1979 --- 1988 - 1993 --- 2001
A FEELING Style Walk-In's Influence. --- Up to Top

In the 5 years leading up to my 1993 WALK-IN there accumulated a long string of self trainings and preparations for a new career offering a potential for a good income. On several occasions, I was offered a job, often by a friend who knew me well, and it provided stability and an income for a time. Yet, those few realities lacked any likelihood of earning enough to develop an above average savings. I continued to experience Very POOR short-term recall through this period until much later. Some persons would have been so devastated by any ONE of these disasters as to surrender any thought of income and career recovery and have sunk into any one or several addictions (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, spectating, swearing, abusiveness, gambling, ..) AND satisfied themselves with a frequently followed path of a mundane and routine job, and, a refocusing on a social identity, and/or, family and a marriage. For many others, 5 of these apparent failures would have been far beyond their patience or understanding and they also would have chosen the path just described.

Having grown up, worked, and gained a CONSTANT, Predictable, and Dependable sense of REALITY on a mixed produce farm, an EXTREME form of naivety, ignorance, and unpreparedness arose when the LOCATION of my Reality changed from the Rural to the Urban. On the farm, there was a workforce of TWO, myself and my father. There were DAILY chores (routines) of variable complexity, yet, with only light flexibility in terms of timing and action. In the urban-commercial environment, I interacted with DOZENS of persons daily and thousands over a year. In the urban environment, earning currency to pay for lodging, food, preferences, recreation .. was mandatory. On the farm, most of these COSTLY items were provide free-of-charge in return for my participation in the labor pool. I barely saw or accumulated money and rarely used a bank account. In the urban-commercial REALITY, a bank account and savings, together with an appreciation for VALUE and WORTH according to Cost and Sale became a FOUNDATION on which all else seemed to be built. It was a different WORLD, and it would have different Patterns of Reality, Ethics, and Morality. These apparent opposites of Reality would prove nearly impossible to bridge.

For up to 5 years before 1993 and up to 8 years after 1993, I worked hard to do my BEST at whatever employment I was in with an expectation of due Acceptance and Reward. One employer actually confided to me on my leaving his employ that "If hard work were a barometer of success, you would be highly successful". Yet, success, in the qualifying terms of the urban-commercial world seemed to elude me, eventually, and repeatedly.

1982/1983: R.P.M. Microcomputer Sales, --- Up to Top
I had worked previously for a start-up microcomputer sales company started by an HP executive.
My experience to Sales training had been minimal. I had expected that by providing technical detail to a prospect they would know what they wanted and if the device was adequate and of a good price they would buy. This was a highly UNREALISTIC perspective which I would not acknowledge for YEARS. This time was the beginning of the microcomputer small business market. Most prospects knew little about computers beyond the promotional materials in magazines and on the TV. I had no recognition that a salesperson was best to find out with subtle questions and listening as to what the concerns and expectations were of a prospect, and then, to emphasize solutions to these, as relevant. When the owner did a presentation to a prospect and used me as an ignorant foil to impress the prospect, I took GREAT offence. He had not informed me of this technique beforehand and I had no warning or preparation for the insult. I quit.

Soon after, I was hired to be Sales Manager of another startup, this time by 3 partners.
I acquired a staff of 3 novice salespersons, including my wife at that time. My error, again, was to aggregate as much information and articles about microcomputer applications, product details, business articles .. in the hope that such resources would prepare my staff. I had learned to do door-to-door prospecting for leads much earlier and I highly encouraged them to focus on this. I was ill equipped at this point to conduct a worthy presentation and there were no course to educate one in such. One learned from one's mistakes, yet, much practice was necessary to afford such. Not self-aware of the Personal Reality, I had been shy much of adult life to now. I had forced myself to cold call prospecting. I AVOIDED prospecting now partly because I was the manager-leader, and partly because earlier efforts had proven largely a lot of effort for few or no sales, and, partly because I unconsciously feared failure. The company made no sales and close after 5 months.

1982: Penncorp Accident & Sickness Insurance Agent, --- Up to Top
I had experienced what accidents and disabilities could do to SAVINGS and one's lifestyle so I empathized with the potential plight of the many. Out of work and newly graduated from university into an economy with a cutback in jobs and financial supports for what I had specialized in, Sociology and Psychology, I had exhausted my savings, had some debt, and wanted something which could be considered secure, steady, and open to providing an income relative to one's efforts. Rationally, Accident and Sickness Disability insurance appeared to answer the search. Hiring was qualified by passing a licensing exam. The field of prospects might be everyone who currently did not have a policy. This was a company who sent agents into the field, often with a listing of prospects, and, who would travel, eat, rest, and support each other with peer-to-peer support and training.

Difficulties arose and presented the longer I was in the field.
There was a preference that one learn the details and features of every policy to a recitation level.
With a seemingly lifelong inability to memorize and recall because of my missing short-term RECALL, the oft assumption by many people, especially the young, that to understand something was to know it .. Failed. Consciously understanding something does NOT equal an ability to RECALL and repeat it. That almost always requires memorization by way of repetition. Added to the details was a Presentation SCRIPT which was to be fully memorized and available in an immediate sense. The looming difficulty was that no matter how much I repeated it and rehearsed it, the words were GONE as soon as I said them. I went along with a partner that I was assigned to in hopes of imprinting his style. Yet, I was not built for spectating. I quickly became bored observing my partner present to a prospect. In one visitation, I fell asleep .. to the extreme annoyance of everyone else. Adding to the pile of disadvantages, I was shy. With early life traumas, energy blocks and imprinting, DRAMA was my enemy. Yet, as my partner pointed out, Drama was what SOLD. With time and effort and no income, and more debt .. it was a question of whether I resigned, quit, or was let go.

1987-1991: WCS Construction, subdivision --- Up to Top
Before going to university in 1977, I had redesigned a prefab house and been part of every aspect of building and finishing it. I had learned blueprinting in high school, electrical wiring at a skills college night school, and learned plumbing, painting, insulating, and landscaping on the job. I had acquired Severe hypersensitivities, joined a support group, and discovered that there was no known RECOVERY strategy ..simply AVOID whatever you were hypersensitive to. That brought the importance of selecting building materials and finishing items (paints, carpets, rugs, wood composition, furniture) into a demanding focus. I was beginning to use Spiritual Guidance increasingly by now. I researched and selected materials with Guidance. I found that with a topographical map and Spiritual Guidance I could clearly and accurately define which areas would be unsuitable for habitation by anyone hypersensitive .. air and water pollution, environmental conflicts, etc. Few areas of ANY size remained in the province of Ontario, yet, I found several.

An idea came to mind that I could design an acceptable subdivision for hypersensitive persons with housing that had housing designed to be self-insulating (log housing, earth bermed designs and a solar orientation) and, long-term low maintenance (concrete). I had already developed skills and awareness that was relevant through the errors and successes of building my own house. During my research and location visits I found a region big enough and zoned for a subdivision, and, with the ability to ERASE all hypersensitivity symptoms of ANY combination from persons who were near or on the property (almost unheard of even to today, 2023). I met the owners, met subcontractors, arranged purchasing agreements with Sears and other suppliers, had 2 test wells dug to confirm a valid water supply (large regions around this property and elsewhere were devoid of groundwater, completely). I had the land and zoning. I had the housing design. Ontario Hydro were supportive of my designs and perspective. I had the materials chosen. I had subcontractors lined up. The township and its engineer were in favor. I was giving presentations to raise the financing. Authorization and government planning departments gave assent. A local television news personality interviewed me for broadcast. I had financing prospects.

The last and critical step was for the township and I to sign a subdivision agreement.
Typically in urban areas, townships require developers to pay for infrastructure items which the township would otherwise be required to provide at an extra expense against collected taxes. This includes roads to the property with adequate surface quality, water access and sewage disposal, and valuation limits and thresholds for the dwellings. In cities, it had become routine to add in a local park. This would be the FIRST such agreement this township would make. They had released their engineer to work with me. Everything was set and expected to be completed within several days. Then, the township councilors, in hopes of making their FIRST a professionally designed agreement, sent it to a local legal firm for a qualified acceptance. That company, as later revealed, had also NEVER reviewed such an agreement, AND, was motivated to make it as Perfect as possible so that they would receive more business from the township. A few days stretched into a month while the legal firm added everything possible as extras to mirror that of a Toronto city agreement. My financing was GONE! It had taken TWO years to find TWO sources. One closed off after a week of waiting in knowledge of the other party ... TIME is lending interest and profits. The last investor evaporated after 3 weeks when I still did not have a closing date.

For me, the lengthy, time and energy demanding, skill requirement and availability, positive and supportive contacts (there were no negative ones), the software development (of project management) I had developed and utilized, and the THOUSANDS of Spiritually Guided decisions PERSONALLY made had reached a threshold, required patience to WAIT, and then, collapsed. Not all drilling and professional fee expenses could be paid. Subcontracts had to be terminated shortly before they were to begin, at a sacrifice to the contractors for other jobs they had turned down or delayed. The PAID FOR house that I had factored into the project as my payment was gone. My IDENTITY had been so immersed in the project, and, it also provided a CERTAIN health RECOVERY for myself and 20 other families .. was DEAD, in a flash because of the incompetence and greed of a legal firm!

1990: Peiman Maintenance, engineer, --- Up to Top
It was in the beginning stages of the WCS Construction project that I found Spiritual Guidance and use of Bach Remedies to release Energy Blocks. I released my first few and then began assisting others and building the Balancing Therapy. Margaret Peiman lived near to the subdivision site and was an early client. Her life and health changed massively. Her husband was a Maintenance and Repair technician, self employed, whose clients were amongst the largest manufacturers in the province, including Westinghouse. His orientation was huge manufacturing CNC (Computer Numerical Control) machines which are used in almost every industry today to automatically mill, drill, and finish many manufactured goods. It was still the early stages of massive deployment with few technicians available to repair them. Mr. Peiman had learned on the job mainly through trial-and-error. With the Failure of WCS Construction, I needed a paying job and a place to live. He offered me such a job assisting him, and, in particular to reverse engineer a controller unit in his basement.

I had considerable electronics maintenance and repair experience and training from my SEVEN years with EBS before going to university. At first, it was being his assistant, becoming familiar with his clients and with the machines and their problems he worked on. With no device manuals for ANY module of the massive structures and with no training courses, the possibility of making this a new and sustaining career was more a matter of desperation and hope (fantasy) than a good strategy. The same was true of the Controller he set me to work on. NO manuals, schematics, or training (supports). Largely, the plan went nowhere. With no supports, it was an impossible task from the start. It was a worse outcome in a shorter time than it had been with WCS. There was only I and him involved, not the dozens of other people present in WCS. Yet He was the incompetent partner here, unable to see the WEAKNESSES in not having ANY documentation of ANY CNC machine or controller, and, not being able to assess my capabilities to do what he expected. Within 7 MONTHS we parted and I returned to the city Toronto and put everything into storage lockers. Living HOMELESS for the following 7 MONTHS was quite another education and experience.

I admit a greater clarity of the dynamic expressed here did not come into focus for me until now (2023-02).
This is partly because I had left the experience behind and beyond recall, and partly because I was neither confused or anxious about it and wanting a fuller explanation until now. NOW, it is RELEVANT. There exists today, particularly across the USA, as many as 47% of that population who fit into the category of KNOWS LITTLE - ASSUMES MUCH. Mr. Peiman had not had much training or interest in electronics and electromechanical devices before being asked to see what he could do towards effecting repairs on these massive devices. Like many technicians repairing electromechanical devices, a primary time saver and repair strategy is to exchange prospective failing parts and modules with known active ones to find the failure. Once the machine or computer is working, you know what is failing. The failing part is taken back to the office, and, frequently, passed on to an engineering lab for diagnosis and repair, or, also frequently, disposal. If the technician is interested in and either formally or self-educated in electronic DESIGN, they may delve deeper into the problem at the customer's location, at their own Risk of termination (for wasting time), or, added COST, as they must now carry with them a multitude of discrete parts that compose the module. If they are really that self aware, better they choose to work in a Designer role, paying them 5 to 10 times the income.

Mr Peiman likely considered that since I had maintained and repaired minicomputers and their peripheral devices for many years, I must be CAPABLE of working with ANY electronics circuitry and be able to reverse engineer AND re-design a novel new machine. Electronics are electronics, No? That is like concluding that because I have processed and eaten watermelons and coconuts all of my life, I automatically know how to prepare and eat squash now, seen for the first time, and, without ANY cookbooks, recipes, or relevant cultural feedback! And yes, from my side, I FULLY expected that when given this task, I would also be provided with EXTENSIVE documentation about the controller, and, receive SOME assistance or answers from Mr. Peiman. THOSE would be normal, relevant, and practical contributions. Yet, there was neither any manuals nor access to any. Mr. Peiman could not provide ANY intelligent support to me, because, he knew even less about this piece of thrown away device than I. It quickly and increasingly became obvious that I, and likely most people would find this to be an impossible task.

Global politics, particularly in technically dependent and poorly democratized nations with rampant mass media, have voters who often know very little about the topics they freely form an OPINION on. That Committed Judgement of Owned Belief encourages them to Identify with policy statements which are equally poorly informed, and, OFTEN, counter to any constructive action. Voters fed NASA documentaries about the space exploration industry BELIEVE that travelling into and across Space is Safe, Glamorous, Exciting, and a Benefit to humanity. The facts often reveal the opposite. Voters fed Action movies and serials BELIEVE that "bad" guys shot, die quietly and immediately. They BELIEVE that careening through streets and expressways, causing accidents and destroying other vehicles causes no grief to those left disabled, dead, and with much private property LOST at a great personal COST. Fed on a media (movies, serials, news, magazines, social media) that not only reports anti-social behavior (theft, drug use, violence, shootings, rape, betrayal, etc.) but amplifies and emphasizes it, they BELIEVE that they can Trust no one. Submerged in histories and documentaries that glorify war and its being won by "their" side, they BELIEVE that their nation NEVER allows or encourages torture, assassinations, civilian loss, wanton destruction, and, deception. Yet, the REALITY is that ALL of these BELIEFS are MOSTLY inaccurate. These FANTASIES mandate errors which hurt MANY people, needlessly.

1990: NSA Water & Air Filtration units agent, --- Up to Top
Finding a job and a new career with no money and no housing and limited transportation was a problem.
While I eventually got a job with a long-term friend at a Print 3 franchise, I was never going to make enough money there to pay down bills and build up SAVINGS anytime in the foreseeable future. I became enamored with the self-employment craze of the time: network marketing. My past sold me on the benefits of comprehensive water filtration and air filtration as potential significant steps forward in health improvement and protection. My INTENSE involvement with Hypersensitivities, that community of sufferers, and the medical and scientific incompetence of the time, and, recovery from Hypersensitiveness with Balancing Therapy sensitized me to environmental toxins. My research into materials and into both energy saving and health enhancing building design for the WCS Construction project demonstrated that water and air pollution, both indoors and out, were fundamental contributors. For the individual, not much of significance and immediacy could be done on the outside, but, indoors much was possible. Careful selection of materials, fabrics, ventilation, and water sources was a critical consideration. The NSA Water and Air filtration systems were amongst the first consumer products to address these concerns.

The air filtration cabinet was unfortunately, yet typically, constructed of unfinished, on the inner surfaces, composite wood. Engineered wood, also called mass timber, composite wood, man-made wood, or manufactured board, includes a range of derivative wood products which are manufactured by binding or fixing the strands, particles, sawdust, sawmill scraps, wood waste, together with adhesives, or other methods of fixation to form composite material. The ADHESIVES are ALWAYS outgasing toxic fumes for their lifetime, a slow and lengthy decomposition. Placed in a poorly ventilated indoor setting, as furniture structures or (aspenite, plywood) wallboard or flooring, the gases from these items, if unfinished with an INGASING paint, can become life threatening to hypersensitive persons, and, contribute to persons becoming hypersensitive. I knew of, where to buy, and how to make an F-SORB ingasing paint, originally designed for nuclear reactor facilities. So, I disassembled the air filtration cabinets I stocked and sealed the raw inner surfaces of the composite wood. In my opinion, it was of limited help to sell an air filtration unit that itself contaminated the air. While the air filters were of HEPA (high-efficiency particulate absorbing filter and high-efficiency particulate arrestance filter), design, and the best available at the time, they did not and could not remove chemical contaminants from the air. They also required replacement and could not be owner cleaned.

With the best available technology, a massive health requirement, and the possibility of a rising income tied to a rising customer base, the opportunity seemed of low risk. NSA was set up, like many network marketing companies, that members purchased a block of units to stock and sell, either paid for directly or within a specified time period, and then sold the units to prospects. The intent was to sell the products and remit the proceeds to the parent company in time to pay any owing amounts, receive sales benefits, and retain commissions. As I was working at the Print 3 shop at the time, this meant meeting with prospects after work hours, or, taking a day off or an interim period of time to present, demonstrate, and leave a test unit. The strategy was to introduce the benefits of the product, leave the product for the prospect to experience the benefits of for a week or two, return, and make the sale. More recently, I had finally been Very Successful with my prospecting and sales at Print 3. What was pivotal, to be more appreciated later, was that those sales had been business-to-business (commercial, and NOT consumer sales. As a formerly shy person with few friends (who could hurt me with gossip, sabotage, double-cross, and betrayal .. as had been my Energy Block building experiences of the past), I quickly went through my Personal Contacts. I then focused on corporate prospects with the hope that if a company bought ONE unit for ONE department or office, they would buy MANY to fully equip their massive office complex.

A pattern quickly and consistently developed that, to me, was unexpected, disappointing, and eventually .. devastating.
Much effort and few sales revealed that, for me, at that time, the RISK was HIGH that I would end up with more debt than more savings. With very little media attention to air and water pollution and their relevancy to health at the time, the public was fully ignorant and in denial of what I knew from personal experience and research. They were culturally also expectant, at that time, to hear of "new" scientific realities from recognized and/or sanctioned "experts", which in this case would be supported by the MEDICAL community. I was not that person and the medical community would not MILDLY recognize the dangers of pollution and the possible benefits of filtration for another 22 YEARS. To do so would be an admission that pharmaceutical drugs were not the miracle fix that North American medicine had become built on. At the same time, the CONFIDENCE attitude and dynamic of the public/culture was that an EXPERT must raise the awareness and do the educating, but NOT make the sale, and, that the salesman must NOT be an expert. I was an expert in that I had recovered from hypersensitivities and helped others, dependably, along that road. Yet again, the MEDICAL community would never acknowledge that as the theory behind the reality challenged their fundamental training and beliefs about healing. This left my prospects with the contradiction that if they contacted a MEDICAL (not scientific) representative for their opinion on what I was selling and why, that assumed Authority would say that it was all nonsense. Sales seldom materialized and I was left with product volume to somehow sell, often at a loss.

The end result was that I was left more informed about the REALITY of consumer awareness and beliefs, business attitudes, medical prejudices, and, the largely complete denial of the culture of the presence and influence of pollution on COMMUNITY health. If you had not been hypersensitive, and recovered, it was a hard sell. And, I was never accepting of deceiving and manipulating my prospect or client, with aggressiveness and manipulation, into a purchase. I had made a GREAT effort, again, to help the many AVOID a REALITY and disaster (this time, hypersensitivities) which I knew from experience ... and they would NOT consider or believe until they were dying from it. This challenged many of my fundamental culture born beliefs .. that also supported my Identity. It had been taught as a REALITY .. almost a spiritual principle, that ..

Hard work would yield hard (secure, expanding) profits --- NO;

Quality made devices would ALWAYS meet a receptive market -- NO;

Doing GOOD for the sake of others would always be rewarded -- NO;

The MEDICAL community would be encouraging of health promoting factors -- NO;

Everyone was always interested in finding out about success supporting factors -- NO;

There were ways in which one could ETHICALLY gain an above average income -- did NOT seem so.

A POSITIVE light, though not easily accepted by a person plagued by poverty .. was that the BALANCING Therapy, which I continued to provide and develop as an adjunct to my other activities .. would continue to be HIGHLY rewarding in all NON-FINANCIAL areas .. Basic Personality, Personal Spirit, Reptilian Structure. It would require a significantly MATURE Ego and SuperEgo to VALUE this above financial security. Even when I worked FULL TIME at providing Balancing Therapy .. it just paid the bills.

1988-1990: North American Life Insurance Agent, --- Up to Top
I purchased a Life Insurance policy from noted and popular Imperial Life Agent David Cowper.
I HIGHLY respected him and we developed an informal bond. I knew the philosophical ideal of insurance. When earned income again fell and employment became a concern again, I opted to consider becoming a Life Insurance agent. I consulted him. He was Very Positive about my potential success in the industry, but warned me and prospective employers that I would require INTENSIVE supervision and comprehensive training. His company was not best. He provided a glowing referral to an executive at North American Life (NALACO). I was easily hired and prepared for the obligatory licensing exam. I passed that, and then, my TRAINING and Supervision was left to myself. Of course, I studied all the technical details. I STUDIED all the Salesmanship books of note and available. I would later attend PRIVATE Insurance Sales Strategy seminars. Everything SOUNDED good. But NALACO had just suspended its agent training programs pending review and re-invention. The Supervisor I was placed in charge of seemed to have assumed that without a training program he had nothing to supervise!

I did my best with who and what I was.
I was continuing to carry many Energy Blocks and subconsciously I had many experiences and imprinting which made the Risk of making Cold Calls (approaching a stranger with an intent of making them into valid Prospects), the procedures for Closing a Sale, and the communication OBLIGATION of sharing Feelings and Motivations, PLUS the tactic of acting aggressively HUMBLE .. necessary skills. Don't forget, at this point, there would not be any common access Internet for another 10 YEARS. The same would be true of digital recordings. There were NO documentaries or training films that presented mentoring aspects of BEST practices. I did NOT come from a heritage of salesmanship and had never been exposed to such in my COMMUNICATION seminars and course projects at university. I came from a background which rewarded shyness and attacked drama; feelings were NOT tolerated as masculine; humility was interpreted as WEAKNESS. My MENTORS were on the pages of books! My Supervisor never provided or encouraged REHEARSAl sessions so that I might learn successful dynamics and have Confidence in them.

I did make cold calls. Mostly, they annoyed my friends and relatives and drove away strangers.
I knew, or had ready reference to, the specifics of the industry, insurance, and policy variables.
With much effort, trial and errors, I did SLOWLY learn to prospect better, present better, fell more confident in myself. I received a monthly draw (Financial advance) from the company to cover living expenses. It was part of that policy expectation that within the first 3 months I would have SOLD policies, received commissions, and be repaying any advances. Perhaps, with the favorable referral, the suspension of the training programs, and, the vacated Supervision ... I was allowed the leeway to SINK ever deeper in debt. In 18 months, I made TWO sales! My advances owing DEBT increased to $16,000. I kept being told by executives and administration that "the training courses are coming soon" yet, none appeared. I resigned with a written note of dissatisfaction with the company targeted to the executive. I received a letter of APOLOGY in return, but, NO reduction in my debt owed to them. Fortunately, for me, I received an unexpected small inheritance from a close uncle. It covered the debt and not much more.

1991: Mortgage Placement Service, Equity Franchise, --- Up to Top
A close friend from university days had employed me at his Print 3 franchise as a second manager after himself.
He decided to expand his enterprise interests to a franchise in a new and growing mortgage placement service. We had been quite successful with the Print 3, partially because I had done ALL of the prospecting for new accounts. I proved to be very good with business customers unlike my experiences with consumers, and, I had learned from the failures of the past, together with great yet short training from a Vice President of the franchisor. Now, he wanted me to head up the Mortgage service as the main and only employee. I accepted, learned the computer system, and began prospecting to local bank managers. I would be able to possibly find a mortgage for homeowners and small businesses who either did NOT qualify for a bank mortgage, or, could not afford one.

The combination of institutional and consumer customers proved to be a challenge for me.
Relationships with and benefits for bank and trust company branch managers relied mostly on educating them to consider me and our service supports for their customers and not competitors. With direct-to-homeowners contact a great range of unpredictables, ignorance and misinformation about the lending field, and, conflict oriented ATTITUDES sometimes presented communication problems. On several occasions, a customer had NOT remembered the conversation I had with them accurately and insisted on what they had WANTED to hear .. which was often to THEIR benefit at OUR expense. Sales grew but were slow in developing volume and stability. Within 5 months, the mortgage brokerage and banking mortgage service field became more competitive as interest rates changed and mortgage owners became increasingly panicked. At first business steady grew. Then, it began to fall off. The office space and franchise fees became too much of a non balance and the office had to be sold.

My friend and franchise owner had provided me with accommodation in the basement of a farmhouse at some distance out of town. As time advanced, I made a number of renovation changes to the basement to make it more friendly. When the office went, I began working from the basement. This was HIGHLY unsatisfactory. The basement was poorly insulated and efforts to improve the situation and keep it warm largely failed and resulted in HIGHER heating bills rather than stable or reduced ones. Making appointments with and conducting business over the phone from a driving distance of 37 miles were two GREAT disadvantages added to the increased competition and the panicking mortgage holders. It became evident to both of us that salvaging this business was going to be impossible. There was no magic in getting sales regardless of skill if the supporting factors were absent .. availability, contact, a valued and economical service, an educated or willing-to-be educated prospect. The business closed and I moved back into the city, and, back to work at the Print 3 franchise downtown.

1993: Prime Bank Debentures, Financial Investment Agent, --- Up to Top
I was introduced by a friend to a Financial Consultant who lived in and had an office in Las Vegas.
That person outlined a suggested investment scenario to me that could bring BIG dollars to cash starved me.
I didn't have any savings left. My part would be presenting the opportunity to contacts, friends, and associates who had $100,000 or more to invest. It was believable, yet extreme. Fraud or real, the real data and particulars had to be found and investigated. The DETAILS were held in confidence in the highest levels of bank head offices and major investment firms. I acquired legal and financial documents with whited out names and addresses. I had gained skill in university and after in reading through white outs to acquire the significant details which would reveal the Truth.

The scenario was that by investing large amounts of money into banking investments that were used to support major asset creation and take advantage of interest rate changes on a daily basis, one could accelerate the growth of their investment to return a doubling of their investment in 3 months. I examined the documents and researched international and national banking procedures intensely. Most citizens did not know then, and few are aware today, that major banks and investment corporations make most of their profits by selling the cash deposits and leveraging financial instruments of their depositors and clients to buy and sell currencies on the open market. Trading hundreds of millions of dollars with a TWO CENT spread every 20 minutes can accrue a lot of profit. This was NOT that, yet it was in the same neighborhood. A Vice President of AIG (American International Group) was one of the major participants noted in the previously active documents I acquired and examined. The best I could define was that it was REAL. I presented the possible investment details to FIVE carefully chosen prospects I had met in previous employments. FOUR agreed to go ahead after some expected skepticism countered by my research.

In haste, because these Debentures only came due at certain times, and this was one of the times, I arranged for the monies to be sent to the Las Vegas middleman. There were cautions raised by the bank manager arranging the international (Canada-USA) electronic transfers but we ignored them. EVERYBODY wanted the monies to effect some wish they had. I had cautioned them NOT to invest unless they had some BENEFIT in mind to use the profits for. Monies gone, we waited for the 3 months to expire. Three months grew into 4, 5, and 6. Our queries returned excuses for the delays that SOUNDED possible in the beginning. I did not have much savings but I made arrangements to travel to Las Vegas and meet with our contact. Once there, I found he had closed his office 6 weeks before. I went to his house and spoke with his wife. He was away in the eastern USA attending a funeral and would be gone for 10 more days. To me, their house was a mansion. Money and time would not allow me to stay until after his return. In the interim, I was Spiritually Guided to rent a car and travel south into the Nevada desert. That excursion proved to be a set of most unusual experiences, though not relevant here.

Over the next several months I pieced together what had BECOME the reality.
I had increasingly become aggressive at demanding that the monies be returned. When he returned home, our contact became frightened when his wife told him that I had been there and walked around the perimeter of the property and took pictures with a large Polaroid camera I had specifically purchased second hand for the trip. He was a fan of movies-to-be and projected that I was preparing to kill him or have him killed .. as per a movie script he had recently read. He and his wife sold their home and moved back to Pennsylvania to stay with relatives. This was far before digital records and the Internet. I researched through phone books for Pennsylvania at the main Toronto library and found his likely relatives and their address. A phone call confirmed he was living there, but out. I left a message. As the scenario unwound, I learned from various contacts that he had and an associate had used the monies to live an expensive lifestyle in hopes of attracting LARGER investments.

The reality was that 10 million dollars was the ENTRY minimum accepted.
They had only acquired what we sent, so they had to get MORE. He bought himself and his wife a million dollar house and he and his associate canvassed Las Vegas. They were POOR at prospecting as after 7 months they had acquired NO further investors. With the FEAR that returning a portion of the funds was unacceptable and that I might arrange for their murder, they sold the Las Vegas house, recouped some of the funds and went to Pennsylvania. I contacted the FBI, Las Vegas office, and presented a complaint that this was a suspected FRAUD. I sent them documents and taped telephone calls. Perhaps another few months later, I learned the new GLOBAL REALITY REGARDING massive SCAMS AND FRAUDS. Hundreds of millions of dollars had been stolen by fraud, more than once, by Russian nationals ... including from the Russian central bank and from Americans. They had a filing cabinet full of documents supporting legal charges against my contact, BUT! They did not have the financial resources to pursue all of the possible cases brought to them. They had been restricted to only pursuing those cases with the biggest losses. Ours was far down the list from those. It might never see a court or justice.

This was devastating to me and to the prospects I had encouraged into what had become a fraud.
There had been a REAL dynamic, as I had CONFIRMED with my research, but, we had NOT been told the pivotal truth that a much HIGHER amount of investment was required to participate. Then, from GREED, Ignorance, defunct planning, and miscommunication, as well as sociopathic ethics of the desperate .. they had fraudulently invested the funds in unrealistic expectation that they could find other prospects to make up the difference. The prospects I had brought in were all GREATLY at a loss. They could see that I made NOTHING from the venture, had worked hard on their behalf, and they had been weaseled (apologies to the weasel) out of their SAVINGS. A woman had hoped to provide a better and long-term lifestyle for her retarded son. A fellow and his wife had hoped to have a larger asset poor and buy outright a larger house in a better location. Another fellow had hoped to surpass the conservative investments of his brother. I had, again, risked everything to hopefully significantly help others, AND, drag myself out of persistent poverty. And, incompetent middlemen had LIED, DEFRAUDED, Miscommunicated, and Abandoned us.

1993-1996: Networker's Club, Software Development for Used Car Sales, --- Up to Top
The company was originally started by a pair of partners. The intent was to build an organization which sold quality products at an economical cost and paid the selling member a commission. Multi-level marketing (MLM), also known as direct marketing or network marketing, is a method of selling products directly to consumers using independent sales representatives. Those representatives have possible used the products, become enthusiastic about its qualities, purchase a membership (containing training materials and a range of products), and begin selling the products to friends, neighbors, relatives, and other prospects. They receive a commission on the products they sell, and, if any of the customers they sell to choose to become members and sellers, they are placed in an administrative structure as dependents on whomever introduced them to the product. New members receive the same basic commission, and, those who referred them receive a much smaller percentage associated commission. Infamous promotions promote how much money a member can earn if they introduce MANY prospects who become customers and then decide to join themselves. Again, a greedy executive can encourage members to focus on signing up new members rather than selling products. Those at the original member end of the string make monies from products they sell, as well as monies from every product sold, by all those in the referral string.

The Networker's Club was to focus on sales of quality products and services which the executive had often developed themselves. The original partners had begun their joint enterprise as a company which would produce a specialized directory which would publicize the participants who would pay an advertising/booking fee, and the directory would also be sold to the public. Later, I became aware of the SOURCES Directory published in Toronto, Ontario and which listed experts and spokespersons that might be an advantage for journalists, reporters, editors, and researchers to contact for articles, reports, and books they might be planning to author. Founded in 1970, Barrie Zwicker published SOURCES from 1974 onwards. Mario and his partner targeted priest, nuns, ministers, and others. Both being elders in the local Catholic church, the idea began as a service they expected to benefit all. Developments went slower than expected the the publishing and circulations costs of this venture, which they had no relevant background in, ever required more subscribers before it could be published. I was unaware of this founding and side issue, and its history, until I was working for Networker's for over a year!

Mario and his partner continued to promise publication and collect monies with more prospects continually contacted by phone and in person. It can become easily rationalized when one has reduced their savings to desperation and when a source of acquired CASH is available, and, one feels deserving of reward for one's hard work and risk, and, when one has Energy Blocks, together with a desire to show long delayed success to one's wife ... to "borrow" monies for a home improvement deck. When the RISK is covered by Personal Debt, that can be seen as responsible. Difficulties arise when those monies are taken from monies you have been paid to provide a service for others, and NOT used at all for any part of that publishing service. Taken from an account which, in usual practice would have been placed in trust or safeguarded with a requirement of multiple signatures for any withdrawal .. but was not, was FRAUD. As too often can happen, enough subscribers to make publication profitable were never acquired. And, the partner, emboldened by his new deck, and, unconsciously guilty by his fraud ... refused to accept the failure of their efforts and expected Mario to continue with him to sell more listings .. with little hope of ever publishing.

I had become associated with Networker's Club through Mario who was a Balancing Therapy client of mine.
It began with my providing his sessions at their office. I began making investment presentations to raise monies to fund the product manufacturing, pay for administration, and provide seminars to raise membership volume. There was a lot of imaginative possibilities that could assist others. I worked, increasingly for Networker's on the promise that I would be eventually paid from the proceeds of Networker's. In other words, I worked unpaid and without a retainer. I was BUSY all of the time, and often for longer days. The office was at an awkward location with public transit, required to get me home to an apartment shared with my fiancee, only available for a short and infrequent DAY schedule. I secondarily provided Balancing Sessions to multiple clients at the office, with permission in acknowledgement of the work I was doing for delayed payment. I missed the last bus, at 5:30 pm, several times and arranged to stay overnight in the office. Soon, I made a discrete sleeping area on a work table hidden from view in my large office-storeroom. I had a BELIEF that if I could get enough work done, the company would survive and grow, and, I would be paid.

Mario went to a Financial and Investment Services company whose President expressed Great Confidence in raising the monies needed for a true business launch of Networker's. They were retained on a $1,200 or more per month contract. A loan or investment provider was promised to materialize within 3 months. Presentations were made; NO monies were raised in 5 months. We were always just about to get the financing. More money, of what there was none, was down the drain. Meanwhile, the idea of putting together an online buy and sell trading service for automobiles was promoted by Mario. It was left for me to code and create webpages which LOOKED ready, yet were intentionally not coded to take orders, make invoices, and, be active in processing funds. Those would be integrated when we had the start-up funding. A great amount of work for me, in addition to spending an average of 6 hours daily preparing and providing Balancing Therapy sessions during the second and third years. A new, powerful, and complicated database program for computerization came to light.

Again, I was partly encouraged and partly confident that I would be able to learn how to use and program it for the Auto Buy-Sell Service. The online service was 16 years ahead of its time, ahead of the technology that would eventually be used, 12 years ahead of an Internet that was widely available and becoming popular across all social boundaries. For the past 6 years, from 2016, online Auto Buy-sell Services have become numerous, competitive, and normal. We, and I, did not know what would become a REALITY of timing then. A great amount of my time and effort went into this project .. which had to be abandoned when the partner showed up unannounced one evening at the office after hours and removed the few, yet elementary computers we were working with. I had been providing Balancing Sessions to Mario and he had transitioned from accepting the Fraud his partner expected him to continue to support .. to, refusing to do anything further with that project. With the failures in raising start-up investments and no monies coming in from the publishing fraud, the partner repossessed the computers he was making payments on, personally.

With no computers, Networker's was dead.
There was no way for me to continue developing the Buy-Sell website. There was no longer ways to justify raising start-up investment or recruiting new members. The office would have to be closed immediately. During the previous 18 months I had experienced severe medical problems which also demanded attention, effort, and persistence to recover from Testicular Cancer, Colon Cancer, and a botched throat-nasal surgery. I had split from my fiancee .. not a plus when I seemed certain to die, periodically, was always staying overnight at the office, and was owed increasingly, back wages. I ended up homeless for a time, covertly sleeping in a storage locker that had to look locked after hours, within a locked compound. Coming and going usually meant climbing a tree at the side fence and dropping down on the other side. After several months, Mario offered me sleeping quarters in his house, a made over dining room. A weakened heart provided heart attack symptoms. With the local hospital and doctors of no benefit .. 50% of heart attack patients die because medical tests cannot detect any problem ... I again found Recovery by Spiritual Guidance indicating the use of Hawthorn tincture in large doses.

Another great effort on my part to create a career, stable income, savings, and assist others .. FAILED.
Partly, the timing was wrong .. too early .. for the innovations. Partly, I could not learn and program the powerful yet complicated Database software. Partly, I was unaware of the Fraud that Mario had allowed his partner to involve him in .. and that he did not SEE the significance of until Balancing Sessions cleared away the fog created by Energy Blocks. Partly, I was unaware of the degree to which Mario's partner was financially supporting our efforts. I was also greatly naive in assuming that Presidents and Managers of established companies would PROMISE outcomes from their service which were more fantasy than reality .. just for them to be busy and extracting needed funds from poor people. Going through short yet intense life-and-death medical experiences was an added challenge. Separating from my fiancee of 3 years was also not expected, but, was necessary. Living homeless I worked out possibilities with Spiritual Guidance, though unconsciously .. as NO short-term RECALL did not allow dwelling on the negative .. my Personal Spirit was becoming most unhappy with the seeming mandate of FAILURES.

1997: Redesign and Recoding of Enlow Website for marketing, --- Up to Top
While working at the Networker's Club, I continued and expanded my Balancing Therapy practice as much as possible, partly to provide some income as well as some variation in work tasks. One of my clients wanted to make an investment in a preconstructed franchise-like website with digital article-like products. The format and display of the website had either been coded much earlier, or, in my opinion, needed extensive updating to be successful. I suggested this to my client and he asked if I would do the reformatting for HIS use, as he had already purchased a copy. With no money coming forward yet for the work I had been doing for the Networker's Club, and knowing that I could IMPROVE the website based on my experience in formatting webpages and websites in the previous few years, I accepted.

To provide a PROFESSIONAL quality redesign, I needed to be intimately aware of the philosophy of the website owner and of the content of his products .. in order to maintain the TONE desired by the owner. Essentially, the owner, MIKE ENLOW, had written a number of articles about selling on the Internet and had a website which promoted and sold these. He had held presentations billing himself as a successful Internet entrepreneur and business consultant, a millionaire, and a willing owner ready to share his source of riches, his website and products, with paying entrepreneurs .. who would receive a copy of his website and products and sell them directly and reap a gold mine of Profits from their investment. Each could buy a copy for USA $5,000. The digital products would sell for pricings from $12 to $39, with $200 for a seat at one of his seminars. He had sold 50 of these including to my client. This had brought him sales of USA $250,000. Other contracts and seminar seat sales had brought in perhaps another $100,000. He wasn't a millionaire .. from this, yet. I later found that of the 50 site franchises he had sold, only TWO had made more than $100 in SALES (not profits) in a period of 2 years!

I had taken extensive private school instruction from CSPI (Canadian School of Private Investigation) and had personal experiences with the complexity of legal system administration. I proceeded to do my research - investigations. It was early in business use of the Internet. He had used such dramatic, theatrical promotions and advertising on BLOGS and FORUMS (it was too early for social media and cellphones) that he had raised many comments of ridicule, parroting (mirror sites), and, attack. The Internet was still at a stage, and would be until after 1999, where most users felt that businesses and advertising should NOT be allowed on the medium. This had become irritating enough that Mr. Enlow hired one or more programmers to code a SPIDER program which would sift through any blog, forum, or other website, and, DELETE any unfavorable comments about him or his business, and, replace them with a favorable push. Titled "UCE Cancelbot" I managed to get a copy of it, though lost part of it in the interim. Within a year, his use of the program disappeared .. as if he never had it or used it. From my own sources, I heard that the CIA had given him an ultimatum .. Sell it to them with Exclusive Rights .. for $100 .. and NEVER use it again, or else! They knew the damage it could do as a tool for spreading misinformation and conducting espionage.

Looking further and deeper, I found a contract template that he used to obtain monies from clients who were looking to him for EXPERT Internet marketing advice, and, financial success on the Internet. Essentially, it said that after hiring him, he would receive a monthly retainer, regardless of sales volume, and, 40% of any Profits earned from THEIR website. That meant that they would be paying him a percentage of their profits on the Sales Volume they already had, plus on any which grew after they followed his advice. It also meant that if the client did not gain ANY benefit from his advice, he would continue to receive a retainer, until they closed. In a communication which I discovered, he further and openly confided, because he was selling copies of this contract to others (to essentially run a scam) .. that once they had persuaded the business owner to sign the contract, they were LEGALLY obligated to pay the retainer .. even if they NEVER offered any further advice or contact. This strategy emphatically went AGAINST my ethical basis.

At this point, with the investigation yielding the above revelations, and with my having completed the site redesign with much work, I was Spiritually Guided to NOT submit it to my Balancing Therapy client. At the time, I shared with him the above details and my ETHICAL concerns including that if I provided the website upgrade to him, he would be obligated to share it with Mr. Enlow .. and that would mean that I was SUPPORTING Mr. Enlow's activities (and ethics). THAT was NOT going to happen. My client could not understand my opinion and concerns. For him, his position was that I had done Valuable work; he was willing to pay for it; I should sell it to him and not be concerned about HOW it would be used. Definitely, I could have used the money. Assuredly, there would never be anyone else to sell it to, for any reason. Still, I would have the benefit of the experience in developing some new HTML coding designs and be MORE aware of the DECEPTIONS which people are willing to go to to take advantage of others who are motivated by the thought of EASY MONEY (those who purchased the cloned websites to push HIS products). Financially, it was a LOSS. Spiritually, it was a WIN.

In an almost unbelievable update, Cancelbot reappeared on the Internet AFTER 2021.
I would have found it earlier myself. It has a REGISTERED date of 2006, a last article/project update of 2014.
Ten years or more after its dangerous introduction, website SECURITY updates and Social Media sites are likely protected from such HACKING software. Few persons continue to use Blogs, Forums, and User Groups. And the CIA and other "intelligence gathering and dissemination institutions have perfected tools with the same intent which are VASTLY more Powerful, Secretive, and Deceptive. If one does not know the NAME from its previous history, it would never be found. It may be that the original developers wanted to test if they could make more money on it .. WITHOUT the advertising that would alert the CIA and Enlow to them.

2000: Provincial Security, Private Security Officer, --- Up to Top
Looking for work and more of an income, I went back into Private Security.
Security Officers typically, at this time, worked shifts, and eventually, were placed at a specific client.
I ended up working at York University in the north west of Toronto. It was at a distance from where I was living so travel time to and from the site was long by the public transit I took, and, sometimes, timing was awkward when my shift started or ended at a time not served by the TTC. I was at the site for several months when I heard of a massive break-enter-theft incident in a nearby campus building. A different security company was monitoring that other building and I met one of its officers as I was walking across the campus to the local bus stop. We spoke and he shared the complete details of the RECENT incident.

No one had been on guard during the night hours as the building was totally locked.
All of the rooms and facilities for the student and lectures were on the first floor. All of the offices for the administrators and professors were on the second floor, only accessible by an elevator. The thieves had been well informed and organized. They had entered the building during the no-security hours, accessed the second floor, and removed about 30 computers with their private and university materials on them. At our building, which included a massive library, massive study hall, and many offices and lecture rooms, there was 24 hour security, and, a number of entry doors. Some of these, usually locked-to-outside-entry doors were within FEET of rooms packed with 30 to 50 computers for student use. It could be an attraction for this same heist gang to pull up a truck to one of these entries after hours, when those areas were seldom patrolled and not is use by students .. and cart away a massive load of computers .. ALL located on the first floor.

Our Security patrol team worked in pairs.
One officer would remain in a locked office with security phone communication to the patrolling officer .. who would make periodic rounds through most of the building. Someone had recently stolen a few ceiling mounted projection machines from the lecture rooms, so, it was mandatory to actually enter those rooms and physically check that the remaining devices were still there. Those rooms were never locked. I was Spiritually Guided that the possibility of the theft crew might attempt an entry, as described above, for the load of computers they could gain. As they might engage a patrolling officer, they would need, and likely have, some way of silencing the officer so that the incident could not be reported to the security office manager on duty .. who would call the police. That protection would likely be a gun. Without a dependable and quick alert to the office, the officer would be shot and killed. Surveillance cameras were rarely in use at the time and very expensive as they were new technology.

One night I was on duty and my security office manager elected to do a patrol.
Something arose that required me to contact him .. he was late, and getting later, for his return from the rounds.
I could not contact him for HOURS past his patrol completion time. Regulations were that the person in the office could not leave under ANY circumstance. I was very concerned that he might be in danger. It highlighted that if it were I on patrol and the reverse happened and I could not reach the office, I might be killed. When the manager-officer return I expressed concern about not contacting him. He confided a number of details over the remainder of the shift, and heard others from his private telephone conversations. He had been SLEEPING on a sofa in one of the rooms with his carry-phone turned off. This was perhaps a decade before cellphones became available, popular, and economical. He was working a second shift daily for ANOTHER security company .. largely consider prohibited and unethical. He was considering changing employers. He had gone, slept, and returned .. WITHOUT doing the patrol. The instance could be expected to happen again.

When I had been hired by the longtime owner of Provincial Security, who had recently sold his company, I had expressed an interest in doing undercover work. He had mentioned that I simply take a Patrol Officer position and we would see how everything progressed. I was supremely concerned about the safety of myself and other officers as well as about the security of the university building and its contents and students. I contacted the previous owner and arranged to meet him discretely in a coffee shop not near the campus. We met and I shared my concerns. He expressed surprise that I had not met with him sooner, as if he expected me to be working undercover! He said he would look into the matter and was Very Pleased. In about 10 days, the double-shift moonlighting officer was GONE. I had also noticed and reported, that an exterior door at the end of a long hallway in a remote and office laden area had been left UNLOCKED several times .. affording easy entry from outside. I met again with my executive contact, who was working with his previous company now as an executive advisor.

The sometimes absent officer was confirmed to be working for a competitor.
He had also been providing information to this second company with the possibility that they would seek to get the security contract away from Provincial Security. It was also discovered that this fellow was enticing a teenage girl to meet with him and rape was a certain possibility. The dynamics of the site security changed, immediately. In view of my organized theft concerns, an off-site call would be made to the patrolling officer a number of times during the graveyard (11:00 PM to 7:00 AM) from ANOTHER site to ensure contact. The previous owner was most thankful for my informing him with my details and offered that as a reward he would like me to take over as manager of another site .. a promotion in rank and income. I thought about it. I had just been through what I considered to be a HIGH RISK scenario. A favored friend had recently urged me to come back and work for him. His site was very much easier to access. The work hours would be steady, fixed, and days only. It would be in a considered to be Very Safe location. I was still learning that Spiritual Guidance could be accessed with ANY question capable of being thought. My emotions and fears took hold an I left the security service, again. --- Up to Top

As you may note from the above in relation to THIS Walk-In, the INFLUENCE of a Walk-In may not be dramatic, or even evident for some time .. with the exception that LIFE has been extended for the recipient. The SPIRIT of the person involved had reached a point of STRESS-CHALLENGE Enough .. and wanted OUT. There was a WALK-IN available and willing to volunteer to afford this person more TIME .. for completion of a Mission, for enhancement of their spiritual growth, for extension of their span of maturity building, for.. whatever! Only the person involved, with their current carriage of Energy Blocks and not-best Imprinting, and, life history of experiences .. can TOUCH on how CHALLENGING life has become, or seems to be becoming. They may even, though seldom, be able to stack a trauma encouraging series of events AWAY out of consciousness .. as was NORMAL for me who had little short-term RECALL. I am just moving on .. continuing in the NOW. A danger in our awareness and acceptance of the reality of WALK-INS is that we will project or expect, often in desperation or fantasy, that a WALK-IN will provide some form of miraculous transformation of attitude, behavior, or relationship patterns. Fundamentally, WALK-INS are SPIRITS whose arrival provides Life ENERGY for the person to continue. What happens going forward continues to depend upon the Identity Factors of the individual and those of others they are in contact with. If the other Identity Factors (Ego, SuperEgo, Basic Personality, Reptilian Structure) fail to evolve, mature, and expand their awareness and skills .. any PATTERNS driven by one's Energy Blocks, imprinting, and the structure of one's culture .. will continue to repeat. If an earlier or founding SPIRIT has left because of the energy wasteful (destructive) presence it was supporting, a WALK-IN SPIRIT may chose to do the same.

In what I am Spiritually Guided are RARE instances, several significant alterations of the NEUTRAL Basic may occur. If the WALK-IN Spirit has reached some form of Threshold at which they can no longer ENERGIZE in a Pause state and MUST reincarnate, and, if there are not a range of more perfected Identities available than the one they last supported and left, by Choice and Opportunity, or, by death .. they may find it necessary to ACCEPT a transfer into a LESS perfected Identity than previously. There are also examples of a WALK-IN bringing with them SOME of the Benefits of Skills and Awareness of a previous Identity. Suddenly, the person receiving a WALK-IN "miraculously" seems to express a perfection of abilities usually not present before many years of decades of practice and instruction.
--- Up to Top

It is also much more "NORMAL" for an Identity which has received a WALK-IN to become dissociated from the FEELING and MEMORY of the newly re-energized person. That is, the "transformed" person may not continue to FEEL any ATTACHMENT or history with current and previous relationships (including spouse, children, relatives), and this may result in separations, divorces, abandonments, improvements, or some form of apparent mental illness (confusion). In my experience, this possibility was even more awkward to recognize or acknowledge and easier to misunderstand because of my almost total ABSENCE of the normal human feature of consciousness of short-term RECALL.

The absence of Short-term RECALL presents some unique outcomes, which will be misunderstood by other persons.
PATTERNS of attitude and behavior are largely of an ABSTRACT nature as one cannot observe or reflect upon them in the immediacy. Fundamentally, these take place over a duration of time. That ABSTRACTION is only available with the presence of Short-Term RECALL. Without that, a person cannot put together the PIECES of the pattern for recognition, awareness, and modification. This means that such a person may NOT have an opportunity to LEARN about such PERSONAL patterns, whether of a Positive or Destructive nature. Only by keeping a Diary, AND, analyzing it periodically with a scientific perspective can the individual SEE their PATTERNS. Having other confide to them about such patterns is easy to deny, ignore, or "forget" when Short-Term RECALL is out-of-touch.