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INDEX

ENERGY BLOCKS
Traumatic experiences and their Control
over Human awareness, coping and response.


" Would you mind .."
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" Memories"
memories.mid


LIFE-STYLES.

There are several major classifications of humans which must be examined if one is to understand the history of humanity. These are NOT broad categories; neither are they shared. They are historical in their formation and have a dramatically different view of and interaction with the world. The following outline will not be extensive. The basic elements are presented in the interest of space and time. There are 3 categories: BALANCED, BLOCKED, and the WALK-IN.


BALANCED LIVING.
The BALANCED state is the one in which early hominid-humans existed during 95% of their presence on the Earth. In this "character", hunting and gathering was the primary form of food acquisition. Small groups of people lived in semi-nomadic loosely structured communities in tropical shoreline regions. Their diet consisted of roots, insects, fruits, and meat scavenged from the kills of carnivores. Disease was endemic such that the average lifespan was about 35 years of age. Like many other animals, the sex drive of these humans became active only for one period each year, during the spring season - major changes in environment and lifestyle were happening at this time, the winter had deprived them for an extended period of an adequate supply of vitamin C, and, a reduction in the availability or accessibility of vegetative produce had resulted in an increase in the amount of meat protein in their diet.

Communication was largely non-verbal and of a nature such that modern humans would mistake it for what they term "mind-reading". In reality, it was a combination of semiotics, intuition and mental projection. Children would look to their mother while playing to sense as to whether they should or could proceed in a certain behavioural direction, and, most of the time, no words were necessary to communicate the answer. Hunters would pass through brush and grassland in groups in which the individuals might not visually know where their other members were. Yet they always "knew" where each of the others was, and, they "knew" where a quarry was and what it was. Without a word, they would "home in" on their target - which might be 100 feet away or 10 miles away. Communication between adults in the encampment was assertive - each said what they saw, felt, expected, or wanted. Each respected the rights of the others, or, they would come to an "awareness" that they were no longer desired in the community.

Relationships between men and women were usually monogamous and longer-termed purely by choice and preference with no social expectation of such. All of the members of the community were supportive of each other while not interfering in arguments or disagreements, unless a life was threatened. The day was composed of a relaxed awareness and appreciation for one's surroundings, periods of unhurried gathering of foods, and intimate time together.

Intimacy focused on the sensual appreciation of touch: grooming one another, snuggling with one another, sharing stories and observations and enjoying food. It was balanced with periodic steady efforts of food gathering, hut maintenance, and cleanliness. Essentially, this style of human behaviour was learned by imprinting and modelling the behaviour shown by the surrounding adults: learned by copying what others were seen to be doing. Habit was primary as a basis of behaviour. Appreciation of individuality and its changing preferences meant that little in the way of a tradition was present.


BLOCKED CAPABILITIES.
In General:
The BLOCKED state is a more complex lifestyle which has occupied most of recorded human history: 5% of human existence on the Earth. In this "character", more highly defined individual and social behaviours centring on hunting, herding, cropping, urbanization, defensiveness, service provision and sacrifice, industrialization, bureaucratization, politicism and competition have become the primary forms of food acquisition and social identity. Increasingly larger and more dense groups of people have come to live in semi-permanent tightly structured communities in all Earth climatic regions. Diet consists of a wide selection of mass produced and genetically standardized forms of roots, fruits, grains, beverages, pastries, and meats from "fattening farms". Virus and bacterial diseases are of low mortality; chronic preventable illnesses continue to rise from environmental and self-abuse.

The average lifespan has for much of this period and for most of this group exceeded the age of 50, excepting certain periods of political or environmental "adjustment". Unlike many other animals, the sex drive of these humans tends to be active continuously, driven by the loss of their body's ability to produce vitamin C, by the increased quantity of meat in their diet and by the bioengineered more active endocrine glands - in addition to some fundamental energy blocks.


Interaction.
Communication is largely verbal and written such that an "understanding" occurring spontaneously between individuals of this style is virtually unknown. In some situations, individuals with symbiotic blocks are attracted by their addictions to one another and believe that such is an indication of passionate love.

In reality, it is usually played out such that the weaknesses and compulsions of one party are fulfilled by the obsessions and fears of the other. The weakness of such relationships is the inherent destructiveness of the behaviours and attitudes expressed over the longer-term: possessiveness, insecurity, intolerance, control, emotional victimization, spiritual degradation and physical attack. For the energy-blocked person, the development of "sense-transference" communication is always culturally victimized, denigrated, and, mythologized throughout this period - resulting in social exclusion, segregation as insane, torture, death, and, martyrdom.

In reality, the spiritually deficient insecurity behind these more intense and dramatic forms of communication have encouraged individuals and tribal groups to focus on themselves: on their imaginative abilities; on their rational abilities. Regrettably, and totally in denial, these new traits (behavioural traditions) have arisen from an extended hormonal release of the endocrine glands to multiply the more balanced original set of emotions.

More extreme and dramatic emotions have come to be expressed: envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth, vice, weakness of will, intolerance, hatred, vengeance, rage, and others. Human imagination, according to recorded human history, has usually been utilized to extend fear to paranoia: loneliness to social exclusion; need to material poverty; sensual appreciation to lust; pleasure of new awareness to need for achievement; tiredness to exhaustion; self-awareness to proud expression of identity; respect for others to fear of others; anger to hatred; acting out of grief to vengeance; confusion to terror. The increased release of endocrine and brain hormones in such experiences patterns the human brain easily by "shock" treatment rather than by simple experience. Increasingly as the person grows, unless trained otherwise, more and more neural pathways become "blocked" by "hardened" connections which replace "networks" with "pathways".


Development of Character.
The person's "character" in such cultures, is said to develop as they become less flexible, more reactive, increasingly predictable and more compulsive in their behavioural responses. Most modern human cultures promote the denial of this weakness by attaching a person's social identity to the patterns of behaviour with which the person is born and/or builds upon. If suitably brainwashed, such an individual will rationalize each weakness and deficiency with the excuse of, "That's just the way I am, always have been, and always will be".

Such persons increasingly lose control over their behavioural patterns to fall increasingly under the deception of cultural leaders, the manipulation of those around them, the passivity of their own will, and, the addictive behaviours which they continue to collect in an effort to fill their void of insecurity. Most humans in so-called progressive modern societies have been born with hereditary energy-neurological blocks to which they add more blocks in a process of aging. Such blocks can be released.


The Power of Traditions.
Children of the energy-blocked human learn little from those around them other than by imprinting the modelling they see, hear and feel. Regardless of rationalization and other forms of training and regardless of how hurtful or objectionable an older person's treatment towards a younger has been, the younger will likely repeat the behaviour it has been exposed to when it becomes older, and, further intensify it.

An alternative is for the individual's lifesystem to so react against what has been experienced as to behave with the opposite traits. Rather than become abusive in the restriction of the rights of others, such a person may evidence a total lack of personal standards and accept any behaviour which those for whom they are responsible enact.

In such a manner, a child without guidance and encouragement from a parent may become self-obsessed and insecure. To counter such an insecurity, a forceful and aggressive style of behaviour may be adopted, which, with the infantile self-obsessiveness becomes translated into abuse towards others in any or a selection of degradations of others and one's surroundings. A need for acceptance and acknowledgement (love) from those who appear to remain at a distance from them rather than voice disapproval and approval, encourages the developing human to act out behavioural extremes in desperation.

Emotionally, the human's behaviour can become ever more extreme and frantic as if to say:

"Do you notice me yet?; Have I been bad enough for you to show that you have some standard?; If there is no represented good and bad and no acknowledgement of my existence, what does happiness mean and what is the benefit of living?"



Intensification of Influence.
Should such a person ever gain a sense of regret for any of the physical, emotional and spiritual assaults which have been made against the identity of others - their intolerance, directed inwards, will result in self-directed abuse - which increases their negative stress imbalance resulting in a greater reliance on the energy-blocked instigated behaviour patterns - the addiction will become more fully in control. In a few instances, the dichotomy between what the person is aware of as being constructive and positive behaviour, and, what they realize they are doing - seemingly beyond their control - which is negative, can result in chronic depression, mental illness, or suicide.

Depression is the most frequently cited health complaint of citizens of the USA, Europe, and the former Soviet Union states and it is widely present in humans in most industrialized regions an large urbanized populations. Once a human has an energy block, they WILL pass the influence of that block on to their children by direct patterning, or, by indirect reactive modelling.


Intensification of Control.
In large part, societies of energy-blocked individuals have NOT been supportive, understanding, nor introduced energy block preventive measures. This is because, as many as 97% of humans in North America, Latin America, Asia, Europe and formerly colonized nations have multiple energy blocks controlling their behaviour.

ONE energy block can result in a set of behaviours, attitudes, rationalizations and imagination which support ANY of the following: workaholism; sexual abuse; alcoholism; chronic swearing; environmental hypersensitivities (almost any form of chronic illness); chronic failure to achieve one's intentions; smoking; authoritarianism; sexual addiction; faithlessness; acting out; unemotional coldness; repetitive criminality; irresponsible intellectualization (hatred, prejudice, ...).


Initial Sacrifice required for Eventual Balanced Health.
Since all such energy blocks have a degree of addictive behaviour, the individual involved must be willing to voluntarily "sacrifice" the identity comfort found in the security of habitual patterns in order to chose "freedom". The devil of the weakened will at the foundation of the block-induced experience raises fear within the afflicted person. Never having seen its real god-like self, nor had the awareness to recognize the benefits and nature of such in another person, - the candidate for block release will usually resists improvement either to the threat of identity death or real physical death, and often to death.

The fear within the blocked person is founded in the self-conceited sense of identity which merges the self with its destructive behaviours, attitudes, and emotions which so dominate the person's life awareness. You are what you do, not what you intend -because you have little control over what you intend. The soul cannot be freed until the layers of oppression surrounding it are allowed to fall away.


The Importance of Cultural Leadership.
In addition, the more material-based the needs and aspirations of the society becomes, and the more suppressed the individuality of the human becomes - for the sake of social membership - the less likely the person is motivated to sacrifice a feeling of comfort or normalacy for one of spiritual growth through a release of energy-blocks. Inevitably, the biology of humans and the usually inherent and non-spiritually guided nature of the leadership which is acknowledged or allowed over them - leads to an ever weakening form of social organization, in which humans, like lemmings, rush after their leaders to destruction.


Effectiveness of Energy-Blocked Humans.
Hunters in this style of human will typically have disrespect and even scorn for the environment in which they place themselves, little respect for the quarry, and a general attitude of self-aggrandizement about a carelessly planned endeavour fraught with ignorance. Within their blocks there will often be a trauma of victimization which forces the individual to react to all experiences with the perspective that if anything is frustrating or does not proceed in a positive manner, the fault lies with the environment, the animals hunted, the other hunters, .... In groups, these persons will often noisily thrash through the brush, unskilled in the use of the weapon of their choice, devoid of strategy, and likely to use the "adventure" as an excuse (rationalization) for the expression of an addictive (compulsive) behaviour.

Successful behavior of this group, relative to numbers of persons involved and the powerfulness of the weapons used will be minimal compared to the more professional hunter of the BALANCED human grouping. Without a guide or highly technical aids, the modern hunter is in danger of going nowhere, far off the beaten track, or in getting lost. Communication is virtually impossible between these humans unless it is spoken and the parties are in sight of one another, or are using some form of technology to discount the distance.

The other side of the equation is that energy-blocked humans tend to over-compensate for their weaknesses. Individuals who lack accurate decision making skills, and, because of blocked intuitive skills tend to be indiscriminate and ineffective in learning or achievement, may respond by making inordinate effort in order to produce abnormal and positive results.

Workaholics may achieve more in the final analysis but consistently it results in sacrifices in the experience of life in a constructive manner. The workaholic may present a raised standard which few others can reach by working 1/3rd longer than the normal worker, focusing on a task to the exclusion of consideration for friends, relatives, associates, family, spouse, themselves.

The passive-aggressive polarized personality may take on a passive role at home while acting as an aggressive, intolerant dictator at work, or, in exceptional circumstances, becoming a serial killer. The passive worker who meekly and with internal frustration is unfairly criticized or otherwise abusively treated at work may return home only to express his or her pent-up anger in verbal or physical assaults on the spouse, children or pets.

Even so, the energy-blocked material and capital-centred society will often award such "achievers" as diligent and dependable workers. In so doing, without regard for the means used to reach the goals and conclusions, the culture becomes effective at hiding multiple levels of abuse - which further tears away the spiritual fabric of the culture.


Responsiveness of Energy-Blocked Humans.
Communication between adults in the home and in the workplace is usually authoritarian passive-aggressive imprinted in the home, reinforced in the schooling and religious institutions, and rewarded in the marketplace and military. In situations where such roles are rebelled against, social exclusion, penalty, or "retraining" have often been the approaches taken by the society.

In a minor number of situations, assertiveness classes encourage the honesty, directness, responsibility, negotiation, and respect of others rights - which have been supplanted with deception, competition, ruthlessness, manipulation, passivity, gossip, and lying - everywhere else.

This passive-aggressive communication and behaviour pattern reinforce the likelihood of addictive behavioural development by both increasing the person's sense of pride (where aggressiveness, authority and dominance have been expressed) and their sense of spiritual loss (where their passivity, servility and lower worth have been expressed) to leave them with anxiety, identity confusion and depression.


Instability of Close Relationships.
Relationships between men and women with energy blocks are usually obsessively passionate, long-term or of passing commitment, tolerable frustration, or a combination of the foregoing. Tolerable frustration is present in the majority and is often accepted as the norm.

In relationships of tolerable frustration it is usual to hear individuals justify their participation by any one of more of the following:

"We know each others limits";  
"We stay together for the sake of the children"; 
"Our (church, relatives, friends, social group, ...) 
  would (ostracize, abandon, exclude, penalize, not understand ...) 
                                               if we divorced";  
"None of us is perfect";  
"I could have done worse"; 
"He/she is a good provider";  
"He/she is a good/excellent father/mother"; and others.  

What is NOT said is that they appreciate the individuality of the other person and have a (spiritual) BOND of love with them. A sexual obsession, a financial dependency, an emotional co-dependency are not bonds - they are constraints.


Negative stress environment and activities.
A day for the human with energy blocks, is frequently centred around obsessional ritualized activities motivated by a sense of demand. Awareness is often relegated to a knowledge of and adherence to schedules, task description, dress codes, production deadlines, competitiveness, compliancies, and both career and organizational codes. Intimacy is largely starved of time and consideration, and, like work, it becomes task oriented: something one does to another person; an activity for the release of pent-up need; expected performance, duty, achievement, - something to be seen rather than to be felt.

Casual conversations most often centre around immature and increasingly impractical activities such as spectator sports which convey few survival skills to the participant - only acceptance in a largely passive, follower-type of activity. Other forms of casual conversation tend to surround gossip: the expression of assumptions, expectations, and conclusions by the uninformed about persons and activities with whom and in which the gossiping person has little or no exposure or awareness. The result is that a great deal of emotional and rational energy is expended in counterproductive involvement.

By spectating, the individual withdraws from the risk and joy of interaction.
By spurious rationalizing, the individual seeks acceptance and acknowledgement from equally or worse spiritually- developed persons. Thus, the negative stressors of inactivity, anxiety, projection, denial, victimization, idolatry, and disrespect are highly promoted.

On a more technical note, the energy-blocked individual and society tend to obsess about skills and segments of knowledge. As the society ages, the participants become increasingly dependent upon others. A minority of persons are left who are adept at growing food, harvesting food, processing food, designing clothing, making clothing, cleaning clothing, designing housing, building housing, renovating housing ....

In large part the mass of the society becomes composed of individuals who cannot be self-sufficient or self-responsible and must look to the contributions of others in order to survive. Tradition, as the institutionalization of once successful means - builds security, predictability, inflexibility, and powerful mass human direction.


EXAMPLE.
One example is described below of the generation and influence of energy blocks on humans who no longer live in hunting and gathering band societies located in advantageous geographical areas. The example is real rather than a composite. Every block induced in the foetus from the mother's experience and reality, in the child through imprinting and modelling and in the teenager and adult through lack of positive coping skills - including a constructive support network provide each human with a uniqueness. Once energy blocks are in place they can only be released when three factors are present: motive, opportunity, and ability.

If the individual is in denial, weak-willed, or has an addictive pattern energy block, there is little that others can do to assist the person beyond that of offering honest love.

Honest love affirms to the person that they are important;
it affirms the reality of the subject's condition by stating the facts of what the person has done and is doing which appears to be counterproductive to their aims;

it refuses to take responsibility for the future of the subject although, if asked, the assertive person may adopt a partial responsibility if the subject agrees to be cooperative;

it responds in an assertive and self-responsible manner by remaining loyal to the contract of commitment which it has with the subject: if the subject does not put in the effort and sacrifice required, the Honest Love friend withdraws support, as previously agreed to, in order to be able to support another subject who is more worthy.


Consistency of response is important for otherwise manipulation and deception are rewarded in the addicted personality. There are as many variations of sets of blocks as there are persons: each person has a unique composite of hereditary factors, cultural modelling, and life experiences.


TO LEARN from the example below, concentrate on the relevancy of the factors, not the person. How did the factors which led to negative patterns begin. What was the influence of those patterns on the individual's life? Do you see such patterns in the lives of others you know? Do you see similar controlling patterns of reaction in your own life? If you do not see them, then the likelihood is high (95%) that you have such patterns, yet they are so controlling, and automatic, that they are invisible to you. Others who know you well, and are not afraid or embarrassed to tell you ... could easily point them out to you.

Bad things happen to people, and are done by people, NOT because God wants it that way. When we are unprepared and lack adequate awareness and coping skills, we are lambs waiting to be slaughtered. That vicimization will come from the actions and conversations of identities who are responding to their terrors with loss, or, the ghosts of others who already have spiritually died. The difficulty for us, and them, is that they are physically alive and continuing to suffer the emotional, physical, and spiritual decay forced upon them by the Energy Blocks which feed upon them from within.

There is only one Path to freedom.
It has many branches. They ALL lead to Energy Block release.
Learn to be aware. Awareness helps one copy and reduces the carnage.
Then learn more coping skills and take action to RELEASE your blocks.

Time to end the pain!


RONALD.
Introduction.
Ronald, at his point of maximum energy block accumulation had a total of 260 negative reactive responses. Fortunately, a number of experiences and strategies had kept his current block total level below that number for otherwise he would have been dead. At this point he was aged 38.

He had a severe case of environmental hypersensitivities:
Three types of exposure could initiate his lifesystem into anaphalactic shock - a condition in which the normal body defenses against antigens respond with such strength that they themselves threaten to end life, and sometimes do. His doctors and the North American specialists which he went to could not diagnose his condition.

In addition to these blocks, he also had many substance allergies and food sensitivities. Some of these had been diagnosed by an allergist, but Ronald had not been told the results.

His third marriage was in jeopardy.
He was entering training for a fifth career; two of the previous four had been successful. Ronald had built a good capital base for his age and this was now quickly being depleted. How did Ronald get to such a position?



Before Birth.
When Ronald was born he came with about 55 energy blocks passed on to him by his mother and father, who had in turn inherited and accumulated energy blocks. These initial energy blocks influenced him to be allergic to his mother's milk, to wheat products and to other foods. So stressful was the womb environment of his mother that he was born several months premature and would have been a miscarriage fatality had it not been for the presence of a nearby hospital.

During his growth in the womb, he went through repetitive dramatic hormonal swings mirroring those of his mother precipitated by the hormonal levels in her blood. His mother and father had tried to put behind them the turbulent childhood which each of them had experienced - with their parents heatedly arguing with each other repeatedly, without constructive conclusion, to the point of spiritual and emotional abuse.

Both of Ronald's parents had vowed never to act out their frustrations and anger in the destructive pattern of their parents. Yet their parents were their model. Their society did not teach them better communication and coping skills. Their church did worse by condemning their parent's approaches while not providing any alternatives. Both of Ronald's parents suppressed their anger and frustration and sublimated it into compulsive overwork and obsessive social service - yet there was a starvation of love. Their love lost its capacity for sharing, openness, humility, encouragement. Each was afraid of physical, emotional and spiritual closeness: those necessitated communication and communication revealed individualities, and, neither had positive self-esteem, forgiveness, empathy, or assertiveness.

Ronald's mother had become chronically depressed by the hollowness and routine of her marriage. Her doctor prescribed a child - something more to occupy her thoughts - something to cover and conceal the problem of the marriage. It was through this gestation period of depression, confusion, guilt, and concern that Ronald came into physical being. He was to be the second of three children born to a farming family.

Ronald's father had been "persuaded" by his own rationalization to have a child in the expectation that a male child could lessen the work load. Of concern for Ronald's mother was the possibility that the second child might be a second daughter. When the third child was born a daughter, Ronald's parents decided not to try for further sons - two had been desired, and the burden of expectation was left on Ronald.


From the Mother.
The energy blocks which Ronald inherited from his parents were a patterning of the emotional fluctuations which his mother had gone through in response to her attitudes, expectations and reactions to her pregnancy, her husband and her surroundings during the gestation period. These were added to, or founded on, the energy blocks and ritualized patterns of reaction which both of Ronald's parents had built into their own character from the modelling influence of their own parents, significant others, and environmental experiences.

Ronald's mother had adopted a patterned response when she was in her teens which compelled her to establish her identity according to the work she did for the benefit of the community. At the time of her first menstrual flow, the family and neighbours were called to put out a nearby barn fire - a significant and terrible event. Ronald's mother had no awareness nor preparation of what was about to happen with her or why. Because of the dramatic communication pattern of her parents, she had become introverted and kept mainly to herself about any concerns she might have.

Now, two apparent catastrophes had happened simultaneously and the simplest and oldest structure of her human brain, lacking the pre-awareness or the post-emotional support which would have enabled more constructive coping, gave way to apparent but inaccurate association. She inwardly and unconsciously came to feel responsible for the fire that had devastated the nearby community. She worked to repay that responsibility by becoming a community leader with nothing desired in return at any time except the opportunity to work away her guilt.

When Ronald's father, early in their marriage, had wanted to go west, start a new life and take up an occupation that was the dream of his life, she refused to leave the community to which she felt this indescribable attraction and desire to serve. She rationalized that she had a strong social bond to the community which she did not believe that she would find in a new community, and would not have.

She was correct: the obsession was locationally attached.
Further, she had become addicted to the social work - it gave her positive feelings by satisfying her deep sense of guilt with attempts at redemption and allowed her to rationalize that the benefits which the community received from her service were an indication of its worth for her to be a part of. Ronald's father meantime came to feel that life had crushed his dreams and desire for freedom.


From the Father.
Ronald's father, like his mother, had grown up in a household of strong wills and tempers in which misunderstandings and intolerance were an outcome of the hardships and immaturity of their settler parents. Ronald's father had "fallen" in love with his mother because both of them shared the strong willpower modeled in their parents. In addition, both shared the childhood terror and revulsion for the open abusiveness which had been expressed by their parents. Ronald's father had been spiritually abused by his father and made to feel both responsible for his father's anger and inadequate as a farmer.

Together, Ronald's father and mother were devoted churchgoers who attended with the inner desire for salvation from their induced sense of guilt. While Ronald's mother was obsessively attached to the home community, his father ached for the freedom to escape it and the locational reminder of his father. Believing that his attachment to Ronald's mother was love and adhering to the strong community and religious norms which denied even the consideration of divorce, he bowed in acceptance to the dominant more easily rationalised obsession of his wife and they remained in the community.

For much of the remainder of his life, Ronald's father would feel betrayed and abandoned by his wife's inability to empathize with his desires and her apparent allegiance to the community as a priority before her husband. As is true in all human families, these underlying obsessions became sources of imprinting for Ronald. Abandonment blocks would mandate that he, in his marriages, would be over-sensitive and over-demanding in his expectations for attention and acknowledgement. His parents in their needfulness and denial could not provide for him what they themselves had been starved of and could not give to each other.

With a cultural masculine role of emotional strength (power) through insensitivity and lack of expression, and, an eradication of any expression of or appreciation for anything sensual --- attention and acknowledgement could only be accepted through sexual expression. With these large demands, arising from large insufficiencies of basic requirements, too much intensity is always enough to destrroy what could otherwise be harmonious.


Building Blocks.
As Ronald grew through childhood the blocks which he had started with at birth predisposed him to experience situations with a lack of preparation, and a lack of strong identity. Dramatic experiences were translated into emotionally traumatic and a block-induced naivety encumbered his intelligence such that he found himself in interactions which challenged him and for which he was unprepared and for which he had no source of support.

These situations led to the formation of new energy blocks: situations which by the nature of their negative emotion prompted a largely unconscious "never again" revulsion to whatever was perceived to be the dynamic behind the experience. In reality, their are many situations which are repeated throughout the human life and for which the most constructive response will vary according to relevance. When that open-minded relevance of a flexible response is removed as an option and replaced with an intolerant and inflexible predictable reaction, the potential for failure (destructive conclusion) is heightened beyond simple trial and error or chance.

The repertoire of the energy blocked individual - their character, becomes more highly defined, more easily manipulated, and they become a "natural" success or failure to themselves and the society depending upon the adequacy of the hardened choices. For most humans, the result is the latter. No matter how they try to change the pattern, the harder they try, the more willpower they place at the disposal of the energy block until it becomes an addiction. Then, they respond as robots. For those with a spiritual motivation to do good, such an existence is hell.


Beginning to Build.
Being raised on a farm, Ronald had the opportunity to, and did, develop energy blocks connected to certain grasses and weeds. During that period no respiratory protection was worn by agricultural workers in the region, or the culture, so Ronald's lifesystem was exposed to high concentrations of agriculturally enhanced dust and pollen proteins, recognizable by the human immune system.

Agriculture is the original assembly line approach to production for the purpose of efficiency and surplus through the specialization and homogeneity of one's actions. Planting high concentrations of seeds into easy-to-reap rows in soil prepared to be free of biological competitors and easy to root and find nutrition and water in --- can increase production by plot of land by 100 times more than natural dispersion. The combination of the exaggeratedly high densities occasioned by agricultural cropping and harvesting, together with long hours of work leading to periods of physical exhaustion, resulted in Ronald's immune system building a hyper response: an allergy.

Energy blocks formed which induced reactionary behaviour in Ronald.
This exerted force on his behaviour to withdraw from such an environment. Hayfever symptoms of sneezing, running nose and tearing eyes, difficulty in breathing and concentrating - made the work difficult and resulted in an increased strengthening of will (and allergy) in efforts to continue and complete the assigned work duties. Harsh acting prescription medicines were prescribed for Ronald's symptoms which proved so strong that while an adolescent it had to take 3 times the recommended adult dose for the desired control of the symptoms.

It was not discovered until 15 years later that the main active ingredient in the medication produced, at normal doses, a side effect of deteriorated long-term memory recall. Information could be understood in the present, stored for the long-term, and yet prove difficult or impossible to recall on demand. This facility is preferable in terms of challenge and mandatory for success in a culture which measures scholastic achievements with examination results.

Such physical adversity together with the emotional isolation imposed by the lack of parental communication and the remoteness of informal human contact in the community influenced Ronald to become emotionally oversensitive. Almost any contact person had the capacity to impact Ronald's experiences as a significant other and the potential to initiate new energy blocks from passing comments of ridicule, criticism, insensitivity, or, misunderstood words of praise. Ronald felt starved for social acceptance (friendship) and interpersonal touch (sensuality) without which humans tend to regress in maturity, intensify in reliance on theoretical rationalizations, and diminish in positive self-esteem and intellectual ability.


Raising the Stakes.
At about age 8, Ronald came home one afternoon to find a tiny bonfire of embers burning in the orchard. On a seldom basis garbage would be heaped together and burned; there was no garbage retrieval service - and usually never is for farmers. The fire looked like the remnants of one his father had used earlier in the day. All that was left looked like a pile of ash with smoking embers beneath.

In childlike fashion, Ronald took a small twig bent over the small mound and gently stirred the remains to open the fire and rekindle the glow of the coals. BOOM! Ronald flew back away from the fire, thrown against an apple tree 10 feet away; the surface of the gravel on the driveway 40 feet away was lifted and rolled away; burning ash seared Ronald's eyes and his vision went black. Terror reigned. He screamed, yelled, cried. A few minutes later his mother, and then his father came from the house. 30 minutes of terror and burning pain later, Ronald was taken into the local hospital, a 20-minute drive in distance.

Several weeks later he would be released with partially obstructed vision. Red hot coals had scarred parts of each eye. Corrective eyewear and eye exercises would be the only reprieve from blindness. More energy blocks were added.

For many years, until Ronald took voice training and later released the block, Ronald's voice would have an unintentional whine to it. It would suggest a lack of strength to acquaintances and employers resulting in restricted friendships and employment success. It was as if Ronald's lifesystem was eternally crying out in unresolved pain for horror which had befallen him that day.

Three blasting caps - dynamite stick detonators, had been at the bottom of the fire, surrounded by red hot coals for 3 hours. Ronald's father had a number of them left over from when the road had been rebuilt past the farm some 20 years previously. He had tried to set them off with a sledge hammer and then in the bonfire so that they would not go off accidentally at some time. Most - he thought all, had gone off in the bonfire. His father's energy blocks had prevented him from simply turning the caps over to the local police to dispose of - that would be too much like asking for help from someone else, an admission of weakness - so his father had told him.


Peer Play.
While still in elementary school (pre-teen), Ronald became friends with several peers and an older brother-sister duo from the community. The elder boy encouraged Ronald and a female peer to join he and his sister in play after school one day. Totally trusting, sexually completely uninformed and immature - Ronald and his female peer followed the older pair to a huge hedgerow a short distance from the school. There the older brother-sister pair invited Ronald and his peer to model their behaviour. The elder duo had seen their parents, on repeated occasions, "playing" and having fun as adults (sexual intercourse) and so they now tried to "play" as their parents so that they might also have the enjoyment which their parents seemed to have and so they could be "grown up".

As they described the activity to Ronald and his female peer, the whole activity centred around touching the genitals together. As Ronald remembered it later, even the elder duo were too immature at this stage to become sexually aroused - certainly he had never had an erection as a result of sexual stimulation, and would not for 4 more years. So in play, the couples stripped enough to touch their genitals together, laughing in embarrassment and in the humour of trying to model an adult activity of which they had no understanding.

The noises of play attracted the owner of the hedgerow property from her house and as she approached, the startled youngsters ran from the hedge and ran home - all the while refastening their clothing. The neighbour drew some hasty conclusions and in a matter of weeks those she had recognized, primarily Ronald and his female peer were labelled as sexual misfits in this pious authoritarian community.


Unwanted Attention.
Later, a boy in the nearby town, from the disruptive social class to be avoided by those who attended church, approached Ronald with an attitude of fascination and respect. He began talking to Ronald about Ronald's supposed sexual exploits and experience and honestly sought Ronald's feedback as to what sexual intercourse was like. Ronald was deeply confused, embarrassed, and defensive.

Whatever the boy wanted, Ronald didn't think there was any big event to sex if all you did was touch genitals together. It held as much significance for him at that age as would holding hands, except for some reason, it was socially secretive as a behaviour and taboo for children. Not having a close level of communication with his parents, Ronald felt that he had no one to question or confide in.

What you saw and understood was reality, and what you misunderstood became reality.


Can Authority replace Empathy and Understanding?
Ronald, soothed his loneliness, desire for social acceptance, and energy-blocked motivation to both serve the community and seek freedom through action, by immersing himself in Bible study. The intellect has always been an organ of disassociated stimulation, sensuality, and self-acknowledgement by humans who lack inner security. One can prove anything with the imaginative fantasy of the inexperienced and uninformed and misinformed human mind. When you are shamed from touching, no wonder some people become obsessive in their rationalizations to the point where other less self-manipulated individuals refer to the process as intellectual masturbation. It provides pleasure in a socially acceptable manner for the fundamentally asocial person.

Then, as he entered junior high school, another tragedy happened.
Ronald had become very intellectually attracted to a senior girl. One of his few neighbourhood boyfriends became jealous. The boyfriend, with great glee and caution spread the gossip of Ronald's sexual past to the girl. When the boyfriend openly criticized Ronald for his "fornication" activities, Ronald was confused - he didn't know what the word meant. With concern over the indictment, Ronald searched through his Bible and found a reference in the Old Testament which mandated that fornicators should be executed for their indescretions.

Still somewhat confused about the meaning of the word, the imprinted low self-esteem, acceptance of authority (seniority) and desire for acceptance left Ronald feeling that he deserved execution. As a sincere religious fundamentalist - extreme compared to his parents, Ronald decided with great feelings of guilt, that the penalty he must face was death. He went to his room and attempted to stab himself in the heart. Try as he might, he could not bring the knife beyond the point of touching his skin. Now he felt tremendously ashamed at his presumed cowardice in carrying out the sentence.

The next 4 years were filled with self-hate and denial.
Ronald adopted a human non-verbal response of looking at people from the chest or waist down, the result of a crushing energy-block against his self-esteem. He was too ashamed to look others in the face and defensive against the expected stares of disapproval which might be projected in his direction. It would plague him for much of the next several decades as others would assume from his stance that he was untrustworthy, telling a lie, guilty - when the opposite was true. Protesting only confirmed the misunderstanding which most persons assumed, so, Ronald came to feel increasingly isolated.


Information does not equal Wisdom.
By age 17, Ronald, who was emotionally and sexually immature, and who had become an avid reader, ordered a single-volume "Encyclopedia of Sex" by mail to answer the questions which continued to be raised by his peer's comments about human sexuality. Ronald was confused by their apparent obsession with the topic and confused by what they referred to. Whatever they were referring to was vastly different from his earlier sexual experience. Once he read the book, he gained a better-than-average understanding of the physical aspects of human sexuality for that time period.

The information impacted him with a terrible reality: years earlier he had not experienced sexual intercourse or committed fornication! All of the years of intense self hatred, self-denial, community ostracism, loneliness, and loss of important friendships became focused as LIES. Feelings of revenge and hatred quietly festered behind his quiet, shy, naive appearance.

He became obsessed with learning about self-defense, armaments, killing techniques and bomb-making - all previously abhorrent to him. At an earlier age he had cried when his father had bought him a rifle for use against farmland pests like hedgehogs, skunks, badgers, and foxes. Now, a rifle became a sensual tool. The thought of killing became a promise of justice and retribution for the rage that increasingly grew within. He began to dream about destroying the community nearby with explosives and bullets in an act of total revenge for their destruction of his life. In the guise of religious piety, they had raped him emotionally and spiritually, for years. They had held him responsible and convicted him of the evil in their minds.

At the same time, he recognized the anti-spiritual context of such feelings and intentions and increasingly became obsessed with guilt. Which would prevail? Again faced with the imprinting of no-one to trust and confide in, a low self-esteem, a powerful will, and a desire for social correctness - Ronald saw only one answer: self-execution to prevent an eventual mass slaughter.


Tools used without purpose become tools for all purposes.
Ronald had been given a rifle, a standard farm tool used to limit the destructiveness to crops and fields by wild animals, when he was 13. At that age, Ronald hated the thought of guns, weapons - verbal or otherwise. Now, having found his innocence stimulated his frustration and anger - Ronald became friends to his rifle.

He practised shooting at targets and hunting small game.
He bought books on guns and one on how to construct a silencer, to muffle the sound of a gunshot. Now, the awareness of his growing paranoia and his resolve to provide the solution came to centre on the rifle. Ronald fashioned what he believed to be a silencer for his rifle and prepared to self-execute to save the community from annihilation. He wanted to use a silencer so that other people would not be bothered by the sound - even though few people lived nearby him.

One night, after his parents and sisters had gone away, he fitted the silencer to his rifle and went outside to test it before using it on himself. He pulled the door behind him and stepped outside. In the dark he shot into a small forest nearby - only to hear a magnified report which sounded more like an artillery shot. The sound echoed over the countryside as it returned from the small forest. An inappropriate component in the constructed device had actually reversed its benefit.

Obviously, this cancelled the quiet execution: more study would need to be done. Yet with the obsessive focus on carrying out the execution, Ronald had closed the self-locking door to the house, without any consideration of re-entering. Without keys, and wishing to avoid being found out by his parents, Ronald hastily and frantically forced open a kitchen sliding wood sash window sealed shut by layers of old paint. All was back to normal appearances just before Ronald's parent returned.


Entering the larger society.
Ronald resolved to find employment away from the farm as his allergies made a permanent farming position seem ludicrous. A summer job, taken in his late teens with the hope of earning money for university tuition, was with a road-building company. During the week, long work days returned the workers to a bunkhouse camp at night. Ronald stayed in the section for single men, typically 10 men were housed in a bunk-trailer with washroom and shower facilities located behind the office and next to a main bunkhouse. Many of the men staying at the camp were poorly educated, did not evidence social graces and were not a picture of spiritual harmony. Drunkenness, swearing and smoking - all abhorred by the religious and naive Ronald, were prominent by times.

One bunk-trailer mate particularly disgusted Ronald, although he passively tried to conceal his dislike. The young man was an alcoholic, spoke crudely about sexual interaction and openly solicited young girls near the worksites with the intent of sex or rape. One evening, this same young man forced another young worker to fellate him in the bunk-trailer with Ronald as a scared witness at the opposite end of the trailer.

Afterwards, the young man taunted Ronald with the threat that he was next.
Ronald knew his threat was real. He had carried it out on a less determined prey. Ronald, with strong will, and the determination of fear and revulsion combined, repulsed the admonitions and advances of the young man. The next day, the young man brought a friend with him to taunt Ronald and force him to submit; again Ronald repulsed their advances like a trapped wild animal, for escape was impossible. Again he succeeded. Now he was in terror. Still, his blocks and behaviour imprinting left him with no one to turn to for advice or protection.

That evening, workmen gathered around his bunk-trailer for a party: smoking, drinking and swearing to excess. Ronald was horrified. He could not leave the job: there was no public transportation and how would he explain his quitting to his parents. So he took his sleeping bag, dug a hole at the top of a nearby hill of construction sand and slept under the stars.


Power without constructive focus = A Canon without a Target.
After several days, Ronald met a peer who was also being treated poorly by some members of the camp because of his overweight. He and a friend had received permission to set up a tent and stay there on the opposite side of the camp, in a small forest. He invited Ronald to stay with them for a while and Ronald accepted. Several nights later, Ronald and the others awoke to the blows of workboots through the tent fabric and drunken challenges from outside. Hurriedly, they scrambled out of the tent in the darkness.

They were attacked by 3 or 4 drunken workers with kicks and punches.
Ronald was approached, punched several times and challenged to a fight. Frightened and angry, Ronald raised his hand, then stopped in shock and ran off - leaving his friends in battle. In that moment of terror, what had rushed into Ronald's mind was the fact that he had trained to be a lethal machine - in his mind. During the years when he had been fascinated with self-defense, weapons, killing - he had become aware of not only ways to defend himself but ways to do so effectively - by killing one's opponent. When he raised his hand, his next terror was that he would kill.

He KNEW that he had the knowledge.
It would not be an accident if someone died. The prospect and responsibility of such power he was unprepared to cope with. For him, there were only two options, run or kill. It is unlikely that he would have seriously injured anyone. But that was not the reality for him, at the time, in that moment of terror. The outcome was that he was left with an image of a coward and a victim to those in the camp. No way to win. No way for acceptance.


First Job, First Love.
Soon after Ronald got his first "permanent" job, he was introduced to an immigrant female peer. For years, immigrant women would attract him as a result of another energy block: local women were dangerous because ONE had been driven away by gossip - a painful emotional experience for a human which has been emotionally starved. He offered the girl help in learning to swim; she accepted. He felt needed and liked the sensual satisfaction of holding her. His emotional starvation became attraction. He began to date her. Coming from a different culture, she had been patterned and encouraged to conduct courtship as a game of baiting in order to influence an increase in the man's possessiveness and attentiveness or to have the less serious fade away.

Once, when Ronald went to meet her for them to go out socially, the woman's cousin voiced the deception that his date had just left with someone else. She was really in the next room, but Ronald did not know that. He was emotionally crushed; he felt betrayed. For him, he had taken a supreme risk, and failed: Trust. He left quickly. His girlfriend came out and ran after him, crying that it was not true; the whole thing had been a misunderstanding - a joke commonly played on suitors in her country of origin.

Cautiously, Ronald returned to have the explanation confirmed by the cousin. Now the two were emotionally committed as the energy blocks of each dovetailed or mirrored those of the other. Both came from emotionally unexpressive families, both were unassertive, both were inadequate in expressing their individuality, both were emotionally starved, both had low self-esteem, both received the total of their sexual education from the same single volume manual. A fast courtship led to a quick engagement and a marriage some months later.
Emotional co-dependency developed.


Blocking happiness and fellowship.
After the marriage, Ronald took his role of husband and primary provider to the same obsessive extreme that his father had. It never feels right to a human who has been imprinted or modeled, unless they are repeating the pattern impressed upon them as the norm, the natural. Ronald quit one job under the influence of his energy block of religious fundamentalism when he understood the employment requests and personal behaviours of his superiors as being immoral.

Training into another career, he mirrored his mother's obsessional pattern of service to the community with service to his customer. He became their servant. Social life with his wife diminished to zero as their plans were repeatedly overthrown by requests from customers, which stretched beyond regular work hours. Ronald's patterned lack of sensual appreciation, growing emotional dependency, and reaction to a modelling of sexual avoidance made him a candidate for sexual addiction. His high willpower, endemic frustration in his career and the culture's general lack of relationship skills training encouraged his need for daily sexual activity.

True intimacy and caring were sacrificed by a lack of committed time together for both social, home and intimate enjoyment. When his wife's sexual interest and drive declined through a combination of birth control side effects, lack of attention, and a too obvious infantile sex object approach, Ronald came to believe that she did not love him anymore. After 8 years of annually expressed intentions to do better, Ronald, facing a collection of stresses, filed for divorce.

Despite frustrations and opportunities, he had never been unfaithful to his wife and for many years had not even considered divorce as an alternative. He would later gain the awareness that he had been obsessive in his work, and that both of them had been unable to express themselves either sensually or assertively. They both needed what they could not describe nor ask for.


Never Enough - Blocking you from what tou want.
Ronald's career had grown during his first marriage.
He had worked his way to the top management quickly. He had inspired others. He had been a perfectionist and had achieved standards which few balanced lifestyle employees could. He had undertaken and completed night school courses. He had designed a house, cleared a complex piece of land, subcontracted the basic structure and completed the construction and all of the finishing of a house, largely without assistance and on the weekends.

To fill the time, his wife had taken craft courses and advanced herself in her employment. There would always be time together, but, they would be intense shared endeavours that involved going places and working together --- always DOING --- no time to just relax and enjoy each others presence. Ronald had encouraged her to be more self-sufficient for those times when he was away at work. By the end of the second year of marriage, they had learned that children, which they had expected to have - was to be a challenge.

Ronald's wife's sister had been shown to be a hereditary disease carrier - and that most women in any such family would be. It was likely that any male child born would be retarded in all forms of development and die young. They had seen the son born to the sister. For 2 years he lived in constant frustration, frequent pain, incessant illnesses, and never developed to a point of being able to recognize anyone as familiar. He had then died. There was no cure nor any expected for decades. All female children had the potential to be carriers.

Ronald knew that his patterned emotional starvation would not provide him with enough love for such a child; nor would his sense of toxic shame and low self-esteem survive the guilt if an afflicted child was born. The energy block of freedom-seeking, replicated from his father, became expressed as an obsession to become financially independent before allowing himself to relax with a family. This was precipitated by increasing dissatisfaction with the moral factors influencing his work.

Ronald believed that he should resist changing jobs, yet lack of efficient and quality customer service saw him tender his resignation 4 times and each time be persuaded to return. Substantial improvements took place; however, the recurring prospect of job insecurity triggered the need for freedom. Perfectionism minimized the substantial positive influence he had brought to bear on the company. Half of the many suggestions he had submitted to management had been acted on -- 10 times more than for anyone else -- but, it wasn't 100%, and that proved depressing.


Who's in Control?
With the anxieties of long hours and unstable timetables added to the job and marriage dissatisfactions, Ronald began to lose the memory of periods of time while he was travelling. These began to concern him in case he should blackout and cause an accident. The REAL reasons for the present difficulties would not be discovered for many more years. He didn't mention his concern to his wife - he didn't want to worry her.

He went to a number of doctors and specialists who ran neurological scans and numerous physical tests. A possibility of a brain tumour existed so Ronald was scheduled for a lumbar puncture examination. He was misinformed and expected the test to take several hours. He expected to drop by the hospital, take the test and be back at work or home within an hour or two. Again he did not tell his wife. It was a problem. His problem. He had always had to look after his problems alone. His job was solving problems and he was good at it. He was not one to complain. It wasn't that he distrusted that his wife might be able to help. He was to be strong enough to look after his own problems, and, assist her with hers when she had any. Wasn't that the husband role?

Admitted to a hospital, he underwent the minor surgery and was again misinformed that he would be able to get up in several hours. At no time was the operation or its cautions and side effects described to him. Being a physically active person, Ronald got out of his bed after 3 or 4 hours, did an extensive exercise regime and walked down the hall to rid himself of the boredom and stiffness of laying quiet in bed. His expectation was that he was going to be out any minute. If he got up and showed that he was ready, perhaps that would speed up the process while he waited for the test results.

On his way back to the room, a doctor stopped him, and asked in surprise why Ronald was out of bed. The doctor advised him not to leave the bed for another 6 hours. Ronald later learned that the operation removed a small amount of spinal fluid which normal circulated up the middle of the spine and encased the brain. The fluid served to cushion the brain from shocks against the skull when a person moved or walked.

Following the operation, one had to wait 8 to 12 hours for one's body to replace the fluid. Even a small movement during that time would endanger the brain of being bruised as it bashed against the skull. The injury would not be immediately known for the brain tissue itself has no sensory nerve endings. That meant that successive bruising could be continued without awareness - until complications became evident.
And, complication were going to be evident!


Damage Control.
Ronald had unknowingly severely bruised his brain.
Within minutes after returning to his room he began to get a headache for brain edema (swelling). He could not remember ever having a headache before. Now the pain became unbearable. Even a slight movement of his head resulted in a sharp pain that felt like a giant needle had been thrust through his skull.

Still no comforting information to prepare him with understanding.
He was denied medication for the pain either because such was deemed negative to his recovery or because no adequate pain suppressant was available for his condition. With the changes in nursing and doctor shifts no one had taken the time to record the nature and origin of the now severe condition of Ronald. No one believed that the pain was as bad as Ronald said it was and Ronald did not want to bother them. Ronald began to believe that he was dying.

Ronald entered a state of final desperation.
He was now fighting for his life and sanity. Nothing was going as he had been led to believe. Everything was falling apart. What did it mean? With total focus on trying to understand and resolve the current, now severe problem, there was no energy for other considerations. His distraction led to his inability to take into consideration that he had not left any messages for or informed his wife of where he was going or what was happening. No relative or friend knew; no one came to visit, soothe or question on his behalf.

Still concerned about the strange and potentially destructive symptoms which had brought him to the doctors, and having a scholar's interest in psychology, Ronald made the spurious association that the "illness" could be somehow connected with his past guilt and shame ridden experiences. In the hope of providing help for someone else in the future who might encounter the same problem, Ronald asked to see a psychiatrist urgently. Believing that his condition was terminal, Ronald revealed that he had experienced terrible feelings of hate, anger ... in the past. Overheard by the other patient in the room, Ronald was moved to a separate room by himself.


Facing Torture Alone.
The surgery had taken place on a Thursday morning.
By Friday afternoon, Ronald had talked with the psychiatrist.
Friday early evening he was in a separate room. The doctor was away for the weekend. The nurses never checked Ronald, believing that he should be feeling well and on his way to full recovery and discharge by Monday morning. Ronald believed he was going to die any minute.

After hours of constant, severe pain, he signalled for a nurse and asked for some medication, again. She said she would get some, and never returned. She was going off duty and left the request for the incoming nurse to fulfill. The incoming nurse could not find any suitable medication and forgot about it with her other duties taking precedence. Still, with incomplete reports, the hospital staff could not empathize with Ronald's situation and considered him to be a low priority.

For the next 48 hours, Ronald pressed himself rigidly flat against the bed trying to avoid the piercing pain in his head. It seemed that even the winking of an eye was adequate to triggering the next slash of pain through his skull. The constant tension drained his physical strength, the piercing pain was as effective emotionally as if he had received an electric shock --- that kept being triggered every fe seconds or minutes. The neverending challenge with a denial of assistance or comfort from anyone else weakened his spirit.

Torture anyone long enough and they will lose control.
In the dark of early Monday morning, Ronald could take no more.
He would solve the problem with the only option left for him. He struggled to remove the rotary blade from his electric razor and used it to slash repeatedly across his left wrist. But he was too weak: all his energy could scarcely do more than scratch the skin. By the time the morning nurse came in, he had managed to almost draw blood from the flesh below the skin. His efforts were eventually discovered and he was moved to the psychiatric ward and sedated.


Energy Block Fallout: Hurting Others, Hurting Yourself.
Ronald's hospital experience and outcome came as a shock to Ronald's wife and parents.
On Thursday morning, he had left his wife who believed that he was in good physical health although somewhat stressed otherwise. She worried when he didn't come home by Friday morning, he was sometimes quite late at a customer's but never had been that late. She went off to work expecting to hear from him during the day or see him when she got home. Nothing. By Sunday night, the police had contacted her to enquire as to why Ronald's car had been in the hospital parking lot for several days.

Ronald's wife was mentally disoriented when she found the person she had loved for his physical strength, determination, well-meaning religiously-centred motivations and respect for her - now physically exhausted, in despair, suicidal, and apparently without concern for her. Why had he not told her about his concerns, his operation, his length of stay at the hospital, his need for recovery support? So many questions. She felt denied and betrayed. She didn't know how to face her husband. He was totally occupied with simple survival at this point. Neither nursing staff nor doctors shared with the relatives or her as to why he had come to the hospital, or, what had happened. How he ended up in the psychiatric ward on suicide watch was unexplained. They just found him there!


Awareness is not enough.
For the next 6 weeks, sedation kept Ronald in a half-conscious dreamworld.
Then, a further 6 weeks of almost daily sessions of group psychotherapy removed all indications of mental confusion and depression and Ronald was discharged permanently for feeling well enough that he was returning as an outpatient with the motivation of helping other patients! Patients helping patients was unacceptable. Only specialists could do that.

Ronald had been forced to slow down his pace and reflect.
He had received feedback from a number of others about his frustrations and anxieties. Denial was no longer possible. He had to stop following the directions everyone else gave him and choose a life he wanted. Ronald acknowledged that he had to make decisions that would be good for him knowing that a friend, his wife, his employer, or a relative might not like such a decision. He had to take control. But Ronald was still controlled!


New Direction - Taking Self-Responsibility ?
Ronald started making aggressive authoritarian decisions about his life.
Passivity had not worked. The only other alternative he knew was one of aggression: make decisions according to what you want, without consideration for others. He refused relocation by his company and demanded relocation into a region where he had been building a house. He tried part-time self-employment in a new field, as compelled by his father's energy block for freedom. He wanted OUT of the work prison he had built for himself.

His work days at his regular career, his part-time career, his home finishing - left little time for family life. Ronald became more emotionally cold, more frustrated, more demanding. Then, a string of mishaps occurred. While moving a piece of equipment on the job, Ronald took the full weight of the machine when the client's helper expressed that he thought he would have to drop the machine. A chronic very painful lower back injury resulted.

Ronald took chiropractic treatment and continued working.
Most of the time he was in pain. He avoided the use of drugs and continued with a long workload. Ronald was just recovering well from that when his car was struck by another driver who was under the influence of drugs. Ronald woke up two days later in intensive care with retrograde amnesia from 8 hours before the accident.

In intensive care, in a coma - a nurse had remarked that the doctors had done all they could. She later confided to him that his condition had continued to deteriorate, until, someone had said the words: "We've done all we can, the rest is up to you." Almost immediately, and near death, Ronald began to recover.


New Direction or just New Variations on the old blocks ?
After a week, when the shock of the accident was beginning to wear off and he had been released from hospital, Ronald found that he had a severe whiplash. Constant severe pain, excruciating physiotherapy, and attempts to continue his work ended with Ronald's company laying off 90% of their personnel, including Ronald. The pain became so intense and debilitating that Ronald retreated to the garage on several occasions to cry and pray to God for mercy - he could not bear to allow his wife to see him so humbled.

Several doctors told Ronald that he should prepare for a wheelchair existence. Several career counsellors advised that he attend and complete a university education. It meant being away from his wife and home for 5-1/2 days every week. He applied and began what would become a 4-year full-time course. For the first year, he saw his wife for only 1-1/2 days a week, maximum. There was little time for anything and too often communication became intense and demanding. Too much to DO in too short a time. Telephone calls were considered too expensive. Bus schedules and course demands were the highest priorities.

Other changes and challenges occurred and Ronald decided it was better to be divorced than live in utter frustration. He and his wife had tried marriage counselling before, but very little effective counselling was available at the time. It failed. Midway through university, he felt that he had already been separated for 2 years; he asked for a divorce. His wife still loved him and didn't want a divorce. Both still had poor communication skills about feelings and frustrations. His intense and insensitive expectations and their lack of awareness of the libidinal deadening side effects of longer-term birth control pill use -- signalled more and more a developing emotional chasm.

Ronald only had his parent's marriage as a norm for success.
He had never seen them quarrel or debate about anything.
They had, but as per their committment to each other: Never in front of the children. Ronald and his wife DID have occasional disagreements and assertions of individuality. Neither knew empathy, negotiation, how to listen, assertiveness, emotional sharing - for neither had seen such skills modeled and their institutional training had never encouraged such skill development.

Ronald's patterning meant that ANY dissention in a marriage meant there was a serious problem. They HAD a problem. Try as they could it had not been fixed. That meant they weren't good for each other. If he had to live celibate for the rest of his life in order to be able to interact with others in a religiously acceptable manner, that would have to be the choice.


Growth, Positive Stresses, Releasing Energy Blocks.
The next decade, for Ronald, resulted in a lot of skill-building, experimentation, and change. His awareness of humanity, in general, increased by a combination of intense study and considerable interaction with many people, both as clients, friends, employers and spouses. His experience demonstrated that while many approaches to success and health enhancement could be remedial or sustaining for humans, few were corrective. Ronald found that the following activities, skills, attitudes and therapies could help him enhance his health and success and potential, and that they helped other humans as well:

- assertive communication;
- behaviour remodelling ( neurolinguistics, ...);
- energy balancing (Bach remedies, Touch for Health, ...);
- faith through challenge, trust and experience;
- heat mediation (avoidance of chills and sweats);
- humility;
- effective listening;
- meditative exercise (T'ai Chi, Yoga, ...);
- openmindedness;
- reality adjustment (reframing of memories);
- reverence;
- sensual awareness;
- toxic substance avoidance (including coffee and tea).

Energy blocks could be released, so he found, and when such was done a stronger spiritual existence replaced a frustrating physical dependency of existence. During that period he achieved, in part, the following:

- enhancement of health to better than that born with;
- loss of back and neck chronic aches and pains;
- disappearance of all allergies and sensitivities (36);
- loss of sexual addiction;
- perseverance to meet much greater challenges;
- healing of a terminal cancer;
- a constructive long-term marriage.

Block-restricted humans live a tragic life.
Energy blocks can be discarded or released.
You can't pass on to others what you don't have.

You will encourage others, by your example, to replicate your failures and your successes.
Live with it, of live without it - the choice is yours.



WALK-INS.
In General.

Walk-Ins are the spirit transfers from a non-physical existence, which may have been physically alive in the past, into a human lifeform which has a spirit which has chosen to leave. Inherently, the Walk-In is more spiritually advanced than the spirit leaving; it is not perfect. The spirit of a Walk-In is in an existence of "nothingness" - a holding pattern so to speak - until it chooses to enter a new opportunity (human form) in which it can develop further in its spiritual strength through the experience of challenges and the expression of virtues.

Each spiritual "test" which it completes in a positive and constructive manner provides it with greater spiritual strength. When a spirit reaches a level of spiritual perfection, it leaves its last "state of physical existence" to enter heaven - a state of peace, contentment, and overall happiness. The intermediary state of spiritual nothingness is a "hell" which is relative in its "discomfort" to the degree of imperfection of the spirit. It is in relation to how far the spirit has placed itself from the love of God. Energy Blocks disassociate us from God's Love. Personal conscious choices of Ego or SuperEgo pride result in our assuming the position of a god. Our imperfection necessitates eventual and frequent failure resulting in our sabotaging our happiness and success. Requesting and choosing to follow Spiritual Guidance is the positive opposite.

"Discomfort" encourages "free spirits" to seek for opportunities to improve their state of Grace before God. Such opportunities arise when well-intentioned spirits of human identities (persons) become spiritually exhausted. This may occur if the person is neither taught, mentored, modelled, or encouraged to develop constructive coping skills adequate to the challenges she or he will be exposed to in their family, culture, or environment. Most of the "bad things" which happen to humans occur as a direct result of the individuals and the culture involved not having developed and practiced spiritual skills and strength.

With the assistance of God, all things ARE possible - relative to the nature of the achievement. A human culture with spiritual priorities promotes such skills and attitudes: its survival will eventually depend upon which priorities its leaders and participants have adopted. Changes in conditions, stability of lifestyle, and a positive history of humanity are dependent upon the collective spiritual will of the participants.


Where and Why.
Walk-Ins come to the Earth from several more-spiritually-advanced-than-humans cultures and from spirit "hostels" in the universe. Their motivation is for self-advancement through spiritually guided service. By choosing to contribute to the spiritual advancement of human society, they "earn" by intent, devotion, spiritual guidance and performance - a higher form of spiritual existence. They must choose a human lifeform to enter, as their opportunity, and it must meet the basic conditions desired by the Walk-In. The lifeform of a human who dies a willing, but not wilful, natural death by old age or other means - cannot be entered. Others, as described below may be chosen.

The Walk-In generally considers the PRESENT state of the person's body, the social relationships which the person is involved in, and the nature and degree of the difficulty of the crisis which the departing spirit is in. Essentially, the departing spirit has decided that it does not have the spiritual strength required to cope with the crisis at hand: it cannot continue; the Walk-In decides that it does have the spiritual strength required to cope with the current crisis and is hopeful that it will be able to provide a benefit to the universe in its new opportunity.


What are WALK-INS ?
Walk-Ins are not perfect.
They are more advanced spirits than are present in most humans.
Walk-Ins are neither gods nor do they have superhuman capabilities.
They must adopt the true (rather than the apparent) capabilities of the human body they accept. This includes any resident energy-blocks. Since memory is a also function of the human physical body, the Walk-In adopts the memory of the person which has been in that form at the state which it was in when the former spirit passed away. In other words, the Walk-In is "gifted" a memory.

This "memory" may provide an initial state of confusion for the Walk-In and those who are close to the former person in a manner of relationship. The history (memory) of the former person will become instantly "known" to the Walk-In spirit in the human context of "as if it had been read." The emotional "lived" relationship will not be present.

That is, the "reborn" person will NOT "feel" an experiential connection with the events or persons of the past. Neither will the Walk-In "remember" the former physical state(s) which it has inhabited before becoming this new identity because of the physical nature of memory. It sometimes occurs that the Walk-In will wonder at the "good fortune" of the identity which they have been born into relative to other cultures, families or status in humanity. In other cases, they may wonder at the mess they find themselves in, although, they will seem to know which decisions they need to make in order to gain a more positive spiritual environment.

The relative unemotional attachment experienced and expressed to other persons who have known this identity can create confusion, anxiety, disbelief, distrust, anger, and revulsion in those who had the experience formerly of being a close friend or intimate. Patient, compassionate and truly loving spouses or friends of the past identity will seek to "rebuild" the relationship which they had and appreciated. Where this is presented, the Walk-In will frequently comply and the resulting new relationship will considerably advance in positive benefits for the reamining spouse or friend.

Should the remaining spouse or friend continue to be, or become, a generally negative spiritual influence, the Walk-In may choose to break off the relationship. One coping mechanism which the Walk-In would be advised to consider, as well as that of the friend, is that the "new" person has experienced a form of retrograde amnesia.

They have forever lost the memory of a span of experiences, though they have retained the skills and perceptions gained during those periods. Unless the "gifted" memory received by the Walk-In is previously endowed with this concept and the abstract ability to formulate it, it is more likely that such an option will not be expressed. Again, it must be noted, such a time will often be emotionally confusing.


Choice, Opportunity, GRACE.
It must be emphasized, that all "opportunities" for a spiritual transfer and the miraculous revival of the deceased are not utilized. The person's "soul" must be of a positive nature relative to the judgement of the Walk-In spirit. No Walk-In willingly chooses an opportunity which has a high risk of failing. Therefore, certain factors in the subject person's life prove to be of advantage in the selection equation: supportive and loving parents; a spiritually progressive culture or one which affords such opportunities; a physical body with an above average degree of capabilities; good networking potential in the current social status; a political environment which affords and encourages a degree of personal freedom; the knowledge of multiple occupational skills; a history of positively-intentioned behaviours; an interest in religions, cultures, nature.

Parents and cultures which provide and encourage these attributes provide an environment in which, should the spirit(s) of their son(s) or daughter(s) become challenged to the point of spiritual exhaustion, the loss of the original birth spirit may result in the Grace of God gifting them with a Walk-In miracle of new life. These selection factors, and others, are weighed by the potential Walk-Ins relative to the urgency of the world situation at that moment. Abusive parents, who near the point of death of their child make a covenant to God to become reverent, humble, and compassionate - may provide the final factor in an acceptable decision for a Walk-In to bless them with the "return" of their child's life.

In like manner, the exhausted identity, if it covenants with God to provide total faith and trust in God and to seek and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in return for longer (physical) life, God's grace may extend the life of the person's identity with a Walk-In. According to their level of spiritual strength the Walk-In will likely cope better than the original spirit and may be capable or powerful enough to reduce the number of energy blocks in their new body and perhaps even release some or all of them.


NEW SPIRIT, New Person, OLD Situations.
The Walk-In must accept, without previous knowledge, the history of the person who has "used" the body form before them; that is, they cannot decide to leave the body after adopting it and after finding out the history. Like the original departing spirit, they may also find that this identity provides a challenge to great for their spirit and they, at a point of spiritual exhaustion, may also provide an opportunity for another Walk-In.

A Walk-In spirit can become spiritually exhausted in the new identity even as the former one did. While unusual, it is not impossible that a favourable human "identity" may come to be expressed by a series of Walk-Ins during its physical life. Since the new lifeform-person does not have the same spirit as the original one, its identity is, in reality different. This frequently results in the "new" person divorcing or being divorced by their spouse, if married - for suddenly they find that they are with a "different" person whom they seem not to know.

While the new spirit in the "used" body almost immediately gains a memory or the history of that body, it does not have "emotional" attachments to the persons or events in the history of the previous person. The positive in this is that no lingering hatreds, jealousies, or lusts remain. The negative, from the view of previous associates and close relationships, and for a time to the confusion of the new spirit, is that loving and lusting attachments neither are present. If the persons concerned are so suited they may (re-) develop a new, and, often, better relationship than existed previously.


How different is "Different" ?
The effectiveness and spirituality of a Walk-In can provide a model for other humans as to what a human can achieve. Walk-Ins act as sons and daughters of God, with humility and reverence - relative to their "earned" level of spirituality. They encourage other humans around them to be more spiritual in their lifestyle.

There are no "bad"-spirit Walk-Ins, just a variation of degree of spiritual strength achieved. The degree of negative spirituality demonstrated by a human on the Earth is relative to his/her inherited energy blocks; his/her inherited physical traits; her/his family and neighbourhood environment; her/his religious, academic and life skills education; the ecological environment. A Walk-In simply has a better-than-average capability of coping constructively with all of these factors.


Human Candidate Characteristics.
Typically, a human spirit must be preparing to leave a human body and the body must have the capabilities and the skills which the Walk-In believes it can work with. When the match is made - human spirit leaving, Walk-In spirit volunteering, body characteristics deemed advantageous - the exchange of spirit may take place. Humans which have been in such a position include those experiencing a(n):

- illness leading to death;
- accident resulting in death;
- attack by others resulting in death;
- suicide from depression arising out of abuse;
- suicide from guilt as a result of lack of self control;
- suicide from influence of toxic shame;
- suicide from inability to cope with grief.


Whatever the situation, the residing spirit in the human body has lacked the spiritual strength to cope with the current stresses. As is noted above, there is a considerable variation as to the requirement of spiritual strength relative to the "challenge" and there is choice in each, even if such does not appear likely to you in your present awareness. ALL of the "transfer" points involve death.

A Walk-In is indicated when a "Near Death" experience has occurred such that a person has been declared dead by some observer, and, has "returned" to life. This is always the case in such circumstances, if the experience has been real and not fraudulent.


NEW LIFE, or, simply New Awareness ?
There are no negative spirit Walk-Ins.
If the spirit is capable of performing a Walk-In, it is because it has reached a relatively high level of spirituality: positive coping skills, hopefulness, empathic and assertive concern for others, a reverence for God, a self-directedness and a noticeable degree of self-responsibility. Friends, relatives and acquaintances of the previous identity often rationalize that the shock of nearly dying has brought spiritual relevance into the dying person's awareness.

Indeed, in situations of true near death where a person ALMOST dies and then improves in health such an explanation may be accurate. In those instances the individual is unlikely to have been as spiritually negative as those in the Walk-In situation. In the Walk-In situation, the original identity does in fact die.

The spiritually enhanced spirit cannot enter the person's body and assume that identity until the previous identity has chosen to leave and has departed. Non-human beings, which may be tremendously scientifically and materially advanced, compared to humans, often do not possess the spiritual development to have the capacity to act as Walk-Ins.


Delayed Departures.
Negative, that is, destructive, spiritual possessions do occasionally occur with humans. These are the result of the transfer of highly intense and unbalanced identities dying. Such deaths are often the result of human physical abuse, or a murder undertaken by a trusted friend, relative, or acquaintance. The awareness of such a betrayal at the moment of death - if it results in the conversion of the resident spirit to one of an intense negative reactive spirit - results in a "ghost" spirit which may wander through Earth space enacting telekinitic-type movements and evidencing other indications of presence until either of two directions is followed.

In one, the perpetrator(s) of the murder dies or enters a horrible Earthly existence leaving the negative spirit with the ability to release its negativity and proceed into a dimension of spiritual existence free of biological patterns, emotions, physical needs and intellectual awareness: a comparative heaven, or hell - depending upon it's own degree of spirituality expressed while alive. It will not likely be able to remain there, having more spiritual growth to encounter.

In a second direction, the negative spirit will interfere with a weak or developing spirit and force it into submission and control, as a master does to a servant - sometimes by force, other times by persuasion, deception, bribe .... This "possession" may be short- or long-term, and is dependent upon the ability of the negative spirit to attain a catharsis: a release of the negativity it carries. This may happen through confrontation with a strong spiritual identity, by behaviours which act out emotions of anger and betrayal, or by the original perpetrators of the crimes receiving direct or indirect negative treatment.

It is stressed here that such a negative human spirit, a devil's angel or "son" is in no way connected to inherited energy blocks. Delayed departures are extremely rare and stories purporting to describe them are usually outright frauds or an example of human paranoia and fear creating them through fantasy.


Responsibility is Yours, whether you Defer or Choose.
A Walk-In will typically advance human culture in a positive manner such that the general human social will can utilize the new behavioural model, invention, or resultant change in the environment - to expand human understanding, empathy, and faith - that a less destructive and more peaceful society emerges. The Walk-In provides a new alternative and opportunity for human leaders to make human history more spiritual.

If the populace support, or at least do not restrict, the policies and practices of their leaders, they are conjointly responsible for an other-directed progressive deterioration, or improvement, of the human condition. Likewise, if the human populace call for and select truly spiritually-directed leaders, the positive results are conjointly their responsibility also.


The Fall from Grace.
An inherent difficulty with humans is that since their bioengineered new "identity" was produced, humans are pre-directed towards spiritual degradation and each individual born must seek spiritual strength and salvation in largely negatively spirited communities.

Further, in more recent times, Politico-Reality has made individual awareness and self-direction most difficult. Humanity remains, collectively, responsible for its survival.

Walk-Ins follow a Universal Spiritual Code of non-interference in the free choice of other spiritual identities. They will not force political or social changes; they seek only to diminish the needless grief and abusiveness present in human society and to provide an example of more constructive humanly possible behavioural patterns while introducing opportunities for an easier transition to such an existence.


Examples of Walk-In contributions include the following :

      arithmetic: demonstration of universal patterns as guidelines;
         biology: improvements in effective health care;
       computers: encouragement of planning and reflection skills;
     family life: better interpersonal communication and interaction;
     engineering: less wasteful and more constructive technology;
         farming: more balanced for the environment and product value;
     gerontology: less abuse, greater understanding, higher self-esteem;
      healthcare: more self-directed, self-responsible, sustaining;
        industry: more relevant, less wasteful, higher quality;
      journalism: revealing the truth against opposition from status quo;
    kindergarten: self-esteem, positive coping skills, tolerance;
  enteretainment: inspirational in a truly sharing & compassionate manner;
  lots of others ....

How can they not know what they are?
Walk-Ins, depending on the age of the body they re-activate, may not consciously be aware that they are Walk-Ins. They may become aware of the fact over a period of time through the self-awareness that they are "different" from other humans and in recognition of their strong sense of purpose, reverence, and capability to sacrifice many of the benefits of a materialist capitalist society. Such may not be the case at or shortly after the "transfer" since such knowledge could interfere with their adaptation and acceptance into the society around them.

The spirit which they are, has accepted the mission with the intent of doing the best which they can do. Their mission is not to promote themselves as gods or saints to others: it is to respond to their surroundings within the strength of their spirit and within the capabilities of the selected human identity.

That human identity will provide a physical body complete with potential energy blocks and emotional patterns, a degree of learning and intelligence, social status and connections and assets or a lack thereof.


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