensils and containers. A thorough rinse was always regulated. Regulations were not always followed as intended. This time, the new-at-the-time small tetra boxes used for juices became more dramatic challenge.

I was on my way home from a distant meeting and I stopped half way to have a lunch I had packed.
One of the items was a citrus juice in a tetra box. With the first sip of juice, I immediately began to experience symptoms.
My jaw muscle tightened. My chest muscles tightened. My scalp went numb. Sounds and light became too loud and too bright. My neck tightened. I began to get a migraine headache. I felt nauseous. I had to put on sunglasses. Within a few minutes, my attitude changed from pleased and hopeful to deeply depressed. I had heard many experiences recounted of other hypersensitive persons in our focus group. Consistently, if they went to a hospital emergency the doctor would ASSUME and Project from the actions and speaking. He would NOT listen and give any verity to the feedback of the patient ... who had sometimes been dealing with their hypersensitivities for months or years. Consistently, the doctor would DEMAND that the patient be treated in ways ... which made the situation either Worse, or was of NO benefit. The message was clear: "If you are in need of Drastic medical help, AVOID hospitals and doctors!"

The only option apparent to me was to get home and get into the DARK.
I struggled to drive the rest of the way. Fortunately, the roads were good and the traffic nil.
I got home and into my room. I was renting a room in a B&B at the time while managing the design, contracting, financing, and regulations for a unique subdivision to be built in an environmentally friendly area specifically suited for hypersensitive persons. I had a set of homeopathic remedies with me, or somehow obtained them. I began Asking God for answers to questions. I either had to find Answers, or die. Facing death can give one a lot of patience, persistence, and focus ... when you know that answers can be found that could lead you to better health. Over the next 2 days, largely in a dark room with no food or beverages ... I Asked, Tested for accuracy, Defined blocks and Determined Quantity of the appropriate Remedy to Release the Energy Block available. 80 block releases later and ALL the symptoms were gone! And they stayed gone, for those triggers.

My Basic Personality has a strength in wanting to help others Avoid from or Recover from pains, stresses, sabotaging behaviors and the like which I have experienced. I don't want others to experience the challenges and survival threats and illness catastrophes that I have, or, any. So I began to develop my skills of ASKING questions of God, receiving Answers, and using those answers to first assist myself, and then to determine how these skills and awareness could benefit others ... who were uniformly either abandoned by the healthcare industry, or, victimized by it and the rest of society. Over a decade, with the help of God and with the interaction with hundreds of clients, I founded a system of Energy Block release which I detailed on a website as "Balancing Therapy." I assisted people to GENTLY and, often, immediately change attitudes and behaviors of multiple sclerosis, cancers, repeated business failures, persistent and unaware miscommunication, chronic and acute health symptoms, intolerance, relationship conflicts, and sociopathic willingness to commit crimes against others for personal gain.

Releasing ALL of my own Energy Blocks (including "Hidden Blocks") could not protect me from the challenges of culture enabled environment pollution, workplace toxicities, dental device poisons, genetically modified mutators, viruses in drugs, endemic parasite infestations, and the choices of others to be selfish, abusive, or, violent. Yet, I was able to counter all of these when they presented by working WITH God, Asking, Doing-My-Part, encouraging others, and, learning that I could Ask God questions on anything I made the effort and could understand somewhat ... and not just on health issues. Balancing Therapy, or, the release of Energy Blocks transforms us into what God wanted us to be, save the genetic modification imposed by Satan. At that point we have the Choice to constructively influence our Imprinting and to resist the multitude of authority biased and often peer promoted satanic beliefs, attitudes and actions. i am happy with that. For worldwide reduction of satanic influence, I was Guided that more than 24,000 persons of my skill and inclination would be required, at a minimum, as of 5 years ago.