Gigolo, whore, flirt, call-girl, prostitute, wife?
To the insincere and insecure person there may not be any difference.
If you must deceive the other person in order to communicate with them, you are participating on the basis of a belief that you CAN manipulate the other person, that you must conceal your real (honest) intentions, and that this "play" is a cultural sanctioned manner of addressing a taboo subject, such as sexual attraction.

Taboo subjects are those which a culture chooses to be in denial and ignorance of. These are the well-known subjects of concern or conversation which are touched upon with euphemisms, insinuations, suggestiveness, avoidance, anxiety, fear, satire. They are the most talked about subjects where no one knows what is REALLY being said by those around them. The listener is asked to project and participate. If they participate, they are accepted, and, assumed to hold the same interest. If they don't play, the listener is projected in the speaker's mind to be unimportant: a non-player to be forgotten.

If you decide to participate is this game of test and deception, the longer you are in it, the more the proponent is led to believe that you share the reality, unconscious or fantasy driven, that they secretly want. It often begins as a comment that appears to be an acknowledgement, yet carries with it a SUGGESTION of intimacy and a desire for sharing. The fact that the communication is built upon the projections of two or more individuals betrays that both are only in it for selfish motives. The proponent finds the other person sexually attractive and wants to have physical intimacy with the target. There is no expression of respect for the other person as anything more than a sex object. The responding target individual feels acknowledged by the attention to the point of participating in the invitation.

Why would a person participate in a known deception?
If you are NEEDY for attention, you will participate. Your selfish Ego (personal values identity) will try and get as much acknowledgement, praise, gifts, emotional stroking, physical security, distraction, and excitement as it can. Your SuperEgo (cultural values identity) will try and guide you between what is acceptable as commonly presented social patterns, what is not acceptable as a too obvious intimate expression in social surroundings, and, try to balance the RISK equation of Ego WANT (from desperation, loss, dependency) against cultural acceptance (not to express intimacy on a physical level without privacy).

The Risk AND Safety in Deception is based upon the principle that IF you participate, you are responsible for any dislikable outcome. You are not to cry Rape later if you don't like the physical treatment you signalled an invitation to. For the proponent, often yet not always male, if the BARGAIN is successfully negotiated, physical sexual intimacy becomes a logical outcome of verbal sexual intimacy. The Ego of the proponent is most happy with its success and minimizes the perception of risk involved in repeating the pattern with as many other persons as will participate. Rejections are minimized as persons unworthy of the "sophistication" of the game: no great loss. The bargain struck has been simple, no-commitment physical sex. Any participant assuming or expecting that any greater degree of respect or sincerity is likely, is in denial of the principles of the game of flirting.

Same gender heterosexual flirt relationships are commonly expressed in sales, counselling, and the legal systems of North America. The behavior of many guilty persons in the legal system is to lie and deceive and avoid responsibility for as long, and as effectively, as the system of checks and balances can be manipulated in their favor. The goal of the defence, innocent by a principle of doubt, is often little more than introducing enough irrelevant rationalizations to confuse the issue of responsibility so that the accused is allowed their freedom. At first a warning, the guilty set free become increasingly confident in their ability to manipulate the system to continue to get what they want at the expense of others.

Most of the sales behavior of North American capitalism is an extension of the flirt principle.
Marketing is quite direct in its acceptance of this reality. Sell the sizzle, not the steak! Tell people your product has everything they want, not what it IS. Give people the taste they want --- just make it as cheap as possible, often synthetic, so that you can get the maximum of profit. "Synthetic" may mean using artificial flavors, using sweatshop labor dependent upon easy to abuse minorities, using the media to support illegitimate wars or distract the voter from the reality of bureaucratic and institutional wastes of time and money.

Much of the services industry is also an extension of the flirt principle.
The difference here is that it is less obvious as to who is deceiving whom. Typically, the more institutionalized the service, the more the customer is deceived into a confidence in often incompetent officers and agents. Service on an individual basis is more consistently offered at the greatest of personal economic risk to the the counsellor or therapist, and, for success, demands verbal intimacy between the participants. They can't effectively assist you if you hide details from them or lie to them. Sharing is the only constructive option for a joint commitment to the improvement of the situation of the customer.

The more political and institutionalized a service becomes, the more it often sanctions authoritarian and theoretical impersonal responses to personal problems. As the power of the agent of the institution increases through sanction of expertise, sanction of payment, sanction of employment income and social prestige of position --- the more the customer can be deceived and manipulated to follow the guesses of the expert and grossly overuse the services offered. The alternative extreme, is to offer a personal service that is so difficult to obtain that the prospect abandons self-improvement with despair.

A rebellious flirt revision of the institutionalized service is that of deceptive overuse by the customer or patient. If the service is free, or low cost, the flirt may simply invent, by projection or paranoia, or laziness -- an unnecessary requirement. They may make the work of a counsellor or agent particularly difficult and lengthy by continually changing the honesty of their participation. They want help, but are unwilling to do anything for themselves. They have complaints, which when answered, are added to by a serial and endless array of other dissatisfactions. They accept all they receive, and ever demand more. Their benefit: attention. Their weakness: non acceptance of themselves and wanting to be more, have more -- money, respect, sex, power, .... It is a great expression of selfish power to be able to impose greatly on the time of someone else, at THEIR expense -- of efficient use of their skills. Everyone loses, except the incurably weak and dependent person.

What is constructive about flirting?

1. You can be verbally intimate as a display before peers;
2. You can present an image of verbal aggressiveness;
3. You can feel the safe excitement of passive risk;
4. You can suggest personal confidence and power;
5. You can obtain self-rewarding attention;
6. You can win a contest of deception;
7. Power to make others inefficient.

What is the destructive influence of flirting?

1. Verbal intimacy often betrays a lack of physical intimacy;
2. Verbal aggressiveness often betrays cowardice of commitment;
3. The excitement of sincere involvement and quality is lost;
4. Errors are denied preventing learning and integrity;
5. Attention by deception encourages non-involvement;
6. No one respects or trusts a liar and cheat;
7. Good services are wasted on the insincere.

If you have been IMPRINTED into this pattern of interaction, you CAN change it by being aware of it, understanding it, and developing the skills to interact in more positive ways for better quality of lifestyle and relationships. Once it is revealed to you, it is obvious that it is a pattern of behavior and not repetitive choices to act out as the immature boy-man or girly-woman that more responsible persons tolerate as a joke, as ignorance, as repulsive, as unintellectual, as tragic, or, as depressing.

The outcome of a positive change can be more stable relationships, less depression and anxiety, less waste of time and energy, greater acknowledgement and support from others, more maturity and self-responsibility, more able to positively influence others, less cost of service delivery, more benefit available for others. Some supportive skills include Assertiveness, employment skill-building, self-awareness activities including prayer, meditation, and interactive workshops, and, releasing supporting energy blocks. Since flirting is a failure mode that may be an extension of abandonment trauma, or, will more often result in the building of such blocks --- the pattern may require a combined approach to enable the effective expression of Quality Communication and Interaction.

IF you want a SHARING relationship, it must be built on trust earned from openness, honesty, self-assertion, courage, forgiveness, compassion, empathy. NONE of these factors are part of flirting. Sharing is NOT about deception, manipulation, hiding or denying your faults, taking advantage of others, or winning over someone else. That is part of the imprinted pattern of flirting, which often is expressed also in the behaviors of romance, drama acting, prostitute soliciting, non-committal intimate behavior, and relationships built upon co-dependency and weak self-esteem.